U.S. — The National Football League expressed hope that this would finally be the season when a white player would make it to the end zone and see the "End Racism" message.
The NFL has diligently painted the message on hundreds of end zones over the past several years, but sadly, a white player has yet to make it there to see it.
"The reality is that racism is alive and well because white players are untalented and slow," explained NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "We're not giving up, though. One day, a white player will score a touchdown in the National Football League, and racism will be gone forever. I mean, Christian McCaffrey can't blow out his knee every year, can he? We're staying positive."
Several times over the course of recent seasons, it appeared that a white guy might actually score a touchdown, only to be stopped at the last moment. "It's heartbreaking," said NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy. "Some big white oaf of a tight end goes rumbling down the sideline, and everyone at league headquarters starts screaming, ‘This is it!' Then, inevitably, a much faster player catches him from behind, and it's back to square one."
At publishing time, NFL officials announced a new contingency plan to have the words "END RACISM" painted inside the medical tent, where at least Christian McCaffrey was expected to have a much better chance of seeing them.
