Control

“Man does not control his own fate. The woman in his life does that for him.”

The need to control is a sign of weakness. Sometimes I observe parents who habitually threaten their children ["If you do that, no dinner", "If this behavior continues, you are going to your room" etc.]. If the parent is strong and authoritative then the child will listen without threats but the parent doesn't feel strong so he reverts to threats [which often aren't carried out anyway]. Of course sometimes it is necessary to punish [VERY SPARINGLY] but threats are just a way of exerting control, as if to say - "I AM STRONGER THAN YOU, SO WATCH OUT".

How would you feel if you had a job and every time your boss wanted you to do something he said "Either do it or you are fired". You would think 'Why can't he just tell me to do it without the threats'. So how does a child feel when threatened? Unfortunately, some people don't know any other language and this makes them very unlikable.

Spouses also try to control. I would like to put an end to it but approximately 6 billion people DON'T read the blog, so I am limited in the impact I have. But if you are reading, I urge you - let your spouse be whomever she is. It is not your job to change her. I would reckon that before perfecting her there are probably a couple of things in your own personality that need fixing:). And the BEST way to change someone else is by personal example.

Love and blessings!

PS - Please daven for Sarah Leah bas Chana Yenta. Just because your cholim list is long doesn't mean that she needs your tefillos any less.....