Two Types Of People

There are two types of people in the world. People who categorize the world into two types of people and those who don't.

:)

There are those who do chesed and know how to make the recepient feel comfortable. There are others who don't make the recepient feel good about receiving the chesed.

It says in the Yerushalmi [Orlah 1/3] מאן דאכיל דלאו דילה בהית לאיסתכולי באפה - Someone who eats from someone else is embarrassed to look him in the face [see there for the interesting halacha derived from this principle]. Meaning that human dignity is compromised when one is in the position of receiver. The neshama [as I have pointed out numerous times in recent shiurim] is called "kavod" as in למען יזמרך כבוד or עורה כבודי [see the hakdama of the Baal Hamaor to Maseches Brachos]. To take away one's sense of dignity is to eviscerate [GOOD WORD, EHRMAN!] him of his very existence.

THAT is why Chazal say that to embarrass a person is like killing him. Chazal DO NOT say that to wound a person is like killing him even though one is removing some of his life force in the form of his blood. Maran HaRav Hutner explains that a person's צורת אדם - essential humanity, is partially depreciated when he is embarrassed . When he is wounded, it's just some blood. Not the end of the world.   

A human being needs physical sustenance but more than that his spirit needs to be nourished. Only a person without a neshama has no sense of dignity. In other words, only a dead person has no sense of dignity.

Remember that next time you are at the Kotel and are approached for a donation. Imagine it was your father or mother and think how you would feel and how you would treat him or her.

Remember that next time you get a knock on your door and it is a tzedaka collector. I PROMISE you, he would much rather be the one answering the door and giving, than the one knocking.

The Torah was acutely sensitive to the poor and emphasized that one who gives a poor man a coin receives six brachos whereas one who says kind words receives eleven brachos [Bava Basra 9b]. The coin will only last until his next trip to the supermarket. The kind words may remain in his heart permanently. The kind words affirm that he is a person with human dignity and that is it is PLEASURE and HONOR to help him. 

I admit - I do at times feel a sense of superiority over beggars. "Get a life. Find a job. Make something of yourself," I think.

This of course stems from a pungent sense of arrogance that must be uprooted. I am no better than he is. Some people have good fortune and others don't. Many a wealthy man will tell you that it was just a chesed from Hashem that made them rich but they just as easily could have been poor.

I am writing this post from a comfortable Manhattan apartment and I will tell you what I did to deserve this place.

NOTHING!!!!

Literally nothing. I just happen to be my parent's son and they are kind enough to allow me to stay here free of charge with all utilities on them as long as I wish. Why am I better than that fellow sleeping in a cardboard box outside my building? The answer is that I am not. I am just fortunate enough to have parents who graciously invite me into their home.

In the last 41 years, I have been at many-many-many people's homes. I must say that Jews are a nation of machnisei orchim extraordinaire. People are very welcoming and inviting and the food flows freely. I will add though that it is rare to find a host who makes one feel completely at home. That is the highest level of chesed. The feeling that you aren't a guest but a member of the family. That is clearly the meaning of the mishna ויהיו עניים בני ביתך - Let the poor feel like they are members of your household. It is not enough to invite them and feed them. One must make them feel as if they are members of the family.

Whenever I come to the States people invite me to stay over. They are all blessed and I have a tremendous sense of gratitude to all of them. But staying at my parents place [where I spent my childhood] gives me the feeling that I am HOME. No imposition at all. Stay forever. [Of course I should go back to my family eventually but you get the picture....] I don't know if I can but I hope-hope-hope that when I have guests over I can give them the same feeling. The fact that it is so rare that people actually come over [and often seem in a rush to leave when they do] means to me that people don't feel at home, so I have a lot to work on.

In any event, this post was not intended to be so lengthy. I thought that I would post one last thing before I go to sleep and this essay emerged from my fingers. I genuinely hope that it helped someone. I sometimes sense that after all of the mussar, people remain the same. BUT, I also know people who really work hard on transcending their natural habituation to circumstances and life. Rare but a truly heart warming phenomenon. There are certain people to whom I strongly gravitate and it is often because they exhibit this quality of hearing words of truth and trying implement them into their lives.          

Do 956 words constitute a short post?

Love and blessings sweetest friends:):)!