ברוך ה' אשר הציל אתכם
Blessed is Hashem Who has rescued you (18:10)
The Talmud Sanhedrin 94a makes a striking statement: “It
was taught in the name of Rabbi Papyas, it is a shame for Moshe
and the 600,000 Jews that they had never uttered Baruch
(Hashem) until Yisro came and said, ‘Baruch Hashem asher hitzil
eschem.’”
This is a strong statement which begs elucidation.
Clearly, Klal Yisroel had praised Hashem when they sang the
Shirah amid great joy, praising Hashem for the spectacular
miracles and wonders which He had wrought. Although they did
not say the words “Baruch Hashem.” Does that warrant that their
inaction be termed a shame? In other words, Klal Yisroel’s
gratitude in comparison to that of Yisro was shameful! How are
we to understand this?
Horav Mordechai Zuckerman, ZT”L, derives an
important lesson concerning appreciation and gratitude from
Chazal. Veritably, Klal Yisroel sang Shirah, praising Hashem’s
lofty power, His outstanding miracles and His absolute control
over all of the forces of nature. They forgot one thing: the
personal relationship of those miracles to them. They never
thanked Hashem for their personal salvation. Sure, they had
offered boundless praise but what about the simple fact that they
were alive and well? This is the shame. They praised Hashem’s
miracles but forgot to say, “Thank you Hashem for saving me!”
Thus, Chazal use a cogent statement to underscore that
each and every one of us must constantly introspect concerning
what we owe Hashem. We regularly benefit from His favour; yet,
we fail to acknowledge our gratitude. We either do not think or
we are so accustomed to taking that we have lost track of Who is
the Giver.
L’sitcha Elyon cites a letter penned by Horav Chaim
Stein, ZT”L, (who was a close friend of Rav Mordechai
Zuckerman), and addressed to his son, Rav Sholom Rafael
Yehuda, ZT”L, who suffered greatly for years until his untimely
passing at a young age. The Rosh Yeshiva lovingly tells him that
man is obliged to bless Hashem for every chesed – kindness,
which he receives from Him. He must sense this even during
those difficult periods when he feels that he is in dire need and he
opens his heart to Hashem in prayer. Even then, when he pleads
amid pain and deprivation, he must not lose sight of all of the
good that Hashem has done for him.
All too often we remember the source of our good fortune
as long as we experience the good. What about when the tables
are reversed and we are no longer on the receiving end of
Hashem’s kindness? What if the money stops flowing, the
accolades are non-existent and the pain that was supposed to stop;
does not?
It is easy to feel grateful when life is good but when pain
sets in, when disaster strikes, we suddenly renege our
responsibility to those from whom we have benefited. This is not
only a grave error; it is a deficiency in one’s understanding of the
middah – character trait of hakoras hatov – gratitude. During
difficult times, not only will gratitude be helpful, it is essential toward maintaining one’s level of human decency. In fact, it is
precisely during times of crisis that we have most to gain from a
grateful perspective on life. In the face of brokenness, gratitude
gives us strength. In the face of despair, gratitude imbues us with
hope. Indeed, gratitude grants us the ability to cope with difficult
situations and hard times.
We should really distinguish between feeling grateful and
being grateful. The average person does not have total control
over his emotions. Thus, it is difficult for us to will ourselves to
feel grateful, less depressed or happy. Feelings are emotions
which are dependent on the way we view life, the world around
us and the situation in which we find ourselves. They are: an
expression of what we perceive; thoughts concerning the way we
are, as opposed to the way we want to be. Therefore, since
feelings are often not within our ability to control, we might not
feel grateful even though we know that we should.
Being grateful is an entirely different story. Acting
appropriately, such as being grateful and acting with gratitude,
reflects a prevailing attitude; it is a choice that is enduring and
should be relatively immune to the gains and losses that are part
of our lives. When disaster strikes, a grateful attitude can provide
a perspective by which we view life in its entire context. In other
words, things may not be going in our favor now but that can
change. It was not always this way, so it is quite possible that it
will change and become good once again. Acting in a grateful
manner allows us to grow, to transcend the present crisis, to look
toward the future with hope. Furthermore, by being grateful we
will achieve a level in which we will feel grateful.
"והודעת להם את הדרך ילכו בה"
And you shall make known to them the path in which
they should go and the deeds that they should do. (18:20)
“The path in which they should go; they should go,” is a
reference to visiting the sick. By virtue of simply “going” to visit
someone who is ill, even if he does nothing, the individual has
already fulfilled the mitzvah. What is it about simply visiting that
provides mitzvah fulfilment? Obviously, the optimum mitzvah is
spending time, talking. Calming the patient; encouraging and
engendering hope is what the patient needs but the mitzvah at its
basic is fulfilled merely with a visit. Perhaps by understanding the
immediate consequences of illness we can better comprehend
why visitation in its basic form is a mitzvah.
Illness punctures our self-established defences which
conceal the fact that: we are vulnerable to fear; we are really
weak and powerless and above all, we are alone. One who is a
prisoner to his hospital bed is a victim of profound loneliness. He
has time to think and the thoughts that course through his mind
are often far from positive. People may claim that they need no
one but no one wants to be alone. Everyone seeks a connection
with someone. No Jew is ever alone, he is a member of a
community, a shul, a school or a chaburah – a group. When he is
alone in the hospital and all of his friends are out in the world
living their lives, talking about their future plans the patient feels
terribly alone.
People must make the patient feel that others still care
about him. Out of sight out of mind is sadly a reality. Ask anyone
who has been a patient alone in a hospital. Bikur Cholim means
visiting the sick. When one enters the room of a sick person, he is
conveying a message: “You still matter. You are still connected to
your friends. No one has forgotten about you.” By helping him to
conquer his loneliness, we are fulfilling the mitzvah of Bikur
Cholim.
Bikur Cholim is an act of chesed and as such, demands
that the benefactor identify with the beneficiary. In the case of
Bikur Cholim, this means that we must understand as best as
possible the meaning of loneliness. How does it feel to be all
alone? Some of us have Baruch Hashem never experienced that
feeling; thus, fulfilling the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim takes on a
new challenge. I must convey to the sick person that I know what
you are going through and I feel your loneliness. In that way, the
patient will not feel that “they are just visiting me to ease their
conscience. They do not know what I am going through. They are
clueless concerning my loneliness.” If we can psyche ourselves
up to understanding the meaning of being a prisoner in a hospital
bed, alone at night and most of the day, with no one to share the
patient’s personal emotions, then we can properly fulfil the
mitzvah of Bikur Cholim.
[Pninim]
