Thursday, November 30, 2017

Bikkur Cholim

The Aruch Hashulchan paskens that the mitzva of Bikkur Cholim also applies to a man visiting a woman and a woman visiting a man. The Tzitz Eliezer wonders where the Aruch Hashulchan derived this halacha from and disputes him. He says: Man to man. Woman to woman.  

My two cents [with the disclaimer that the Aruch Hashulchan was one of the poskei ha-dor in his time and the Tzitz Eliezer was one of the biggest poskim of our times and I am less than a nothing-nobody so my opinion is just a suggestion made as food for thought]: We have two conflicting values at play - Tzniyus and the mitzva of bringing respite to the great pain of ill people. So the will of Hashem regarding visiting members of the opposite gender may be nuanced and not a yes or no proposition. If one is going around the hospital visiting patients for two minutes each, offering a smile and some kind words and a tefillah for refuah then why shouldn't the opposite gender receive the same attention? If one is with a group then it also makes sense that everybody should be visited. 

However, spending long periods of time alone talking with a member of the opposite gender should be discouraged.   

Also, many patients wouldn't feel comfortable with a member of the opposite gender visiting them such as Chasidim who are very strict about limiting inter-gender contact on any level. So that should be avoided. 

Besides the mitzva of Bikkur Cholim it is also a great Kiddush Hashem when religious people visit random people in hospitals. 

יהא חלקי עמהם!!!

I Have A New Name For My Dentist

"Drill Sergeant".

I think his name for me is "Sugar Daddy" because I have made him wealthy.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Vayishlach - Having It All

Shaaaloooom swweeeeteest friends!!!!!

A huuuuuge mazel toooov to my beloved friends R' and Mrs. Aviel Hillman on the birth of Yisrael Chaim Yitzchak!!!! May he be the source of light and great pride to his parents and all of the world!!! A special mazel tov to the grandparents, uncles, aunts etc.!! 

This dvar Torah should be a zchus for my most beloved friend Moshe Yehuda ben Pesha Dina that he should have ONLY good things!! He deserves it. And Hashem knows why but he is quiet and humble about it. 

Also lizchus my sweet beloved friend R' Yehoshua Meir ben Rochel Sarah for good health and mazel for he and his family!

-----

In the HISTORIC encounter between Yaakov and Esav [known to some a "Ee-saw". Reminds me of the story of the two "natives" who saw strange looking men walking around mid-town Manhattan wearing long black coats and black hats with beards and long side curls. So one guy goes "Who is dem guys?" His friend answers "Ha-see-dem". His friend replies "I see dem too. But who is dem guys?"] Yaakov sends some really nice gifts of animals. [How come he didn't send any dogs? I think it is because they were in the Middle East and all of the dogs seem to live on the Upper West Side]. Esav is like "Keep it" because יש לי רב - I have lots. Yaakov says "NO, you take it. G-d has been so kind to me וכי יש לי כל" - I have EVERYTHING. 


C'mon!? Who has EVERYTHING??? Nobody. Mark Zuckerberg has over 60 billion dollars [but  who is counting?  he is...:-)] but he doesn't have everything [for example, he is not on my email list so he doesn't enjoy my weekly divrei Torah and has to find poor humor elsewhere. Plus, he doesn't have a Jewish wife to make him kugel and tzimmes like we all do - unless you are yourself a Jewish wife [present or future] who is a master cook. For all those who take offense at my implication that Jewish women are good cooks please forgive me because I really mean it. It is a miracle that on a good day while holding weights I am barely 130 pounds despite 46 consecutive years of having a Jewish mother and then halfway through a Jewish wife as well. Skinny but well fed]. How can Yaakov say that he has כל - everything? That is a stretch. [What does what I do before I go jogging and what Yaakov said have in common??] 


Moreover, Chazal say that Yaakov tasted Olam Haba in this world and derive this lesson from the pasuk יש לי כל. How does that make sense? Who gets Olam Haba in this world??? 


Nobody. Everybody has problems. Every family has issues, usually serious ones. There are relationship problems between siblings, between parents, between children and parents. In-law issues. Mental health problems. Physical health problems. Financial problems and concerns, pressures and worries [How I am going to pay the rent this month? Very simple, don't pay it...], difficulties raising children, work related issues and stress, things in the house that aren't working, sleep problems, professional sports teams that aren't performing up to par problems, Chazanim-and-Rabbis-that-hold-you-prisoner-problems, anxiety about the future and past, dreams that were shattered, relationships that were broken, trust that was breached, shampoo that finished and you only realized it in the middle of your shower, bumper to bumper on the GW, waiters who forget about you and then expect a tip etc. etc. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS. Yaakov Avinu ALSO had problems. So what is this "יש לי כל" all about? And to go so far as to call his life "Olam Haba"? A bit much to digest...

So here is the secret friends!:-)!!! 

Every morning we say a bracha שעשה לי כל צרכי - We thank Hashem for providing us with ALL of our needs. Meaning, that we have WHATEVER we need and whatever we DON'T have, we need to NOT have [at this time]. It is a matter of perspective. We can DECIDE that Hashem knows best what we need and He makes sure we have it - and He really does. So we really do have everything. Not everything that exists or everything that we think we desire but everything that we really need. 

That is the way Yaakov felt and that is how he could say that he has EVERYTHING. If that is the attitude then it is really a taste of the world to come in this world. BLISS. Sometimes, I am REALLY tired so I cuddle up in bed and tell myself that I am going to spend the next few minutes [until I fall asleep] pretending that I have no problems and that life is perfect. It is blissful. It is also true. Life IS perfect. We define perfection as things being as I desire. But we have to shift our perspective and describe perfect as the situation Hashem decided would be best for us in order to fulfill our purpose on earth - meaning our present reality. 


Esav was different. He said יש לי רב - I have a rabbi. In life you need more than just a rabbi. You need a Rebbetzin too. A rabbi needs his rebbetzin. They are a team. But that is not what Esav meant. יש לי רב means that I have a LOT. A lot but I can also have more. And I want MORE. 


Yaakov said יש לי כל. I have it ALL. [I also have it "all" because my (English) first name has "ALL" in it]. You too, can have it all. If you just decide to believe that what you have is ALL. Because you do. Even your problems are part of your wealth. Together with everything else they allow you to fulfill your purpose on earth. 


Sweet friends!! May we all merit to always feel that we lack nothing.


Much love,
Me

Jewish Guilt

I know a lady who got off jury duty because she told the judge that SHE was guilty. 

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Change

"Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life".

Double Crack!:-)

Tonight I was enjoying a seuda in memory of the holy neshama of the Bas Ayin

So special.

Anyway, I bit down and CRACK - there went a tooth.

Then a few minutes later - another crack, another tooth. 

I can only say הודו לה' כי טוב. I am certain that nothing better could have happened. It will cost me time and money [which hurts more than the discomfort of the dentist] and that is CLEARLY what my neshama needs. 

What does it say about the בן הרשע? Yes - אף אתה הקהה את שיניו. So that is where I am holding. 

The zchus of the holy tzadik should bring all of Klal Yisrael many yeshuos in gashmiyus and ruchniyus.    

AMMMMEEEEENNNN!!!!!!!:-):-)

Take It Slow

Rav David Silverberg

After Yaakov and Esav’s peaceful reunion, Esav proposes that they join together: “He [Esav] said: Let us go and journey, and I will go alongside you” (33:12). Yaakov declines, explaining that this would be difficult on his children and flocks: “My master knows that the children are delicate, and my sheep and cattle are nursing; if they are pushed one day, all the sheep will die. My master shall please pass in front of his servant, and I will proceed at my slow place, as appropriate for my property and the children…” (33:13-14). Yaakov explained to Esav that he must travel at a slow, relaxed pace because of his children and animals, and therefore he could not join together with Esav, who would travel too quickly.

The Tolna Rebbe noted the symbolic significance of this exchange between Yaakov and Esav. The figure of Esav is widely regarded as a symbol of the forces of evil which threaten to derail us from our mission and destiny. And one of the spiritual dangers that threaten us is Esav’s offer that we try to keep us with his rapid pace. Impatience is one of the greatest impediments to spiritual growth and progress. If we try to advance in instantaneous leaps, and to change and grow overnight, we are doomed to failure. In all likelihood, we will either undergo a short-lived change, convince ourselves that we have grown and achieved when we have not, or just despair. Growth must proceed “at my slow pace,” one step at a time. If we expect too much of ourselves, our chances of success are near zero.

In his response to Esav, Yaakov emphasizes in particular the delicate nature of his children. The Tolna Rebbe noted that the notion of slow, incremental growth is especially vital in the area of child-rearing and education. Pushing a child beyond his limits, and setting unreasonably high expectations, can easily overwhelm a child and lead to despair and resentment. “Chanokh le-na’ar al pi darko” – “Educate a child according to his path” (Mishlei 22:6). Each child must be led along the route most suitable for him or her. Some require an accelerated route to high achievement, whereas others need to progress more slowly. Pushing children to progress and advance beyond their capabilities is a tactic of “Esav,” a manifestation of the impatient impulse that too often drives us to demand immediate results. 

In all areas of life, we need to follow Yaakov’s example of “va’ani etnahala le-iti” – to set reasonable expectations of ourselves and others, and understand that ambitious goals require a great deal of time and effort to realize.

A Near Near-Death Experiece

Almost falling asleep. 

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

The Purity Of Yaakov

How is it that Yaakov didn't recognize Leah? How does one have relations with a woman, with his kallah on the first night [!!] and not even look at her?? And what about afterward - he just separated and went to sleep?? [I wouldn't bring this up but the Torah does. תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך]

There is a great lesson here for our generation where all sense of sexual propriety has been shattered. The gemara says יעקב אבינו לא מת - Yaakov never died. He was אמת which is מת with an א. The א represents אלופו של עולם  - i.e. the Master of the World, Hashem, for whom there is no death. Yaakov was deeply connected to the source of life and thus didn't die [whatever that means]. The א neutralizes the מת.  

Chazal say that he never had a seminal emission [not bad for someone who probably got married at 84]. Semen is life. A seminal emission is death. Yaakov NEVER died and thus never had a seminal emission. 

When Yaakov is on his wedding night, explains the Ohr Hachaim, he wanted to get it over with quickly, lest some seed accidentally spill before the proper time. After he was finished, he didn't look at his kallah because he was so pure and didn't want to get pleasure for no reason. So he didn't see her until the morning. ויהי בבוקר והנה היא לאה. 

[This also resolves the question many ask: How could he kiss Rochel when he saw her and before they were married? This is only a question if he was a regular human being - but he wasn't. Also, it was before the Torah was given. And anyway, everybody knows the Kabbalistic explanation ... See the Be'er Moshe and others].  

   

Maaser, Yitzchak And Eisav

Esav tried to show Yitzchak how frum he was by asking how one takes maaser off of salt and straw. 

The problem is [pointed out the Lubavitcher Rebbe ztz"l, Melech Hamoshiach] - that doesn't prove his piety. It proves his ignorance!!  [Me saying "Melech Hamoshiach" proves MY ignorance. If you are ztz"l then you are not Melech Hamoshaich]. 

Here is a suggestion: Maybe Yitzchak knew that Eisav was putting on a show and trying to impress him with the very mitzva that Yitzchak instituted [see Rambam Melachim 9/1]. He just appreciated how hard he tried to honor his father by even feigning excessive piety. There is something to be said for trying to give one's parent nachas. He loved him because ציד בפיו - He know that he was trying to impress him by asking maaser questions.    

The following is how R' Simcha Zissel of Kelm understood the love:

ובזה נבא לבאר ענין אהבת יצחק לעשו... הנה יצחק ידע כי עשו בעל תאוה וגאוה ובעל קנאה, ויעקב חכם גדול והכל לאפס ותוהו אליו נגד החכמה... והנה יצחק הלך בדרכי אביו אברהם אבינו ע"ה לרחם על הרשעים, ומבלי להסיר עין ממקצת שבהם, ולכן אהב את עשו גם כן, ואין הכוונה לשלול את יעקב, רק ויאהב את עשו גם כן, וכל שכן את יעקב... ופירש הטעם לאהבתו כי ציד בפיו, כי מצא בו דבר טוב, שהיה מכבד את אביו וכו', ובשביל דבר טוב מעט זה היה לו מעט אהבה גם לבנו הגדול, ולכן בשביל מדה טובה זו בקש לברכו ולתת לו את אשר אהב, להתענג בעולם הזה... ויעקב בנו הקטן האהוב אצלו יותר ידע יצחק כי ללא כלום זאת בעיניו... ורצה לילך ממש בדרכי השי"ת לתת לרשע מאוויי נפשו שיתענג עליו בהבליו בעבור הטוב שמצא בו... (חלק ב סימן ריג)


And on the topic of Maaser and the Lubavitcher Rebbe: 




מצוות מעשר



מצווה להפריש תרומות ומעשרות מפירות העץ והאדמה הצומחים בארץ-ישראל: לתת "מעשר" ללוי ולתרום לכהן "תרומה" (וכן להפריש מעשר שני ומעשר עני). מצווה מן המובחר להפריש מהטוב, הנאה והמשובח שבפירות ובירקות.



נוסף לציווי התורה להפריש מתנובת השדה הצומחת בקרקע, חז"ל הרחיבו את הציווי גם לשאר הרווחים, וכן נפסק להלכה (קצושו"ע, לד): יתן אדם צדקה מעשר מכל הריוח שהרויח [חוץ ממה שמוציא לצרכי ביתו. ומצוה מן המובחר שיתן חוֹמש - עשרים אחוז]. ויש אומרים שגם חיוב זה מדאורייתא (כן משמע מספרי על הפסוק "עשר תעשר" - דברים, יד,כב. שו"ע יו"ד, רמט).



ולכאורה משתמעים הדברים גם מסיפור התורה בפרשתינו (יד,כ) על אברהם אבינו שבשובו מהנצחון האדיר במלחמה על ארבעת המלכים הגיבורים בראשות נמרוד המלך הרשע, הוא נתן למלכי צדק הכהן מעשר מהשלל שהוא לקח מהמלחמה, ומעשרותיו היו מכל מיני השלל ולא רק מהצומח, מכאן רמז למצוות מעשר מכל הרווחים הכספייים וכדומה, ולא רק מגידולי הקרקע.


למען דעת שהכל שלו



משמעות פנימית עמוקה למצווה זו של תרומות ומעשרות - הכרה והכרזה שהכל שייך להקב"ה, "לה' הארץ ומלואה":



הלא ימים רבים עמל האדם ביזע רב והשקיע כוחות וכספים חרש, זרע וכו', וכאשר סוף סוף הקרקע הניבה פירות, והשקעותיו הניבו הון ריווחי כלכלי, מצווהו ה' יתברך להפריש מקצת מרווחיו לכהן וללוי כו', או אז האדם עשוי לשאול מדוע? הלא אני עמלתי והרווחתי את כספי בצדק וביושר, מדוע איני יכול להנות מכל הרווחים לבדי?!



על היהודי להתבונן ולהכיר באמת: שכל הפעולות וההצלחות הנעשות בעולם אינן תלויות בהשקעה האישית של האדם, אלא הכל מאת ה', אף שהאדם השקיע את כל כוחותיו ומרצו, אין הרווחים פרי ההשקעה שלו, אלא הם בהחלטת הקב"ה בלבד, הקב"ה הוא שנתן לו את הריווח שהשיג, לכן כל הרווחים שייכים להקב"ה ולא לאדם.



זו המחשבה האמיתית שצריך לחשוב ולחוש בעת שמפרישים תרומות ומעשרות:



התרומות והמעשרות אינן מעשה חסד ולפנים משורת הדין, אלא ביצוע הדין והצדק: היות שהכל קנוי ושייך להקב"ה, כלומר גם החפצים הגשמיים עצמם שהאדם עמל וטרח בעמל יזע ויגע רבים - שייכים להקב"ה, וממילא התרומה לכהן וללוי במצוות ה' זה הדין והיושר, כי בעל הפירות האמיתי הלא הוא הקב"ה, ציווה להפרישם וליתנם.

תקנת המעשרות של יצחק



הרמב"ם (הלכות מלכים, ט,א) כותב שמצוות מעשר למדים מיצחק אבינו, "יצחק הפריש מעשר", כפי שחז"ל לומדים מדברי התורה "וימצא בשנה ההיא מאה שערים" (תולדות כו,יב) שיצחק הפריש מעשרות.



ולכאורה, שואל הראב"ד, הרי כבר אברהם אבינו הפריש מעשר ומדוע הרמב"ם תולה את המצווה ביצחק ולא באביו אברהם?



בלקוטי שיחות מסביר הרבי שבדברים אלו רומז לנו הרמב"ם על מהות מצוות המעשר:



בקבלה מוסבר שהשורש הרוחני של נשמות אברהם ויצחק היה שונה: נשמת אברהם היא ממדת החסד האלוקית, לכן הוא היה נדיב לב ועסק בהכנסת אורחים וחילק מזון לכל עובר ושב; ואילו נשמת יצחק היא ממדת הדין והגבורה האלוקית, שהיא מידה הנותנת לכל אחד לפי המידה והשיעור המגיע לו ולא יותר.



לכן מייחס הרמב"ם את מצוות המעשר דווקא ליצחק:



אילו תקנת המעשר היתה נלמדת מאברהם איש החסד, ניתן היה לחשוב שמעשה ההפרשה יש בה ממידה של גמילות חסד, כי הנתינה היא מעשה של לפנים משורת הדין; לכן מדגיש הרמב"ם שהמצווה יסודה ביצחק אבינו איש הדין והגבורה - ללמדינו שמעשר הוא מידת הדין: מן החובה והצדק לתת מעשרות ללוי וכו', כי זו הוראת הבעלים האמיתיים - הקב"ה.



אמרו חז"ל "מעשה אבות סימן לבנים", שהמעשים שעשו האבות מהווים סימן ונתינת כח לבנים, הם בני ישראל שלאורך כל הדורות: גם ממעשהו של יצחק יונקים כלל ישראל לדורות לתרום מעשר בהכרה ותחושה שזה הצדק והיושר.



[על הפסוק "ויזרע יצחק" שואל המדרש "וכי יצחק זרע דגן חס-ושלום"? והוא מסביר שהוא "זרע צדקה לעניים", כלומר המעשה הגשמי של זריעת הדגן נחשבה אצל יצחק למעשה אלוקי-רוחני של צדקה, היות שהכל מאתו יתברך].


הבדל בין המעשרות של אברהם ויצחק



יש הבדל מהותי בין הדברים מהם הפרישו אברהם ויצחק את המעשרות:



סיפור התורה על המעשר של אברהם היה על הפרשתו מהשלל שנטל בנצחונו במלחמה את ארבעת המלכים, ואילו הסיפור על יצחק היה על הפרשתו מהפירות והירקות שהוא בעצמו חרש זרע וגידל בשדותיו.



לכן יש חידוש גדול בהפרשה של יצחק שמתוך עמל ויגיעה ולא מנצחון המלחמה של אברהם:



ברור לכל בר-דעת שנצחון אברהם את הצבאות האדירים והעצומים של ארבעת המלכים היתה ביד ה' ובדרך ניסית ועל-טבעית, ונטילת השלל מהאוייבים לא הושגו בכוח הטבע הגשמי, אלא מאת ה', בצורה כזו של שלל ורווחים קל לאדם למלא את הוראות הקב"ה ולהפריש מעשרות, כי הוא מבין שהשלל לא הושג בזכות כשרונותיו ויכולותיו אלא מאת ה';



אך כשהרווחים מושגים בעמל ויגיעה אישית של האדם והוא לא ראה בגלוי יד אלוקית ניסית, עלול האדם להרהר בלבו ולחשוב: הרי אני הרווחתי את הרווחים בזכות כשרונותי ויכולותי, אם-כן מדוע עלי להפריש מעשרות,



כאן בא החידוש הגדול הנלמד מיצחק אבינו: יש להפריש מעשרות גם מרווחים שהושגו בעמל ויגיעה, כי הכל מאתו יתברך.



[רצוי להבהיר: היות שהאבות קיימו את כל התורה, ברור שאברהם הפריש מעשרות לפי דין התורה גם מגידולי הקרקע ורווחיו משאר כל עמלו, אך אנו עוסקים בדברים אותם התורה דואגת לציין בפירוש, שכן הם מבטאים מידה של סימן לאופי המיוחד של אישיות האבות, ובזה: מצויינת ההפרשה של המעשרות דווקא על יצחק].


פרטי מצוות מעשרות



לפי זה יובנו כמה פרטים במצוות תרומות ומעשרות:



1) בשונה מכמה ממתנות הכהונה שהן מוגדרת על חלקים מסויים, זרוע לחיים וקבה, הרי מצוות תרומות ומעשרות היא בעצם על כל היבול, כל דבר שנקטף יכול בפוטנציאל להוות תרומות ומעשרות, וכאשר מפרישים עשרה אחוז הרי אותם אחוזים הם כביכול שלוחי כל מאה האחוז ופוטרים ומטילים מהם את החובה להיתרם ללוי כו',



זאת אומרת שבעיקרון הכל שייך להקב"ה, אלא שכאשר מפרישים מעשר ותרומה אז מתקנים את הפירות, ובעל הפירות האמיתי - הקב"ה - מעביר את היתרה הנותרת לידינו.



2) ההלכה קובעת שאסור לאכול מהפירות והירקות לפני שמפרישים מהם לכהן וללוי, כי למרות בעלותינו החוקית על הפירות והירקות, באמת הם לא שלנו, הם בבעלות ה' יתברך, והוא מוסר לנו ומאשר לאכול מהם, רק אחר שנפריש תרומות ומעשרות ונתקן את פירותינו.



מקורות: הרב יוסף קרסיק עפ"י לקוטי שיחות חלק ה, עמוד 68. ועוד.

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Knowing One's Limits- My Financial Problems

I refrain from expressing opinions about chemistry. This is because I am quite ignorant about it. [Mr. Tarensdash tried to teach me but frankly it is hard to imagine that at that time anything could ever have interested me less. Maybe Korean basket weaving techniques]. I CERTAINLY wouldn't argue with a professor of chemistry. If I would that would be a proof of my ignorance of my ignorance and be an indication of hubris. A man must know his limits. 

Why then does any housewife from New Jersey or accountant from Chicago [just using random examples - it could be a housewife from Chicago and an accountant from New Jersey] feel free to express opinions about Torah matters which contradict the experts [i.e. the rabbis]? They should at least preface their blogs or comments with the words "People who have spent decades studying this topic disagree with me. I know very little. But I am going to express my uneducated opinion anyway. Odds are super-great that I will be writing things that are inaccurate or just plain false. But I am bored and have a computer and fingers that can make an up and down movement, so here goes...." 

It is an insult to one's intelligence to read a lot of what goes for "ideas" or "thoughts" on the Internet. People should have the respect and wisdom to accept their limits and the expertise of others. In English we have a word for this. "Humility".

OF COURSE, one may ask questions and one may even suggest ideas. Even a first grader. But it must be clear that one is not in the same league as the experts. 

One example: People say that the Chazon Ish [and other gedolei yisrael] wasn't a good Jew because he didn't celebrate Yom Ha-atzmaut. The Chazon Ish was decades upon decades of almost non-stop Torah Li-shma in all areas of Torah. So how does one have the gall [in Greek this is called "chutzpah"] to argue with him on theological matters when he is not even in the same stratosphere both intellectually and spiritually??

If someone wants to follow other opinions that is his prerogative. Free country. We are all products of our upbringing and environment and that is how we live and think. But that doesn't give one the right to present his path as the exclusive one because he feels that people a million times greater didn't "get it". What is the Chazon Ish supposed to do if he never learned in Mercaz Harav or Sha'alvim [nothing against either Yeshiva. Some of my best friends learned in Shaalvim and I wish I had, too. I also wish I had learned in Mercaz HaRav. Can someone get me a job teaching there?? I have had enough of running this hedge fund of mine and frankly, have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my millions. Any ideas? Maybe buy the Knicks? El Al? Starbucks?? THAT is an idea!!:-). I'll buy Starbucks. But what will I do with the millions of dollars I have left afterward??? Problems problems....] and thus never saw the light??

Bottom line: Respect for spiritual titans. An appreciation of one's limitations. Fear of G-d. 

And when those people who lack those qualities write sacrilegious, provocative and often blasphemous articles, ignore them and read something worthwhile instead - like a Chumash or Gemara. BELIEVE ME - one Ramban or Ohr Hachaim is worth more than everything many of these people write altogether.      

They often don't know what they are talking about but in order to preserve their false sense of self, they attempt to prove to the world how smart and insightful they are, how well they write and are often just looking for attention.     

Never in history have traditional values been so assailed on a mass scale as they are today. I generally refrain from calling out specific people but maybe I should be more liberal in my approach and set forth the truth while debunking all of the nonsense, heresy and cynicism.  

Life is short and we must spend our limited time spreading light so I will try to focus on that. But we must not forget about all of the insidious ideas and people out there lest we get caught in their traps. 

Why Be Happy?

Why should we be happy? 

We should be happy because the essential nature of all of creation is happiness. That is the defining characteristic of the entire cosmos. Hashem is [כביכול] happy and he imbued everything with His Divine joy. 

Sometimes life gets tough so in order to stave off feelings of melancholy we create hopes for a better future. "My spouse will change", "My buuby will get better", "I will pay back my debts", "My child will start doing better at school" etc. etc. All too often these hopes are proven false.

Now what??

NOW - return to the real reason that one should be happy. Namely, because existence is happy. 

This is a MILLION DOLLAR passage. Read it and rejoice. 

  כשם שההויה המוחשית היא טבועה על התנועה התדירית, כן ההויה הרעיונית טבועה היא על השמחה הבלתי פוסקת, שמח הוא העולם, שמחה היא ההויה הפנימית כולה. מעכבים חלקיים משביתים תנועה חלקית, ומעכבים כדוגמתם בעולם הפנימי משביתים את השמחה. יורד הוא רוח החיים מתנועת שמחתו העצמית, ע"י ההשבתות של אסורו בעבודת החיים הטבעיים הגלמיים, משלים הוא את חוסר שמחתו בתקוות אושר, שהוא מציירם לפי מצבו, הולך הרוח ומתגדל, ומכיר ביותר מדי גדלו, את האפסיות שבתקוות הללו, ונקודת שמחתו יורדת, עד שהוא מתגדל כ"כ, עד שהוא מכיר שאין כל סבה להשבתת השמחה המקורית, השמחה ההויית, שמחת מעון עולמים, ואינינו נזקק עוד לרקם ציורי תקוות נובלים. וצדיקים ישמחו יעלצו לפני ד' וישישו בשמחה.

The upshot is that you don't need a REASON to be happy just as you don't need a REASON breathe. You just do so naturally. So too, you are just happy because that is the reality of your soul.

Angels?

On the pasuk וישלח יעקב מלאכים the medrash offers two explanations: 1] Real angels. 2] Human messengers. 

If they were angels then why did Yaakov find it necessary to send supernatural beings to Eisav? 

If they were human then why does the pasuk employ the term "מלאכים" which normally means angels? 

The Pleasure Of Comprehension

I read this in a book:

Some scientists believe that the more fluently a person can process a piece of information, the more pleasure it produces. When a song or a story or an argument achieves limerence [harmony] with the internal models of the brain, then that synchronicity produces a warm swelling of happiness.

Compare with this passage from the פחד יצחק.

PIL-EI PLA-OS!!

Monday, November 27, 2017

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חנה בת יפה

Chani Veinrot, a young mother with cancer who is in critical condition.

Please say these tehillim [at least some]:


א

א אַשְׁרֵי הָאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר לֹא הָלַךְ בַּעֲצַת רְשָׁעִים וּבְדֶרֶךְ חַטָּאִים לֹא עָמָד וּבְמוֹשַׁב לֵצִים לֹא יָשָׁב: ב כִּי אִם בְּתוֹרַת יְהוָה חֶפְצוֹ וּבְתוֹרָתוֹ יֶהְגֶּה יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה: ג וְהָיָה כְּעֵץ שָׁתוּל עַל פַּלְגֵי מָיִם אֲשֶׁר פִּרְיוֹ יִתֵּן בְּעִתּוֹ וְעָלֵהוּ לֹא יִבּוֹל וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר יַעֲשֶׂה יַצְלִיחַ: ד לֹא כֵן הָרְשָׁעִים כִּי אִם כַּמֹּץ אֲשֶׁר תִּדְּפֶנּוּ רוּחַ: ה עַל כֵּן לֹא יָקֻמוּ רְשָׁעִים בַּמִּשְׁפָּט וְחַטָּאִים בַּעֲדַת צַדִּיקִים: ו כִּי יוֹדֵעַ יְהוָה דֶּרֶךְ צַדִּיקִים וְדֶרֶךְ רְשָׁעִים תֹּאבֵד:
ו

א לַמְנַצֵּחַ בִּנְגִינוֹת עַל הַשְּׁמִינִית מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד: ב יְהוָה אַל בְּאַפְּךָ תוֹכִיחֵנִי וְאַל בַּחֲמָתְךָ תְיַסְּרֵנִי: ג חָנֵּנִי יְהוָה כִּי אֻמְלַל אָנִי רְפָאֵנִי יְהוָה כִּי נִבְהֲלוּ עֲצָמָי: ד וְנַפְשִׁי נִבְהֲלָה מְאֹד (ואת) וְאַתָּה יְהוָה עַד מָתָי: השׁוּבָה יְהוָה חַלְּצָה נַפְשִׁי הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי לְמַעַן חַסְדֶּךָ: ו כִּי אֵין בַּמָּוֶת זִכְרֶךָ בִּשְׁאוֹל מִי יוֹדֶה לָּךְ: ז יָגַעְתִּי בְּאַנְחָתִי אַשְׂחֶה בְכָל לַיְלָה מִטָּתִי בְּדִמְעָתִי עַרְשִׂי אַמְסֶה: ח עָשְׁשָׁה מִכַּעַס עֵינִי עָתְקָה בְּכָל צוֹרְרָי: טסוּרוּ מִמֶּנִּי כָּל פֹּעֲלֵי אָוֶן כִּי שָׁמַע יְהוָה קוֹל בִּכְיִי: י שָׁמַע יְהוָה תְּחִנָּתִי יְהוָה תְּפִלָּתִי יִקָּח: יא יֵבֹשׁוּ וְיִבָּהֲלוּ מְאֹד כָּל אֹיְבָי יָשֻׁבוּ יֵבֹשׁוּ רָגַע:
יג

א לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד: ב עַד אָנָה יְהוָה תִּשְׁכָּחֵנִי נֶצַח עַד אָנָה תַּסְתִּיר אֶת פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי: ג עַד אָנָה אָשִׁית עֵצוֹת בְּנַפְשִׁי יָגוֹן בִּלְבָבִי יוֹמָם עַד אָנָה יָרוּם אֹיְבִי עָלָי: ד הַבִּיטָה עֲנֵנִי יְהוָה אֱלֹהָי הָאִירָה עֵינַי פֶּן אִישַׁן הַמָּוֶת: ה פֶּן יֹאמַר אֹיְבִי יְכָלְתִּיו צָרַי יָגִילוּ כִּי אֶמּוֹט: ו וַאֲנִי בְּחַסְדְּךָ בָטַחְתִּי יָגֵל לִבִּי בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ אָשִׁירָה לַיהוָה כִּי גָמַל עָלָי:
כ

א לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד: ב יַעַנְךָ יְהוָה בְּיוֹם צָרָה יְשַׂגֶּבְךָ שֵׁם אֱלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב: ג יִשְׁלַח עֶזְרְךָ מִקֹּדֶשׁ וּמִצִּיּוֹן יִסְעָדֶךָּ: ד יִזְכֹּר כָּל מִנְחֹתֶךָ וְעוֹלָתְךָ יְדַשְּׁנֶה סֶלָה: ה יִתֶּן לְךָ כִלְבָבֶךָ וְכָל עֲצָתְךָ יְמַלֵּא: ו נְרַנְּנָה בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ וּבְשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ נִדְגֹּל יְמַלֵּא יְהוָה כָּל מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֶיךָ: ז עַתָּה יָדַעְתִּי כִּי הוֹשִׁיעַ יְהוָה מְשִׁיחוֹ יַעֲנֵהוּ מִשְּׁמֵי קָדְשׁוֹ בִּגְבֻרוֹת יֵשַׁע יְמִינוֹ: ח אֵלֶּה בָרֶכֶב וְאֵלֶּה בַסּוּסִים וַאֲנַחְנוּ בְּשֵׁם יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ נַזְכִּיר: ט הֵמָּה כָּרְעוּ וְנָפָלוּ וַאֲנַחְנוּ קַּמְנוּ וַנִּתְעוֹדָד: י יְהוָה הוֹשִׁיעָה הַמֶּלֶךְ יַעֲנֵנוּ בְיוֹם קָרְאֵנוּ:
קב

א תְּפִלָּה לְעָנִי כִי יַעֲטֹף וְלִפְנֵי יְהוָה יִשְׁפֹּךְ שִׂיחוֹ: ב יְהוָה שִׁמְעָה תְפִלָּתִי וְשַׁוְעָתִי אֵלֶיךָ תָבוֹא: ג אַל תַּסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי בְּיוֹם צַר לִי הַטֵּה אֵלַי אָזְנֶךָ בְּיוֹם אֶקְרָא מַהֵר עֲנֵנִי: ד כִּי כָלוּ בְעָשָׁן יָמָי וְעַצְמוֹתַי כְּמוֹקֵד נִחָרוּ: ה הוּכָּה כָעֵשֶׂב וַיִּבַשׁ לִבִּי כִּי שָׁכַחְתִּי מֵאֲכֹל לַחְמִי: ו מִקּוֹל אַנְחָתִי דָּבְקָה עַצְמִי לִבְשָׂרִי: ז דָּמִיתִי לִקְאַת מִדְבָּר הָיִיתִי כְּכוֹס חֳרָבוֹת: ח שָׁקַדְתִּי וָאֶהְיֶה כְּצִפּוֹר בּוֹדֵד עַל גָּג: ט כָּל הַיּוֹם חֵרְפוּנִי אוֹיְבָי מְהוֹלָלַי בִּי נִשְׁבָּעוּ: י כִּי אֵפֶר כַּלֶּחֶם אָכָלְתִּי וְשִׁקֻּוַי בִּבְכִי מָסָכְתִּי: יא מִפְּנֵי זַעַמְךָ וְקִצְפֶּךָ כִּי נְשָׂאתַנִי וַתַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי: יב יָמַי כְּצֵל נָטוּי וַאֲנִי כָּעֵשֶׂב אִיבָשׁ: יג וְאַתָּה יְהוָה לְעוֹלָם תֵּשֵׁב וְזִכְרְךָ לְדֹר וָדֹר: יד אַתָּה תָקוּם תְּרַחֵם צִיּוֹן כִּי עֵת לְחֶנְנָהּ כִּי בָא מוֹעֵד: טו כִּי רָצוּ עֲבָדֶיךָ אֶת אֲבָנֶיהָ וְאֶת עֲפָרָהּ יְחֹנֵנוּ: טז וְיִירְאוּ גוֹיִם אֶת שֵׁם יְהוָה וְכָל מַלְכֵי הָאָרֶץ אֶת כְּבוֹדֶךָ: יז כִּי בָנָה יְהוָה צִיּוֹן נִרְאָה בִּכְבוֹדוֹ: יח פָּנָה אֶל תְּפִלַּת הָעַרְעָר וְלֹא בָזָה אֶת תְּפִלָּתָם: יט תִּכָּתֶב זֹאת לְדוֹר אַחֲרוֹן וְעַם נִבְרָא יְהַלֶּל יָהּ: כ כִּי הִשְׁקִיף מִמְּרוֹם קָדְשׁוֹ יְהוָה מִשָּׁמַיִם אֶל אֶרֶץ הִבִּיט: כא לִשְׁמֹעַ אֶנְקַת אָסִיר לְפַתֵּחַ בְּנֵי תְמוּתָה: כב לְסַפֵּר בְּצִיּוֹן שֵׁם יְהוָה וּתְהִלָּתוֹ בִּירוּשָׁלִָם: כג בְּהִקָּבֵץ עַמִּים יַחְדָּו וּמַמְלָכוֹת לַעֲבֹד אֶת יְהוָה: כד עִנָּה בַדֶּרֶךְ (כחו) כֹּחִי קִצַּר יָמָי: כה אֹמַר אֵלִי אַל תַּעֲלֵנִי בַּחֲצִי יָמָי בְּדוֹר דּוֹרִים שְׁנוֹתֶיךָ: כו לְפָנִים הָאָרֶץ יָסַדְתָּ וּמַעֲשֵׂה יָדֶיךָ שָׁמָיִם: כז הֵמָּה יֹאבֵדוּ וְאַתָּה תַעֲמֹד וְכֻלָּם כַּבֶּגֶד יִבְלוּ כַּלְּבוּשׁ תַּחֲלִיפֵם וְיַחֲלֹפוּ: כח וְאַתָּה הוּא וּשְׁנוֹתֶיךָ לֹא יִתָּמּוּ: כט בְּנֵי עֲבָדֶיךָ יִשְׁכּוֹנוּ וְזַרְעָם לְפָנֶיךָ יִכּוֹן:
קל

א שִׁיר הַמַּעֲלוֹת מִמַּעֲמַקִּים קְרָאתִיךָ יְהוָה: ב אֲדֹנָי שִׁמְעָה בְקוֹלִי תִּהְיֶינָה אָזְנֶיךָ קַשֻּׁבוֹת לְקוֹל תַּחֲנוּנָי: גאִם עֲוֹנוֹת תִּשְׁמָר יָהּ אֲדֹנָי מִי יַעֲמֹד: ד כִּי עִמְּךָ הַסְּלִיחָה לְמַעַן תִּוָּרֵא: ה קִוִּיתִי יְהוָה קִוְּתָה נַפְשִׁי וְלִדְבָרוֹ הוֹחָלְתִּי: ו נַפְשִׁי לַאדֹנָי מִשֹּׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר שֹׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר: ז יַחֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶל יְהוָה כִּי עִם יְהוָה הַחֶסֶד וְהַרְבֵּה עִמּוֹ פְדוּת: ח וְהוּא יִפְדֶּה אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל מִכֹּל עֲוֹנֹתָיו:

What Truly Matters To Hashem

Speaking of high school [as I did in the next to last post] - there were a lot of things they never taught me. One of them was that it is INFINITELY more important to be a kind person than it is to know algebra [or maybe they did and I just wasn't listening]. The prevailing philosophy was that just about the most important thing is good grades.

FALSE. 

Good grades meant next to nothing and still mean next to nothing. But that will not stop our educational system from ramming into innocent kids heads that grades is life. That - among other reasons - is why there is such a high percentage of depression among young people. 

Yirmiyahu Hanavi said it best:

כֹּה אָמַר יְ-ה-וָ-ה אַל יִתְהַלֵּל חָכָם בְּחָכְמָתוֹ וְאַל יִתְהַלֵּל הַגִּבּוֹר בִּגְבוּרָתוֹ אַל יִתְהַלֵּל עָשִׁיר בְּעָשְׁרוֹ. כִּי אִם בְּזֹאת יִתְהַלֵּל הַמִּתְהַלֵּל הַשְׂכֵּל וְיָדֹעַ אוֹתִי כִּי אֲנִי יְהוָה עֹשֶׂה חֶסֶד מִשְׁפָּט וּצְדָקָה בָּאָרֶץ כִּי בְאֵלֶּה חָפַצְתִּי נְאֻם יְ-ה-וָ-ה.

In other words - G-d couldn't care LESS what a person gets on his stupid S.A.T.'S.
And also Micha Ha-navi:

הִגִּיד לְךָ אָדָם מַה טּוֹב וּמָה יְהוָה דּוֹרֵשׁ מִמְּךָ כִּי אִם עֲשׂוֹת מִשְׁפָּט וְאַהֲבַת חֶסֶד וְהַצְנֵעַ לֶכֶת עִם אֱ-לֹהֶיךָ.

We gave the world Tanach and then virtually ignore many of its messages. 

One act of kindness is worth more than a thousand perfect scores on school tests. Do we teach our kids this? 

Read this article:

"When your kid gets straight As, it’s cause for a celebratory dinner out. When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers from the bleachers. But when that same kid helps an elderly neighbor with yard work, is there any kind of fanfare?

Probably not. And that may be behind a new survey that finds 80 percent of youth say their parents care more about their achievements and happiness than about whether they are being kind.

“We are hyper-focused on our own kid’s happiness,” says Rick Weissbourd, who conducted the study at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. “I wasn’t surprised that happiness was ranked the highest, but I was surprised that achievement was ranked so high.”

To understand children's perception of what parents value, Weissbourd and his colleagues surveyed 10,000 children from 33 school districts. They asked the students to rank the importance of “caring for others,” “achieving at a high level,” or “being a happy person (feeling good most of the time).” They also rated how they believed their friends and parents perceive these values.

Students said that achievement was the most important value and thought their peers would agree. More importantly, students reported that their parents appreciated achievement much more than happiness or kindness. They were three times as likely to agree with the statement “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member.”

This means kids think much less about being nice than they do about getting an A on a test, winning a swim meet, or being best camper. Yet, all this focus on accomplishment doesn’t lead to content kids.

“The achievement pressure can have a bunch of negative results,” says Weissbourd, who is co-director of the Making Caring Common project. “I’m concerned that it makes kids less happy.”

Weissbourd says living up to this standard causes stress and depression and can lead to bad behaviors, such as cheating. Studies have found that 50 percent of students admit to cheating and 75 percent say they have copied someone else’s homework, possibly in an attempt to live up to expectations.

But, teaching children about caring can enrich their lives.


“I think that the irony is that when kids are caring and really able to tune in and take responsibility for other people, they are going to have better relationships,” he says. “And those relationships are probably the most important aspect of happiness.

------------

And we imbibed these attitudes from the general culture. Let us return to our true values. [This doesn't mean that children shouldn't be encouraged to excel in their studies. There are intellectual and emotional and even at times spiritual benefits to such an enterprise. But it must be kept within proportion].

Link

This is a very accurate description of current events. 

Talmudic Academy - It's About Time!!

I went to a high school whose name included the words "Talmudic Academy'. That is interesting, given the fact that most of my friends and I didn't really learn all that much Talmud there. It was taught but our minds and hearts were elsewhere. This is the reason that boys went through four years of four hours a day of Talmud study and miraculously didn't achieve the slightest capacity to read a page of Talmud and complete ignorance as to the vast majority of Talmudic laws and concepts. 

Part of this was due to the fact that there were many other influences in our lives that conflicted with our Talmud study such as pop culture, sports, girls, drugs etc. etc. [it was an all boys school but somehow people still found a way to be in contact with girls although Baruch Hashem, I was not. I also never used drugs. Partially because I had no interest and partially because nobody ever offered me and partially because I had very little money to spend. Things haven't changed. I am still not offered drugs, I still have no interest in using them and quite often my pockets are filled only with dirty tissues]. We were also taught both explicitly and tacitly that other subjects were no less if not more important than Talmud. We were also young and immature and telling us that fulfillment of the mitzva of Talmud Torah was central to our role in this world was not an argument that would have convinced many. There were other reasons as well. One is that Talmud is HARD. Like - one long run-on sentence for a page and a half [i.e. no punctuation or vowels for that matter], a text composed in Aramiac and Hebrew of which we knew little, concepts completely foreign to our daily experiences, lots of ADD and ADHD which went undiagnosed because nobody heard of them yet, etc. etc.. 

I don't know if today things are better. I have been out of there for over 30 years. I am guessing that with the advent of the smartphone and other modern inventions designed to destroy one's attention span and ability to grasp abstract concepts, that things today aren't much better if not worse. Yet, parents still pay 25k in many places for their kids to learn so very little. Go figure.

Anyway - a few of my classmates ended being QUITE ACCOMPLISHED Talmudists. One was recently successfully tested on 1,500 blatt [which is really 3000 pages because each blatt is two sided] gemara, Rashi and TOSFOS [!!!!]. Think of how many questions and answers there are on that many pages. Think of the complexity. WOW!!!

So HAGAON HARAV Pesach Skolnick Shlita - KOL HAKAVOD!!!! May you continue mastering Torah with simcha and in good health and prosperity.

Some other classmates made ZILLIONS of dollars but they are not nearly as rich as HaGaon Rav Pesach. [Some of the wealthy are also miserly-wealthy which is an illness in and of itself]. He is by far the richest. [I have two other classmates I can think of who are massive Talmidei Chachomim and spread Torah to many students. Also SUPER-WEALTHY].    

And as for little me who has learned such a pitiful amount of Torah in his life - may I begin to get SERIOUS about my Talmud study!!!!! It's about time.     

Business With Unkosher Food Items

Rabbi Doniel Neustadt 

In order to protect a Jew as much as possible from inadvertently eating non-kosher foods, the Torah restricts our accessibility to food items that are not kosher. It is strongly recommended, for example, not to store unmarked edible non-kosher food in one’s house for a lengthy period of time[1], since one can easily forget that the food is not kosher and consume it by mistake[2]. Moreover, the Torah forbids “conducting business” with all non-kosher meat, fowl or fish, including kosher-species animals that are treifos (rendered non-kosher due to terminal illness) or neveilos (rendered non-kosher at the time of slaughter), even if they are not stored in one’s home or business, and even if they are clearly marked as non-kosher. This prohibition, called issur sechorah b’dvorim ha-asurim, is the subject of this discussion[3].

“Conducting business” means that it is forbidden to own non-kosher foods with the intention of using them in a business transaction. But merely dealing with non-kosher food without owning them is permitted. Indeed, it is even permitted to own non-kosher foods and benefit from them if they are not being used in a “business transaction.” Thus the following rules apply[4] :
It is forbidden to buy non-kosher food in order to sell it for a profit, use it to repay a debt or give it as a gift. All of these activities are considered “business transactions.”
It is forbidden to accept non-kosher foods as collateral for a loan.
It is permitted to buy non-kosher items in order to feed one’s non-Jewish workers, but it is forbidden to own or raise non-kosher animals which will be used as food for the non-Jewish workers, even if they are designated as such.
It is permitted to transport non-kosher foods or to be an employee of a store or restaurant that sells non-kosher food. See following Note.

Note: There are certain non-kosher foods, such as cooked meat and milk mixtures, chametz on Pesach and non-kosher wines[5], which are assur b’han’ah, a much stricter restriction than issur sechorah. While issur sechorah forbids only “business transactions” as explained earlier, assur b’han’ah forbids all types of benefit, including such “non-business transactions” as feeding one’s employees or getting paid to transport those foods. In addition, there is a separate prohibition against conducting business with fruits or vegetables grown in Eretz Yisrael during the shemitah year. These cases are not the subject of this Discussion.

Question: Are there any non-kosher foods that are not included in issur sechorah?

Discussion: Yes, there are several non-kosher items with which it is permitted to conduct business. These include the following:

1.Non-kosher fats of a kosher-species animal, even if the animal was a neveilah or a treifah[6].

2.Blood of a kosher-species animal, even if the animal was a neveilah or a treifah[7].

3.Eiver min ha-chai (a limb of a kosher-species animal which was severed while the animal was alive[8]).

4.Wormy fruits[9].

5.All non-kosher items which are Biblically permitted but have been forbidden by the Rabbis[10], such as unsupervised cheese, bishul akum and chalav akum[11].

6.Food items which are manufactured and designated for animal consumption, i.e., dog food, even if the food is edible for human consumption[12].

7.Live horses, donkeys, camels[13] or household pets[14].

8.Non-food items, such as furs, leathers or soaps[15].

Question: If one already bought or owns non-kosher food, may he sell it for a profit or must he get rid of the items immediately?

Discussion: The answer depends on the exact circumstances: If he bought the food for the purpose of turning a profit, he must sell all of his stock immediately, even if it will cause him a loss. He is not, however, required, to discard the items outright and suffer a total loss. But if he did not buy the non-kosher food in order to profit, but it just so happened that some non-kosher food came his way, he may sell it for a profit. Let us explain:

Shulchan Aruch rules that if a hunter happened to net kosher and non-kosher animals or fish together, he may sell the non-kosher items for a profit. This is permitted because the non-kosher items came to him “by chance,” unintentionally. Similarly, an animal that was rendered non-kosher during the slaughtering process may be sold, since the non-kosher item came to him “by chance.” In addition, it is permitted for one who is owed money by a non-Jew to foreclose on non-kosher food items so that he may collect his debt, since this, too, is considered as if the food came to him unintentionally. Similarly, one who inherited or received non-kosher food items as a gift may sell those items for a profit or give them as a gift.

In all of these cases, the non-kosher food must be sold immediately, without delay, even if one would generate a greater profit by waiting for the market price to rise[16]. One is not, however, required to sell it below current market value[17].

Based on this principle, many poskim[18] rule that if one is offered a deal in which he must buy non-kosher items together with permitted ones, he may buy the entire package, since the primary purpose of the deal is to buy the kosher items and the prohibited items came to him “by chance.” Therefore: If a customer will order from a supplier only if the supplier will sell him non-kosher items along with kosher ones, the supplier is allowed to sell the non-kosher items on the customer’s terms, since this is considered “by chance.[19]” But it is clearly forbidden to own a store or a business that stocks up on prohibited items routinely in order to have them on hand for customers, even if not stocking them would cause the business to fail[20].

Note: The leniency of conducting business with non-kosher food that came “by chance” applies only to food items which are included in issur sechorah. Food items mentioned earlier which are assur b’han’ah may not be bought or sold under any circumstances.

Question: Is one required to use only kosher soap when washing himself?

Discussion: There is a view that prohibits the use of non-kosher soap for washing, based on the Talmudic[21] principle of sichah k’shesiyah, loosely translated to mean that anointing oneself with fat [on Yom Kippur] is forbidden just like one is forbidden to drink [on Yom Kippur]. According to this view, the same principal would apply to any non-kosher material being used to wash oneself[22]. But many other poskim disagree and rule that sichah k’shesiyah does not apply to soap which is unfit for consumption[23]. While the Mishnah Berurah[24] rules in accordance with the latter view, he nevertheless recommends using kosher soap when it is readily available. Nowadays, when body soap is rarely made from animal fat, virtually all body soaps are kosher and the term “kosher soap” has been rendered obsolete.

1. See Pischei Teshuvah, Y.D. 57:22 who defines “lengthy period of time” as (at least) longer than three weeks.

2. See Peri Megadim (Sifsei), Y.D. 84:18, based on Rama, Y.D. 57:18, Mishnah Berurah 677:19 and Badei ha-Shulchan, Y.D. 87:8.

3. The Rishonim debate whether the prohibition of conducting business with non-kosher food items is min ha-Torah or mi-derabanan. The opinion of most poskim is that doing business with non kosher food items is forbidden min ha-Torah; see Tosafos (Pesachim 23a); Rosh (Bava Kama 79b), Taz, Y.D. 117:1, Noda b’Yehudah, Tanina Y.D. 62 and Teshuvos Chasam Sofer, Y.D. 105 and 108.

4. Based on rulings of Rama, Y.D. 117:1, Shach 3, Aruch ha-Shulchan 19 and Igros Moshe, Y.D. 1:51.

5. See The Daily Halachah Discussion on 3 Teves whether or not it is permitted to buy non-kosher wine to give as a gift.

6. This is permitted since the Torah explicitly allows conducting business with fat; Rama, Y.D. 117:1.

7. Pischei Teshuvah 117:1 quoting Peri Toar, Noda B’yehudah, Tanina, Y.D. 62 and Chasam Sofer 106—since the Torah compares blood to water. While other poskim do not agree with this leniency, see Divrei Chayim 2:27, nowadays when blood is not considered as a food item, all poskim agree that it is permitted b’schorah; see Shoel u’Meishiv 3:3-30.

8. Pischei Teshuvah 117:1 quoting the Chasam Sofer.Other poskim disagree with this leniency.

9. Many poskim quoted in Darchei Teshuvah 117:6. A minority opinion disagrees with this leniency; see Chelkas Binyomin 117:2.

10. Y.D. 117:1.

11. See Kaf ha-Chayim 117:77.

12. Igros Moshe, Y.D. 2:37.

13. This is permitted since these animals are used for work or play and not for food; Shach, Y.D. 117:1.

14. Darchei Teshuvah 117:10; Chelkas Binyomin 17:3.

15. Darchei Teshuvah 117:12.

16. Rama, Y.D. 117:1.

17. Shach, Y.D. 117:11; Chochmas Adam 69:8. See Kaf ha-Chayim 117:40 for more details.

18. Bach, Taz, Y.D. 117:4; Peri Chadash 117:5; Maharsham 1:126; Aruch ha-Shulchan 117:18 and 26.

19. Aruch ha-Shulchan 117:27.

20. Consensus of the poskim; see Darchei Teshuvah 117:46; Mishpatei Uziel, Y.D. 2:15; Igros Moshe, Y.D. 2:38; Minchas Yitzchak 3:93; Kaf ha-Chayim 117:67, rejecting the ruling of the Aruch ha-Shulchan 117:27 who attempts to justify those who conduct their business in this manner.

21. Yoma 76b.

22. Shach, Y.D. 117 in Nekudos ha-Kesef.

23. Peri Chadash 117:4, Aruch ha-Shulchan 117:29: Kaf ha-Chayim, O.C. 326:45; Yechaveh Da’as 4:43.

24. Beiur Halachah 326:10, s.v. bishar. This is also the opinion of Darchei Teshuvah 117:33.

[torah.org]

Scam Artists And Sex Education

By Carl Trueman

One of the oddest aspects of the sexual revolution is its tendency to present the problem as the solution. For instance, during the 1980s, the least acceptable response to the AIDS crisis was the promotion of abstinence. Promiscuity was held to be normative, opponents of it were decried as idiotic and prudish, and any acceptable solution had to be built on these foundational truths.



Thirty years on, the failed pattern continues. Britain's Daily Telegraph reports that researchers are calling for sex education to reflect the increasing range of sexual activity in which young people are engaged. The change in sexual habits is presented not as a problem, but as a reality to be accommodated. This makes perfect sense, given the divorce of sexual activity from any kind of moral framework or personal narrative. As sex is essentially amoral (except when consent is absent—and then it is only the violation of consent, not the sex, that is immoral), so the education that surrounds it is amoral, too.



The proposal raises certain issues, which it fails to address in a satisfactory manner. Without providing any details, the Telegraph implies that these changes in behavior must bring with them new risks—hence the need for sex education to change with the times. And the change, as always, is couched in terms of the technical, not the moral. It must therefore be toward the more graphic (read: explicit and amoral). The article’s acknowledgment of the role of Internet pornography in all this merely states the obvious.



Yet why should sex education be “tailored to the realities of young people’s experiences,” as the article says? Why not address instead the factors that determine those experiences, by putting sex back in its rightful place, within an appropriate moral framework? The “tailoring” of sex education to patterns of behavior divorced from morality is one of the things that brought on the current situation. The problem is, by definition, not part of the solution, and to claim otherwise is to perpetuate the scam that is the sexual revolution. It promised freedom; it has brought us a moral and social deficit, evident in broken families and damaged bodies.



The problems of sexual activity divorced from morality are implicitly acknowledged by those who are involved in maintaining the myth of sex’s amorality. The spate of sexual harassment accusations in Hollywood and beyond provide ample evidence that sex is not merely recreational, but has deeper significance. And then, strange to tell, a recent report on the development of sex robots highlights the fact that clients of prostitutes often want to pretend that the sex occurs in the context of a real relationship. Some kind of narrative, however false, somehow makes the act more satisfying. Thus, to be most effective, sex robots will need to be programmed with personal histories. This is surely testimony to an innate human need to set sexual activity within a larger relational framework. And to set it within a larger relational framework is to grant it a moral status.



Modern sex education keeps failing to deliver on its promises—indeed, it keeps plunging society into deeper and deeper problems—and it keeps proposing as the solution more and more of the same. Sexual assault is heinous, and even the clients of prostitutes want something more significant than an anonymous encounter. The notion that sex can be pursued as recreation, isolated from a larger relational and moral context, is an obvious scam. But we keep getting mugged by reality.



It has often been observed that the victims of scams have a remarkable ability to ignore the obvious fact that, hey, they have fallen for a confidence trick. To accept that one has been conned out of a sum of money and thereby cut one’s losses may be more difficult than to keep giving the con artist more, in the hope that somehow the scheme is not a fraud after all. So it is with the scam known as the sexual revolution. It has institutionalized irresponsibility to such an extent, and demonized its critics so effectively, that even as it falls apart under the weight of its own contradictions, we keep pouring cultural capital into the same old schemes, hoping that all will turn out well in the end.



The hypocrisy of a Hollywood that lauds Roman Polanski while damning Kevin Spacey is just one example of how chaotic and confused our culture has become. This latest sex education proposal is another. At some point somebody will need to acknowledge what is going on. But that, alas, is not the psychology of those who fall for plausible grifters and attractive scams. For the time being at least, the problem will continue to be presented as the solution.

Pets

When a person takes drugs or imbibes in the drinking of alcohol, it is not for no reason. Everything we do is for a reason. A person uses and abuses drugs because he feels a void. The job of the person is to find what that void is and thereby get to the root of the addiction. 

People often eat because they feel an emotional void. We don't only eat out of hunger. If we did then we would eat faaaaar less. 

It's estimated that 78 million dogs and 85.8 million cats are owned in the United States. Approximately 44% of all households in the United States have a dog, and 35% have a cat. What about other pets such as parakeets or fish? Many, many more. I am not here to speak against owning pets. It's a free country. What I would like to understand is what void are people filling by having these pets. Pets cost a lot of money and take up a lot of time. People value their money and many value their time as well. Yet, they are willing to expend much of both on a pet. So my question is - What is the void people are trying to fill? What are they missing in life that they fill in by having a pet? And do the pets really fill that emotional void?

I am sure that there are different reasons for different people. It would be interesting in discovering them in order to better understand the human psyche. 


 

Anger

When someone gets angry, screams, gets read in the face, asserts their personality and authority, it seems that they are demonstrating power and strength. The opposite is the truth. It really comes from a place of weakness. The person feels weak and maybe threatened so as a defense they exhibit anger which seems to show power but it is really an indication of weakness. 

When someone get angry they are not developing new abilities or strengths but just bring out the worst of themselves and make themselves less lovable not only to others but to themselves.

Do you get angry? When? Why? how do you feel afterward? Does it make things better? Temporarily? Permanently?  Is you anger internal or clearly evident? 


Sunday, November 26, 2017

Be Engaged In The Joy Of Others - Why I Don't Attend Funerals - When Funerals Are Fun - Where To Get Free Food

I have made numerous smachot Baruch Hashem and together with the joy I felt there was also an element of hurt. Namely, by all of the people who were invited but didn't show up or who showed up, said their perfunctory mazel tov and quickly exited. [BTW, I don't attend funerals because I figure - he's not coming to mine so why should I go to his?? I made that up. I have gone to many funerals. It isn't much fun unless it is a terrorist but a big mitzva and stark reminder where we are all going]. I understand that there are a lot of smachot and many, many different things to attend to in life but still there is something to the wonderful feeling of people who are truly partners in your simcha. Not only that, but when a person spends so much valuable time and precious money [often borrowed] on making a simcha and then he sees that people are not into it and even see it as a burden [already making their escape plans minutes after entering - I know because I do it myself] it is not the best feeling. I understand and understood that it has nothing to do with me, I shouldn't take it personally and that people are just busy-busy-busy but still...... It was especially bothersome to see how much effort I made to attend someone elses simcha but when it was my time he didn't make any effort at all to attend. Of course, one can be מלמד זכות and one should be מלמד זכות - but there is a valuable lesson to be learned.  

One avoda is to feel the pain of others. A much more challenging avoda is feeling the simcha of others. Showing up, staying for a while and being fully engaged. When I attend a wedding and see a man dancing the night away and then attend another wedding and the same man is either eating, talking or texting the entire time, I wonder what changed. The answer is that one wedding was that of a relative or close friend while another was of someone more distant. I understand that human nature is to be more involved in a simcha that a person feels closer to but we are supposed to transcend our innate natures. What is the Baal Simcha guilty that you don't feel so close to him or care so much that his son is having a Bar Mitzva or a wedding??  

I recently went to a Bris where there was a nice crowd for the actual Bris part but probably three quarters of the people left before the seuda. The tables were filled by [among others] poor people who frequent simcha halls for the free food. But very, very few friends [relatively speaking]. 

So we can't all attend every simcha around. But we can try to attend as many as we can and when we are there to try to make the Baalei Simcha feel that we are with them in their time of joy. 

There is little joy in celebrating alone. 

Friday, November 24, 2017

Vayetzei - Finding Your Place

Shalloooommmm sweeeetest friends!!!!!!


A huuuuge mazel tov to R' Motti and Esti Yagelnik on the birth of Ayala!!! May she be the source of a huuuge amount of nachas to all of klal yisrael!!! 


A special mazel tov to the new grandparents R' Yisrael [Eric?] and Ahava Ehrman and the new GREAT grandparents R' Asher Zelig [Fred?] and Suzan Ehrman and to all of the other excited relatives!!! KEYN YIRBU!!!


A huuuuge mazel tooov to R' Naftali and Tova Herskovic on the birth of their daughter!!! May she be a light unto the whole world and give her parents and grandparents much much nachas!!!! KEYN YIRBU!!!


TWO FIRST BORN GIRLS!!! WOW-EEEEE!!!! There are two boys in diapers whose kallah was just born. And they don't even know it.....


This Torah is dedicated to two of my brothers - R' Avraham Yitzchak and R' Yosef Ezra Jaspan. May they and their WHOLE FAMILIES grow in all ways with simcha, good health and prosperity. May their love for Torah increase together with their bank accounts, their families, the amount of Torah they know and the goodness that they spread to the whole WIDE world!!!


----


Shabbos is the yahrtzeit of HaGaon Rav Yaakov Moshe Charlap!!! I am giving a kiddush in shul this Shabbos in his memory and all are invited!!! Be there or be .... elsewhere!!!


So much to say - so little time...


So a short vort of his [with some of my own embellishments]. In this weeks parsha it says "ויפגע במקום" [Yaakov] "came to this place" whereupon he had this prophetic dream of angels and ladders [funny because as a child I would often play chutes and ladders. But this was a dream of a completely different type....]. You can read about it in this AWESOME book called the "Torah". 


But we are Jews and accept nothing at face value but rather always ask. So we ask - Of course he had a dream in a certain place?! Where else would he dream - in no place [remember what I just wrote - "be there or be elsewhere". Those are the only two options]? Like - everyone is always SOMEWHERE?? [Reminds me of the Holocaust survivor who was asked where he wanted to emigrate to after the war. He said "Australia". He was asked "Isn't that far?" He replied "Far from where?"]


So by golly - why does the pasuk emphasize the PLACE??


The answer is HUUUGE. EVERYBODY needs to find their PLACE in this world. Once you put yourself in the right place - then you can reach your full potential. For some the place is in Yerushalayim. For others - Raanana [the only American city that is bordered by Israel on all four sides]. For yet others - maybe Ellenville in Upstate New York. Who knows? Only Hashem. But once one finds his place - then he can truly excel. When one is in the wrong place then he is often blocked from reaching his [or her] potential.


ויפגע במקום!


Only after going to the correct place [in this case it was Har Hamoriah - "Temple Mount"] was Yaakov able to have this prophetic dream. 


Rashi says that ויפגע also mean tefilla. This teaches us how critical it is to daven in the right places. The right shul with the right type of people [i.e. those who take tefilla seriously, where they have elaborate kiddushes, Artscroll siddurim with the tefillah for Medinat Yisrael etc. etc.]. 


The gematria of סולם - ladder, is ממון - money [136]. The angels went up and down. money can bring one up or down.... [It is also מאפיה - The Mafia can also bring one up or down:-)]. 


So I bless us all that we should always be in the right place at the right time, we should have all of our prayers answered and be endowed with great material wealth, thereby elevating us and all of the world. 


A sweeeet shabbos BELOVED FRIENDS!!!!


Love,
Me

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Skewed Values - Nazis And Suffering Lobsters

Image result for dog images

Image result for baby images
You Choose


I saw a statistic - approximately 44 percent of all American families have a dog. 

Another statistic - A little bit less than 43 percent have children.

More people have dogs than children.  [Well ya know - to have a dog one doesn't get morning sickness or nausea like for a human being. And school tuition is considerably less]. 

A very large percentage of people surveyed said that if their dog and a stranger was drowning they would save their dog. Like - they don't know or care about the stranger so why should they let their beloved dog die and save the human? I am not comparing this to Nazism but the notion of animals being more valuable that human beings strikes an eerie cord in my Holocaust-Sensitive DNA*.  

According to the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey, in 2014, 47.6 percent of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children, up from 46.5 percent in 2012. This represents the highest percentage of childless women since the bureau started tracking that data in 1976.

My questions are "why" and "is this making women happier"? Maybe more selfish? [Chicken or egg shyla. Are they not having children because they are more selfish or are they becoming more selfish because they are not having children? I would guess that both sides of the chakira are correct]. 

The average household in 2016 consisted of 3.16 persons [!!!].  [Compare that with religious Jews].  And by golly - what do you serve 0.16 of a human being for dinner? And what do you call him/it? Fraction? "Fraction - come and eat one slice of an apple for dinner!" 

I can only lament the very flawed value system of people today and thank G-d that I was raised and taught differently. 

What is greater and more rewarding than loving and raising a child???  


*Remarkably, as soon as the Nazi Party came to power in 1933, they began to enact scores of animal protection laws, some of which are still operative in Germany. For example, in Nazi Germany, people who mistreated their pets could be sentenced to two years in jail. The Nazis banned the production of foie gras and docking the ears and tails of dogs without anesthesia, and they severely restricted invasive animal research. The Nazi Party established the first laws insuring that animal used in films were not mistreated and also mandated humane slaughter procedures for food animals and for the euthanasia of terminally ill pets. (The Nazis were particularly concerned with the suffering of lobsters in restaurants). In addition, the German government established nature preserves, a school curriculum for the humane treatment of animals, and they hosted one of the first international conferences on animal protection.

I would suggest that the Nazis were concerned with lobsters because they realized that lobsters were FAR better creatures than they were.