Tzvi Moshe On Spiritual Expansion

Parsha Matos is the Parsha that brings us in to the climax of the Three Weeks. The Three weeks are often called “Bein HaMeitzarim” meaning ‘Amongst the Constrictions.’ Being tight and restricted are the way that we sum up the weeks where we mourn the destruction of Jerusalem and our current Exile.

We are about to enter the peak of Bein HaMeitzarim by going into the month of Avand the Nine Days which are considered even an even worse time for the Jews than the first segment of the Three Weeks.

But Av often has a title given to it, this month goes by the name Menachem Av, the word Menachem means comforting. What emerges is that built into the very suffering and pain of these days is it's comfort. Inasmuch as there is the suffering of Av, there is also the way out it.
Parshas Matos is the way we enter into this month of Chodesh Av and the Nine Days specifically. Perhaps we can show how the factor of the Menachem in Av is in our Parsha.

There are three major topics dealt with Parshas Matos. The first is Hafaras Nedarim, the way one is allowed to undo a promise. The second is the war with Midyan and the third is the request of the tribes of Reuven and Gad to settle outside the traditional boundaries of Eretz Yisrael on the other side of the Jordan River.

With a deeper look at these three topics we will hopefully come away with a unified theme of how do undo the constrictedness of the Bein HaMeitzarim.

The first issue is Hafaras Nedarim. The word Hafaras literally means ‘The untying of.’ Why does a vow need to be untied? What about a Neder requires that is be released?

Perhaps we can answer in the following way. Usually a person who swears something upon himself is restricting himself from a certain pleasure. “I swear not to eat X” or “I promise not to do Y.” This is a constriction of that person’s capabilities. Of all the things a person can do, for everything he swears off, he can do that much less. An oath is a restriction of possibilities. Through such a Neder a person is tying himself down. (We can already see how this is deeply related to the term Bein HaMeitzarim, the days of constriction.)

Based on the above we now have a better understanding as to why a promise needs to be untied. A Neder is binding by its very nature and can only be undone through some ‘releasing’ process.
So how does Hafaras Nedarim work? The answer is that a person, by no means can undo his own oath. Only another person can release him of his oath. Hafaras Nedarim is not a simple recitation or an incantation that can be done in private – it must be done at the hands of another person.

We will get into the significance of all this when we tie everything together.

The next topic in the Parsha is the war against Midyan. It’s brought down that the word Midyan spelled Mem, Yud, Daled, Yud, Nun finds its root in the word Din which is comprised of Daled, Yud, and Nun. What is Din? The term Din is an expression of Hashem’s attribute of firm justice, exactitude (it’s a real word) and constriction. The Days of Bein HaMeitzarim are days of extreme Din.

And how did the Jews fight against Midyan? With Pinchas as their leader. Where did we hear about Pinchas first? At the end of Parshas Balak, two weeks ago. Pinchas stood up for the morals of his nation and had to kill a prince because that was really the will of God. We are told by Chazal that at first he was looked down upon by the community at large for his actions. “Pinchas, you’re a nobody! Who are you to kill a prince?”

Only now after the relationship is fixed, and Pinchas is given the respect he deserves as a leader in battle can Am Yisrael fight against Midyan and the contractedness ofDin.

The third and final topic in Matos is the request of of the tribes of Reuven and Gad to settle outside the traditional boundaries of Eretz Yisrael on the other side of the Jordan River. How does this merge with our theme?

The land of Israel is sometimes referenced to as Eretz HaTzvi, ‘Land of the Deer.’ Why? Because in the same way that deer is said to have extraordinarily stretchable leather hide, so too the borders of Eretz Yisrael can expand greatly. Borders by their very nature are constrictions, but these two tribes, who sought to settle outside of the normal boundaries were trying to stretch those borders.

But Moshe gives them a stipulation. ‘You guys can settle on the other side of the river, but you must help out the other tribes in their conquest before you can settle down.’ Meaning, in order to expand the borders of Eretz Yisrael you have to do your part in your relationship with the rest of Am Yisrael.

In order to put everything together we need to consider the following.

My sense of ‘Self’ extends as a result of my relationships. Why? When I care about something or someone, I invest mental energy into that thing or person. I take time and effort, in essence I take my soul and I extend it. Through that which I care about I can extend myself, the ‘self’ that is me, past my physical body!

This is the meaning of the unified Jewish people being K’Ish Echad, as one, macrocosmic man.

When every Jew cares about every other and they begin to really care and act on behalf of each other, then each Jewish soul can mesh bringing thecollective soul of Nishmas Yisrael to its full-flourishing glory.

On the other hand, it is the melt-down of interpersonal relationships, a collapse of Bein Adam L’Chaveiro that is the most constricting thing for the soul of a person. Without a relationship I’m left all alone. There is no greater sense of ‘Self’. There is none of the aforementioned growth at the hands of caring beyond my personal desires.

We know that the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed at the hands of Sinas Chinam, baseless hatred.

It was the destruction of relationships that set the stage of the tension and restriction for Bein HaMeitzrim.

But Parshas Matos shows us the way out. Do you want to undo the chains that bind you (Hafaras Nedarim)? It’s only through the hands of your relationship with others that it can happen. Do you want to be victorious in your push against the harshness (The battle against Midyan)? Success only comes if we fix our Bein Adam L’Chaveiro. Do you want to expand past the restrictions that confine you (The extension of Eretz Yisrael)? It can only happen if you take responsibility for your brethren.

In conclusion, how is the Menachem built into Av? Through the message of Matos. It is only through an extension of self through and our work in Bein Adam L’Chaveirothat we will overcome the Bein HaMeitzarim of these tension filled days.


B’Ezras Hashem we should be truly Zoche to extend beyond ourselves into a realm of true relationships that will help us overcome the constrictions of Bein HaMeitzarim. If we can really work on this then there is no doubt that it will lead us to lives offulfillment and happiness bringing an end to this bitter exile, drawing us closer to the Creator and ultimately the redemption BiMeheira BiYameinu, Amen!