Loking For Love In All The Wrong Places

I am distressed. We are trying to build the Jewish Nation!!! This is done by bringing men and women together. But many young religious men are in their late 20's and 30's and .. nothing. Single as a newborn baby. WHY?

I will tell you why!

Because many guys [NOT ALL!] will only meet a girl if she looks like a movie star, and most girls don't. How do I know this [not that most girls don't look like movie stars, even though I don't go to movies, but that they will only meet her if she looks like a movie star]? Because people who try to set them up say so. What is worse is that they are not even ashamed to admit it! They won't date her without a picture [from facebook to the chuppah]. They will reject ten names in a row because - they just look like regular pretty girls.

Those faithful to Torah values all believe that what really matters is a girl's character, her depth, her spirituality, her dedication to eternal values, her desire to be holy and pure etc. Looks are of minimal importance, only so that there should be a basic attraction between the couple. But today [I am told] looks are IT. That is the first thing on the list. The other things are important .... for Artscroll books on marriage. But what REALLY matters is her looks. If my eyes aren't popping out - forget about it.

SUPERFICIALITY!!!! OY YOY YOY! This is what Yeshivos are producing? This phenomenon is diametrically opposed to EVERYTHING we are trying to convey to the next generation. The ikker is her NESHAMA, not her guf!! But they live otherwise. When they finally get married they can sing "sheker yiras Hashem, isha yaffa he tis'hallal". The marriage is predicated upon externals and is therefore corrupt to start with.

Let's say she IS beautiful. Will this make the boy happy? Well, lets go to our models [tarti mashma], Hollywood stars. They ALL [or almost all] have extremely dysfunctional relationships [see People Magazine. Or better yet - don't see People Magazine]. They NEVER remain with the same partner for any significant period of time. Why? They are gorgeous?! Everything should be perfect and their men should walk around on cloud nine.

The answer is that there is no correlation between a successful relationship and the woman's physical appearance. I am not saying that she should be ugly in his eyes but after a basic attraction what really matters in the relationship is invisible to the human eye. When a woman has bad character, when she is mean or vengeful, she is UGLY, regardless of her smooth skin or eye color.

Also, even if she is beautiful, it isn't so exciting to look at after the 30,000th time you've seen her. And after a while the beauty fades and she begins to look like a grandmother - because that is what she is.

So sweetest single friends, please try to see beyond the superficial externals and give the girl a chance, even if she looks like a regular person. The future of the Jewish people - and your own legacy - depends on it.

Love and blessings and a BLISSFUL Shabbos!!!

PS - Feel free to connect this to the end of last weeks parsha.

PPS - I am told that Rivka bas Yael Razel [who fell off the roof] woke up from her coma and recognized her parents BARUCH HASHEM [!!!] but has a long road to recovery so please keep her in your tefillos.