Being Re-educated

I have posted numerous times about what I consider the rudeness of people who ignore emails of friends and associates. However, I have some exciting news that I would like to share:)!

It happens so often that I have come to expect it and am actually surprised when people do respond. So, if I email a yeshiva about possibly teaching there they will in all likelihood ignore me completely, so I am no longer disappointed when they do. That is par for the course. If I email a friend asking for the contact information of so and so, I know in advance that he probably won't answer, because - what's in it for him. My kavod?? Who am I?? To my face people will pretend to respect me but these same people will ignore me when I can't see them. Isn't responding to someone a sign of respect? Isn't not responding a sign of disrespect? As someone once wrote to me "Thank you for dignifying my email with a response".

Since I have learned that this is standard practice I must take it to the next level. When someone calls or emails me I will first determine if I will in some way benefit from responding. If I will not - then of course I won't. "Rabbi Ehrman, how is it permitted to make tea on Shabbos?" What will I get out of answering that question?? No personal benefit. I will therefore delete it and remove it from sight. "Rabbi Ehrman, I heard you are starting a program. Are there any jobs available?" Someone needs parnassa?? Not my problem. I will ignore. Anyway, I don't like when people call a yeshiva "a program". Besides the fact that his facts are off and I am starting nothing.

Sweetest friends!! I need your help. Can someone show me that I am wrong. I of course wrote the foregoing as a satire, using humor and sarcasm to convey a point. What justification is there for ignoring people? Why is it mentchlich to look at caller ID and ignore peoples phone calls?? I am not saying that every time the phone rings you must answer at that second but don't we decide whether to answer based purely on selfish reasons? Maybe someone is calling because he needs to talk with you about something??

Maybe the meshulach who knocks on your door is a human being with feelings?? You don't have to give him a million dollars but he deserves something much more important - his personal dignity.

I walk around and cannot get over the self absorption of people that I see again and again and again with infinite expressions.

Money. Is there anybody out there who believes that all of their money is really a deposit from Hashem that was given to take care of one's needs but beyond that it all belongs to the poor. The Torah clearly views it that way. Most people don't. They are very possessive. I have learned that there are two people in every person. Him in general and him when it comes to money. It is two different personas. I have a lot more to say on this topic but not for now.


 Baruch Hashem, I have never in my life taken myself or my family on an expensive vacation. Not because I am a tzadik but because I have never had the means to. I can't judge others because I have never had this test. But I can ask the following question - How can a person spend fifty k on a pesach in Miami when with that same money he can feed FIFTY POOR FAMILIES AT LEAST for an entire pesach including matza.  How can he enjoy himself?? There is only one way - by forgetting that these people exist. Otherwise the whole experience is spoiled. Of course people need and deserve a vacation - but at what price. One's own needs come before anybody else according to halacha [חייך קודמין] but one's luxuries don't come before the basic needs of others [I owe that formulation to Rabbi Aviner].

I feel like I am a kol korei bamidbar - a lone voice in the desert. I wish someone would show me that I am wrong and my faith in my fellow Jews would be reinstated. In the meantime - I wonder, wonder and wonder. Is this what Hashem wants?? Do people really view all other Jews as brothers and sisters as they declare in their liturgy??

I am not sure.

My intention is not to be מקטרג but to be מעורר  - to wake people up.

I will start with myself....:-)