I was asked to comment on the "brawl" that broke out in a well known yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael. How can it be that yeshiva boys act like hooligans? We are ALL bothered by this.
I have a lot to say and won't say it for my other responsibilities beckon [i.e. a man must learn and I am a man so logically it emerges that I must learn:-). Thanks Aristotle - or was it Plato - for that one]. In a nutshell my comments....
Part 1
The news sites got it all wrong!!! It is false!
The implication is that in other yeshivos there is no violence. Ohhh, there is. We call it מלחמתה של תורה - The War of Torah. Tens of thousands of boys and men arguing until their deaths about the correct interpretation of G-d's holy law. Every day, in every yeshiva in the world. That is the ordinary reality everywhere. Why don't the news sites pick up, that Rav Berel Povarsky Shlita, the Rosh Yeshiva of Ponivitch, answered a BOMB KASHYA of the Pnei Yehoshua that has never been heard before. Or that Rav Baruch Mordechai Ezrachi had an approach to a Tosfos that answered NINE different questions at once. After shiur the boys were so enthralled that they danced together and hugged! Why isn't THAT on every Jewish new site like the "brawl" was?
ANSWER: Because it is not DIRT and new sites thrive on DIRT. Journalism in general looks for the abnormal and tries to present it as normal. There are loads of article on homosexual issues but very few on heterosexual issues - unless the hetero behavior is abnormal. What is interesting about an article about a couple that is living happily and modestly together for 30 years? The only way to get into the paper is to do something really rotten like make one's wife an aguna or abuse her [chas vi-shalom]. Papers - and blogs, LOVE that stuff. It keeps the hit counter moving and the commenters commenting [good for advertising revenue] and the papers selling. Dirt sells.
So remember, next time you click on "The ...." or "The ..." [don't want to get sued for libel:-)] you are putting your head in the gutter. The nature of the gutter is that when one puts anything there it gets dirty......
PART 2
IF YOU DON'T LIKE MUSSAR PLEASE STOP READING. YOU WON'T LIKE THIS!:-)
I didn't read about what happened. I vaguely heard about it and received an email from a boy asking me how such a thing could happen. It is a mammoth chillul Hashem and I will not defend it. Machlokes is an aveira from the Torah [לא תהיה כקרח ועדתו - ויש אומרים שהוא אסמכתא בעלמא עי' בס' בציר אביעזר של הרב שביב שמנתח את הדעות השונות] and is the only aveira that is called "gehenom" [Maharal]. Really bad.
What About Me?
But why focus on the faults of others when I am sooooo filled with my own personal deficiencies?! The sfarim talk about the little Amalek that is in every JEW. Amalek is the personification of evil on earth. When I honestly and candidly peer into my own soul I found a loooot of evil. Bad middos. You might not know because I cover it up really well so that I will be socially accepted but it festers within and sometimes even rears its ugly head.
Bad Middos - The Ten Commandments
The middah of anger is one that leads to murder. Do I ever get MAD? Do you? Why does the Torah in the most important part [if I may says that] say "Don't kill". Because potentially, there is a killer in all of us until we purify ourselves. Imagine you really can't stand someone [your boss, your business competitor] and you could make them disappear by just saying "kaboo". Nobody would ever find out and you wouldn't feel guilty afterwards and let's say it was permitted according to halacha - would you do it? Many people would. There is a little rotzeach in many off us. We just don't want to go to jail or know that we would would feel guilty afterwards so it's just not worth it.
Why does the Torah say לא תנאף - Because there is a little "noef" in all of us. Most of us don't do it because we are afraid of getting caught by our wives, society or G-d but if we could do it free of fears then we would. THAT is why we are so often מנאף in our thoughts and sights. Gazing at an attractive woman and feeling that "guy feeling" we all experience, is a subtle form of "nee-uf". [Isn't it GREAT that nobody knows what goes on in our minds?:-)]
I love you - sorry, but those are the facts.
What about football? A hungry "lion" devours the quarterback from the opposing team cause him intense pain he will feel for weeks or months and 80,000 people at the stadium cheer with euphoric joy. I don't get it. There is a man prostrated on the ground feeling intense pain - why is everybody cheering? Millions upon millions at home also cheer and get excited as human beings physically torture each other.
Do you ever lie? Almost EVERYBODY does. Isn't THAT something nice to fix? How often do we make statements that we don't really mean? How often do we do things just to impress others? From what I observe - that is a large percentage of what peopple do and say.
Nurse In Delivery Room: "Mazel Tov Mrs. Rosenberg - It's A Wild Animal"
The pasuk [Iyov 11/12] says עיר פרא אדם יולד - Man is born a wild donkey. WE ARE BORN ANIMALS. PERIOD. וכל מחשבות האדם רק רע כל היום. We are filled with egotism, selfishness, jealousy at the success of others, hatred for people who have harmed us or are different from the way we think they should be, filled with lust for people we don't know or care about but just see on a billboard or on a Dvd, obsessed with food and other bodily pleasures etc. etc. There is a lot of good in us also. We all have a special G-dly soul. We possess many positive qualities as well. But we ALSO have so much to fix. That is the ontological, most primary nature of this animal we call man. [Maybe that is why Chazal say that before Chava came around, Adam tried to make a shidduch between himself and all of the animals. He knew that man is "on the same page" with animals in many areas].
If one denies this then he is fooling himself. To be honest is to spend years peering into the recesses of the soul and fixing the animal and Amalek that resides with me. The power of my G-dly soul can make that transformation. [For some more - see Tanya about the dichotomy of the נשמה אלקית and נשמה בהמית].
Hearing The Cries Of My Brothers And Sisters
If it was 1943 and I was sitting pretty in America and could sleep soundly at night despite what I knew about in Europe - then something is VERY wrong with me. Sorry to say it but there are many Jews suffering today as well. How many people are writhing in pain now in the oncology ward of Mount Sinai, Long Island Jewish, Hadasa and Shaarei Tzedek. Do we feel their pain? Do we think about ways we can lessen their pain? How is it possible for people to have time for all of the nonsense that is facebook etc. when there is so much to be done to alleviate the suffering of others.
This Pesach - thousands of thousands of Jews are going to be spending TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS on exotic vacations. I am in favor of simchas Yom Tov. But what about the thousands upon thousands upon thousands that won't have enough money to buy the basics? If people were giving the same amount of many to the poor as they are spending on the vacation then I accept it - but I suspect that not everybody is. Yes, hitting another Jew is a serious aveirah but it is also not a big mitzva when one is blind and deaf to the suffering of others. People are suffering and if all of those who could alleviate their suffering would do so there wouldn't be a person in the entire Jewish people whose suffering wouldn't be alleviated considerably. I go to simchas and for just what the BAND is costing a number of destitue families could be helped for YEARS. Do they really need Daskal AND Dachs AND Gabbay for the chosson and kallah? That doesn't mean that we shouldn't have music at our simchas. It DOES mean that we should be more sensitive to the suffering of others and think of ways to best allocate our funds to do so.
So we can say about the yeshiva bochrim in the aforementioned yeshiva - "Shame on you" but what about ME? Don't I have areas of my life which scream "Shame on ME"? I don't know about you sweet friend but I know FOR SURE that I have many such areas. I am not going to fix those wayward boys but I can certainly fix myself.
What about lashon hara?! According to Chazal, lashon hara is LIKE KILLING SOMEONE. Yet we speak and often enjoy hearing it as well. We go to Jewish news sites and blogs that are filled with lashon hara knowing full well that we will hear some and go back for more the next day. Why?
Create A New Person
עיר פרא אדם יולד - R' Simcha Zissel of Kelm translated "From the wild donkey - man must be born". Our job is to make a mentsch out of ourselves. We do that by learning mussar, chassidus, engaging in a lot of self introspection and being around people who have highly developed spiritual personalities.
I am not defending the disgusting behavior of people who should know better. I am turning the spotlight to ourselves and trying to determine if we are not also tainted by spiritual deficiencies that behoove us to work hard on fixing ourselves.
That was the short version.
What do YOU think, tyere precious yidden?
Love and blessings:-).
PS - You may share this with anyone you think may be interested. Let something positive also come out of this chilul Hashem...
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Filing For Bankruptcy
I found this very fascinating. It is also interesting to me that only rich people declare bankruptcy and continuing with their lavish lifestyles [because everything is in their wife's name]. Poor people like me don't "declare" bankruptcy. We are just bankrupt sans a declaration.... I also want to put things in my wife's name but I can't seem to find much of value. So I decided upon her sheitel. That is in her name. Her hair will remain covered regardless of my financial situation.....
Nu, it is Tu Bi-shvat which is a time to draw yeshuos for אלע יידין. Our learning about the topic should be in place of experiencing it and we should all have limitless shefa in parnassa.
AMEN:-).
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RabbiKaganoff.com
The Bankrupt Borrower
Mr. Gomel Chessed shares with his rav, Rav Chacham, the following predicament: “I loaned someone money, and I did not hassle him for payment when he told me that things were tough. Recently, I contacted him to ask if he is in any position to pay back. He replied that he was forced into bankruptcy and thereby absolved all his debts. Does he, indeed, no longer owe me for the loan?”Gomel’s rav explains that although the Gemara and the Shulchan Aruch do not recognize a concept called bankruptcy, there are authorities who contend that, at least in some circumstances, halachah requires that a bankruptcy court’s decision be honored. Gomel is eager to hear the full explanation, so his rav provides him with some background material to read until they make an appointment to discuss the matter at length.
Gomel truly enjoyed researching the topic, and discovered that he also wanted to know all the related subjects. As a result, he became somewhat of an expert on much of the halachic material germane to his question.
Responsibilities of a Borrower
One of the first topics Gomel researched was the extent that a borrower must go to pay his debts. He was surprised to discover how strongly halachah requires someone to repay his debts and to make his payments on time. In addition, it is strictly forbidden to claim that one is unable to pay a debt when he can, and it is similarly forbidden to hide money so that a creditor cannot collect. This is true even if the creditor is very wealthy.It is forbidden to borrow money that one does not think he will be able to repay. According to some authorities, money borrowed under the false pretense that the borrower intends to repay it is considered stolen, and not borrowed, funds. The halachic ramifications of this distinction are beyond the scope of this article.
If a debtor’s loan is due and he cannot pay, halachah requires that he sell his house, his furniture and his other household items, if necessary, to repay the debt, unless he can convince his creditor to forgive the debt or to wait longer for payment (Graz, Hilchos Halvaah 1:5).
Since the debtor must use whatever money he has available to pay his debt, he is required to trim his expenditures so that he can pay his creditor. Until his debt is repaid, he may not make significant contributions to tzedakah (Sefer Chassidim #454). Furthermore, he may not purchase a lulav and esrog, but instead must fulfill the mitzvah by borrowing from someone else (see Pischei Teshuvah, Choshen Mishpat 97:8). It goes without saying that luxuries and vacations are out. Someone who uses his money to purchase non-essential items when he has an overdue debt demonstrates a lack of understanding of the Torah’s priorities. One who squanders money and therefore is unable to repay his loans is called a rosho (Rambam, Hilchos Malveh 1:3).
Systematic Collection
Having researched how responsible a debtor must be, Gomel next studied the following topic: If a debtor unfortunately owes more money than he can pay, how does the halachah decide that we divide the debtor’s limited financial resources among his creditors?Gomel discovered that the halachos governing who collects first are highly complicated. He also discovered that, when there are insufficient financial resources to pay all of the person’s debts, halachah views the priorities of who receives, and how much, very differently from civil law. Here are some basic ideas.
The Gemara works with a concept called shibud by which most debts are automatically secured with property that the debtor owned at the time he created the obligation. When this system was followed, if a debtor defaulted on an obligation, a creditor who exhausted all means of collecting directly from the debtor’s holdings could collect these secured debts from real properties that the debtor once owned and had subsequently sold. The system in place allowed that potential purchasers could find out whether a property had a lien on it prior to purchasing it. (This would loosely parallel what we call today a “title search” performed before purchasing property to ascertain that the property is without any liens and that the seller has clear ownership.) The potential lien on all the properties of a debtor encouraged people to pay their debts so that they could sell their properties more easily, and also enabled people to borrow investment capital.
Who Collects First?
Under the Gemara’s shibud system, when there are two or more claims on a property whose value is less than the outstanding debt, the creditor with the earliest claim collects as much as he can, and, after his claim is paid, the creditor with the next earliest claim collects, and so on (Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 104:1).When Gomel asked contemporary halachic authorities if this system is used today, he was told that one would not be able to collect from such properties unless they were mortgaged.
Why did the halachah change?
Since today no one applies the system of the Gemara, the creditor did not expect to be able to collect from any properties after the debtor sells them. As a result, the creditor did not acquire shibud on any of the debtor’s properties (Shu’t Igros Moshe, Choshen Mishpat 2:62).
Bad Talmudic Debts
When there is no shibud claim on any properties, then, under the Gemara’s system, the outstanding creditors collect, but not proportional to the amount that each is owed. According to most authorities, we still follow whose claim is earliest. Others rule that everyone is paid equally according to the availability of resources (Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 104:13 and Sma). Either approach results in a major difference between the Gemara’s system and the modern approach. Under the modern approach, the court calculates what is the ratio of the available resources to the debt, and pays all creditors a percentage of the debt based on the result.By now, Gomel has studied much of the Gemara and commentaries on the topic of debt collection, and he has a good idea how bad debt was collected in the time of the Gemara. After reviewing his studies with Rav Chacham, Gomel is ready to understand how and if bankruptcy fits into a halachic system. He soon discovers that he now needs to master a very complicated concept of halachah called dina demalchusa dina.
Dina Demalchusa Dina
In the time of the Gemara, most countries and governments were kingdoms. This meant that the people living in an area recognized one individual to be responsible to maintain law and order within the country and to protect the citizenry from external enemies and greedy neighbors. Without a government, people are in constant danger from the chaos that occurs when there is no respect for a central authority. To quote the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos (3:2), “Pray for the peace of the kingdom, for if people are not afraid of it, one man will swallow another alive.” Anyone who has ever seen or read of the mass looting that transpires when there is a breakdown of authority knows exactly what this means.The king or government requires an army to protect the country from its external enemies, a police force to uphold law and order, and royal palaces and government offices that are well maintained so that the king’s authority is respected. All this requires funding, and the people realize that they need to pay taxes so that the king and/or government can protect them (see Rashbam, Bava Basra 54b s.v. VeHa’amar). The halachah of dina demalchusa dina recognizes that the king and his properly appointed agents have the right to collect taxes (Nedarim 28a).
Din Melech
When the tribes of Israel approached their prophet, Shmuel, requesting that he appoint a king, Shmuel attempted to dissuade them by noting the tremendous power that a king has. He will draft the most talented sons to till his fields, harvest his crops and perform other services; he will draft their daughters as perfumers, bakers and cooks; and he will raise high taxes (Shmuel I 8:11-18). The Gemara (Sanhedrin 20a) cites a dispute as to whether a Jewish monarch has the extensive authority that Shmuel describes or if Shmuel was simply threatening the people in an attempt to dissuade them from having a king. The Rambam (Hilchos Melachim 4:1) and most authorities rule that the king indeed does have this authority.Some poskim understand that a non-Jewish king, also, draws his authority based on this concept of din melech. That is, the Torah reserved the rights described by the prophet Shmuel for any monarch. (Even for those who contend that Shmuel was merely threatening the people and that the king does not have this extensive authority, the concept of dina demalchusa dina is still accepted; they simply do not consider the din melech of Shmuel to be the source of the law of dina demalchusa dina.)
Democratic Taxes
Although the early authorities discuss dina demalchusa dina primarily in terms of the rights of a king, most later authorities understand that this halachic power exists equally in a democracy (see Shu’t Yechaveh Daas 5:63).Gomel discovered that the vast majority of halachic authorities regard dina demalchusa dina as a Torah-mandated concept (see Shu’t Dvar Avraham 1:1; Avnei Meluim 28:2; Shu’t Chasam Sofer, Yoreh Deah #314), although there is a minority opinion that contends that dina demalchusa dina was introduced by Chazal (Beis Shemuel, 28:3).
Many authorities rule that a king may not arbitrarily create new taxes; he may only collect that which has been previously established (Ritva, Nedarim 28a; see lengthy list in Encyclopedia Talmudis, Volume 7, page 318, footnote 559). Why is this true? When people appointed the original king to protect them, they accepted certain taxes with which to pay him for his “services.” According to these rishonim, neither this king nor his successors have an arbitrary right to create new taxes or increase taxes without the consent of the governed.
Traffic and Safety Regulations
Thus far, we have seen that dina demalchusa dina governs the right of the king or the government to collect taxes. Dina demalchusa dina also requires obeying rules of the government, such as the prohibitions against smuggling and counterfeiting. However, dina demalchusa dina goes much further. Some authorities maintain that dina demalchusa dina requires everyone to obey government-created rules that are clearly for the common good (Ramban, Bava Basra 55a). One may argue that this includes traffic laws, and regulations governing sanitation, safety and health. Those who do not agree that dina demalchusa dina extends this far feel that dina demalchusa dina is limited to matters that more directly affect the government (see Maggid Mishnah, Hilchos Malveh 27:1). All opinions agree that dina demalchusa dina applies to matters which breach the authority of the governing parties (Igros Moshe op. cit.). The exact extent to which this is applied practically will affect Gomel’s original question, whether dina demalchusa dina applies to bankruptcy law.No Government Influence
What areas of halachah are not subject to dina demalchusa dina?Dina demalchusa dina does not replace the civil laws of the Torah (the laws of Choshen Mishpat) that govern the relationships between Jews (Shu’t Harashba 3:109, quoted by Beis Yosef, Choshen Mishpat end of Chapter 26; Shach, Choshen Mishpat 73:39). For example, dina demalchusa dina does not affect the laws of inheritance. These laws are governed by the Torah’s laws of yerushah.
Similarly, the laws of damages (nezakin), the laws of shomrim – responsibility for taking care of someone else’s property – and the property laws involved in marriage are all areas of halachah in which Jews are required to follow the laws of the Torah. Therefore, when a Jew lends an item to another, the laws governing his responsibility are those of the Torah, not the local civil code. This is because it is no infringement on the government’s authority when people make their own arrangements as to how to manage these areas of their lives (Igros Moshe).
Government Influence
On the other hand, there are certain areas of contract law that are heavily influenced by dina demalchusa dina. For example, the laws of employee relations are governed by local custom (Yerushalmi, Bava Metzia 7:1), and these are usually heavily influenced by civil law.What about Bankruptcy?
As I wrote above, the Gemara and the Shulchan Aruch do not mention any concept of bankruptcy. Gomel began to research if anyone discusses whether or not halachah recognizes the laws of bankruptcy under the laws of dina demalchusa dina. Indeed, he discovered a dispute among great authorities of the late twentieth century whether dina demalchusa dina applies to the laws of bankruptcy. In a responsum, Rav Moshe Feinstein rules that dina demalchusa dina applies only to matters in which the government takes an interest because they may affect the stability of the country. For example, if the country does not have consistent markets, this could create problems that the government wants to avoid. Therefore, the government has a halachic right under dina demalchusa dina to insist that its laws insuring stable markets are followed.Rav Moshe concludes that the laws of bankruptcy are within the parameters of dina demalchusa dina, since the government has a right to insist that there be a consistent rule of law applied throughout the country regarding how bad debts are discharged.
In the case brought before Rav Moshe, a company had gone bankrupt, and the directors had paid one of its creditors for his outstanding debt in violation of the bankruptcy rulings. The question was whether the individual was required to return the money that he had been paid because of dina demalchusa dina. Rav Moshe ruled that if the company had already filed for bankruptcy when this money was paid, then the creditor is halachically required to return the money. This is because dina demalchusa dina establishes the regulations how one may pay once one has filed for bankruptcy.
We find responsa from two prominent European authorities, Rav Yitzchak Weiss (Shu’t Minchas Yitzchak 3:134), then the av beis din of Manchester (and later the Gaon Av Beis Din of the Eidah HaChareidis in Yerushalayim), and from Rav Yaakov Breisch of Zurich, Switzerland (Shu’t Chelkas Yaakov 3:160). (It is interesting to note that these two great poskim were mechutanim.) From the limited description of the cases that each responsum contains, it seems that they were asked concerning the same situation:
Reuven advanced Shimon a personal loan, and Shimon subsequently declared bankruptcy. As required by law, Shimon had notified all his creditors, Reuven included, that he had filed for bankruptcy protection and that Reuven had the right to protest the bankruptcy arrangements. Reuven did not protest the bankruptcy proceedings, which ultimately ruled that Shimon was required to pay only thirty cents per dollar owed to his creditors.
Subsequently, Reuven sued Shimon in beis din for the entire loan. Shimon contended that he is not required to pay Reuven any more than the thirty cents to the dollar that the bankruptcy court ruled that he was required to pay. Reuven, the creditor, claimed that he had never forgiven any part of the loan. He claimed that he did not protest the bankruptcy proceedings for several reasons, among them that he was unaware that a personal loan which was not meant for profit is included in bankruptcy proceedings.
The rav who was asked the shaylah referred it to these well-known poskim. They both contend that dina demalchusa dina does not apply to bankruptcy procedures. In their opinion, dina demalchusa dina never supplants an area of halachah where the Torah provides its own guidelines.
They do agree that if there was evidence that Reuven had accepted the court’s ruling, he would no longer be entitled to full payment, because he had been mocheil, forgiven, the balance of the loan. Once someone is mocheil a loan or part of a loan, he cannot afterwards claim it. However, they contend that in the situation at hand, there is no evidence that Reuven was ever mocheil the balance of the loan.
It would seem from Rav Moshe Feinstein’s responsum that he would have ruled differently and contended that once the court declared Shimon bankrupt, Reuven would have been obligated to honor the court’s decision because of dina demalchusa dina.
At this point, Gomel sat down to discuss with Rav Chacham whether his own debtor can claim protection from the balance of his loan because he has declared bankruptcy. According to the Chelkas Yaakov, the Minchas Yitzchak, and other authorities, the debtor has no basis for claiming bankruptcy protection. According to Rav Moshe Feinstein, one would have to check with an attorney whether the debtor’s bankruptcy protects him legally from Gomel’s loan even though Gomel was not informed of the bankruptcy proceedings. Assuming that the bankruptcy proceedings can, indeed, protect the debtor, it would seem that, according to Rav Moshe and some other authorities, the debtor has grounds to his argument.
Conclusion
Lending money is a valuable mitzvah. When someone fulfills the mitzvah of lending money to a fellow Jew, he is not providing a gift, but a loan that he has a right to expect will be repaid. As the Tanna, Rabbi Shimon, notes in the second chapter of Pirkei Avos, “the evil path from which a person should distance himself” can be explained easily in the words of Dovid Hamelech: The wicked borrow and do not repay; whereas the righteous is gracious in his giving. Someone who borrows must always have a plan how he intends to return the funds.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
The Power Of Food
From my archives....
Rashi teaches us that this meal was a very special one - "Eating a meal with Torah scholars is similar to enjoying the Divine Presence". כאילו נהנים מזיו השכינה. Lovely. But isn't that a WEE BIT exaggerated? Jews like to eat but to raise the act of eating to such an elevated plane seems to be overdoing it.
A myseh that Mori V'Rabbi the Tolna Rebbe Shlita heard from a Jew in Bayit Vegan years back.....
After the war Rabbi Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg [the author of the Sredei Aish] went to the DP camps to give inspiration and encouragement to the survivors. He prepared profound lectures based on the deepest books to help restore the faith that so many of our people had lost. Nevertheless he saw that he wasn't really making much of an impression and quite often people would not even come to listen [I know the feeling:(... A.C.E.] This understandably caused him great anguish. He then heard that in one camp in Ferenvald there is a great spiritual revival. He traveled there to investigate and understand the secret of helping people return to their faith. He arrived towards evening and he saw that in one shack there was a group of people who had survived the gehenom of the war. They were eating some sardines that the "Joint" had provided and were singing with great emotion. At the head of the table sat a Jew who was leading the proceedings and sharing words of comfort and consolation. Rabbi Weinberg inquired as to his identity and he was told that his name was the Klausenberger Rebbe who had lost his entire family [a wife and ELEVEN children! When he would daven and say אדון הנשמות he would think of the neshama of each one of his family members who had perished]. Rabbi Weinberg approached him and asked what the secret is. He prepares deep lectures explaining the profundity of our faith and nobody is really interested while the Rebbe is inspiring hundreds. The Rebbe said [in Yiddish I'm sure but I'll do it in English] "Rav Weinberg you forgot an explicit gemara. In Chullin [ד] we learn that the righteous King Yehoshafat was lured into joining forces with the evil King Achav [against Aram] against his better judgement because Achav served him a meal. אין הסתה בדברים - if you really want to convince somebody the correct address is the stomach and not the mind. When I eat with them I have a lot more success that I would with speeches."
[Parenthetically - I heard that the Israeli contingent that signed the Oslo accords returned home much heavier than they had been when they left. The goyim kept feeding them until they signed... If I used parenthesis do I have to say "parenthetically"? Well, here I used brackets so it should be "bracketly". But I put in brackets so maybe it's not necessary. Oy the problems I have in life:-)]
THAT is the secret of Rashi. If one really wants to get close to Hashem, just sitting with a tzaddik and eating can accomplish that. That is why, as Jackie Mason comically noted ["Gentiles drink, Jews eat"] , Jews are such big eaters. Every seudas mitzva, every Shabbos, every Yom Tov etc. etc. is an opportunity to channel our eating pleasure to a more lofty plane. If a tzaddik and Torah scholar is sitting at the table it is indeed as if we are deriving pleasure from the Divine presence.
I add that a lesson that can be learned from this is that even though it is often the father or other males at the table sharing the divrei Torah, the woman from her honored place in the kitchen [unless the man cooks which happens in some homes but not in the one where this computer is located] has a greater influence on the spiritual growth of the children. Everyone knows that the rule is "Keep the divrei Torah short but the food plentiful". So נשות חיל women of valor, remember that you indispensable not only for the material needs of the home but the spiritual needs as well.
A DELICIOUS, ELEVATING, SHABBOS BELOVED FRIENDS
!!
[Based on the Rebbe Shlita's weekly chumash shiur תשס"ו]
לא טוב
From my archives....
At the beginning of Parshas Yisro, Rashi explains that Yisro is called "Yisro" because he added [יתר] a parsha [section] in the Torah. The "parsha" is ואתה תחזה where Yisro advises Moshe to appoint judges.
At the beginning of Parshas Yisro, Rashi explains that Yisro is called "Yisro" because he added [יתר] a parsha [section] in the Torah. The "parsha" is ואתה תחזה where Yisro advises Moshe to appoint judges.
Many years ago there was a gathering of prominent Rabbonim in Europe in order to discuss the critical issues of the time. One Rav arose and gave a fire and brimstone speech, pointing out the many flaws in the behavior of the Jewish people. After he finished, arose the great Gaon and Tzadik HaRav Menachem Zemba ztz"l [who was later killed by the Nazis in the Warsaw Ghetto, Pesach 1942 הי"ד] and quoted our Rashi. Asked Rav Zemba - The parsha that Yisro added does not start with the words ואתה תחזה [means look for worthy judges] but even earlier with the words לא טוב הדבר אשר אתה עושה - What you are doing [judging the Jews alone] is not good. Why does Rashi not quote THAT pasuk?
Answered the Holy Rav - לא טוב is not a parsha. Just criticizing doesn't have any merits!! The parsha only really begins when we search for solutions. ואתה תחזה - find worthy judges. THAT is a parsha! [Heard from the Tolna Rebbe Shlita]
He meant to tell the previous Rav - just telling people what they are doing wrong is not enough, we must search for solutions!
Sweetest friends!! We don't realize how much we are criticized and how much we criticize others. A child can be criticized dozens of times a day. "Don't do this", "Don't go there", "Don't touch that", "Why didn't you call?" ["Why" is almost never a question and almost always a criticism] "Why were you late?", "I can't believe you said that!".. The examples abound.
WOMEN!! Stop trying to change your husbands. The last time a woman changes a male is when he is in diapers.... You criticize him all the time but you see that it doesn't help! So give it up. If he is male [most husbands are], he won't respond positively to being criticized. He WILL become resentful. Exactly what you want:-).
PARENTS!! Cut your kids some slack. If you HAVE to criticize, make sure that for every word of criticism, your child hears ten complimentary words. One major reason that so many people suffer from the illness called "perfectionism" is because they were relentlessly criticized as children. I am an "observant Jew" and notice how constant the barrage of criticism flows from parents to children, spouses to each, teachers to students etc. The sad reality is that it almost always has the opposite of the intended effect. Most people aren't even cognizant of how critical they are towards others - and primarily towards themselves. To show them would require lots of therapy that people haven't the time or money for. So PLEASE save the money and start noticing. לא טוב is not a parsha! IF YOU STOP CRITICZING YOURSELF ALL OF THE TIME - YOU WILL ALSO BECOMEING MORE ACCEPTING TOWARDS OTHERS.
We are in the Kabalistic period of the year called שובבי"ם where we try to bring our errant children back home שובו בנים שובבים!! The way to do this is by always finding the good and trying our best to minimize the criticism. With children - minimal. With spouses NEVER [trust me - this is my field]. If you internalize this - your lives and those around you will improve dramatically and immediately!!
Love and blessings to all and a great shabbos!
A not normal shiur on this weeks parsha בס"ד http://www.yutorah.org/
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