Tuesday, April 5, 2016

One of The The Secrets Of A Successful Relationship - Revealed!

לע"נ אריה דב בן מרדכי

A HUUUUUUUGE principle from the Beis Medrash of the Maharal [בקיצור נמרץ כי הזמן אץ לי והרוצה להרחיב יכול ליצור עימי קשר]. 

In order to show that something has importance, it must be done with קביעות. It must have a set time and preferably place as well.

That is why we must daven in our מקום קבוע - set place. 

That is also why we are not just asked by Hashem if we learned but if we were קובע עתים - did we have set times to learn? If one is לומד לפרקים - he learns from time to time when he gets the chance, he is compared by the gemara to an adulterer [no less!!!]. The problem with adultery [among others...] is that it is not a set relationship but just a "fly by the night" affair. Only marriage is holy because it is SET. The word מקודשת that men say to the women under the chuppah, means מיוחדת ומזומנת - she is set aside for you and thus holy [מקודשת also means "holy"].

Even after marriage, one of the secrets of a good relationship is קביעות. The couple must have set times to be together, both intimately and outside the bedroom. This gives the relationship a dimension of purpose and value. When a couple just spends time together when they have a few minutes or only when they "feel like it", they are pretty doomed to have a lifeless marriage. 

Take the Maharal's word for it...:-)