Validation

Recently I have sought validation from various sources from whom I instead received invalidation:).

It got me thinking.

I don't think that there is a person in this world who doesn't appreciate validation from time to time. But we must ALL remember. Every person has to live according to his [or "her" to all of my sweetest acquaintances. Didn't say friends - trying to sound frum. Am I? Is that me looking for validation again?:)] PERSONAL TRUTH. What is true for me isn't necessarily true for you. You have certain needs and avodas that I don't have AND MIGHT NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND. If I don't validate you, that is an inadequacy in ME and not you. Don't take it personally. You understand certain things that I don't. You have a different task in this world than I do.

Constantly seeking validation stems from a lack of self confidence. Believe in yourself and you won't be as needy for others.

It's OK to ask a friend for an objective opinion from time to time but remember - A] No person's opinion is really objective. Everybodys attitude is colored by their experiences and beliefs etc. B] Most [meaning all] people can't fully comprehend who you are. For goodness sakes - you don't even fully understand YOURSELF [trust me on that one] so how can you expect someone else to?? [I ended that sentence with a preposition במזיד].

I've said this before but it's worth repeating: It's worthwhile having a Rebbi who will be your "comptroller" making sure you are on the right road.

I, Baruch Hashem have no issues with self confidence [maybe too much??]. Nevertheless, from time to time I ask my Rebbi [he knows me REALLY well], "Rebbi, am I doing the right thing??" If he says that I am and I think that I am and then others tell me that I am not, I can confidently [and respectfully] continue on my path.  If I don't and I constantly second guess myself - then I need.... therapy.
:) 

This requires more discussion - but not on Erev Shabbos Koidesh shortly before candlelighting:).

A gitten to all:):)