Monday, June 11, 2018

Feeling Isn't Everything

In an article by a Neo-Chasid as part of the recent debate sparked by the exchange in Mishpacha, he wrote: 
"We are no longer satisfied with a page of Gemara or Mesillas Yesharim that doesn’t emit the most wondrous fragrance of Hashem’s presence". [רחמנא ליצלן מהאי דעה משובשת]. 

This is VERY problematic statement. I believe that it stems from the [false] belief that if one doesn't feel an emotional connection, then it is not valid spirituality. So if I learn Bava Kamma and fail to understand and feel the Divine imprint and spirituality -  then it must be [people mistakenly believe] because it objectively lacks those qualities. 

True spirituality is not dependent on feeling. If I find a smelly sock on my block with a name on it, I am going pick it up and return it  to the owner even though it doesn't "feel" spiritual. Cleaning out a filthy storage room before Pesach also doesn't feel spiritual. Changing a baby's diaper also doesn't really give me a palpable emotional lift. Meditating might well make me feel a thousand times more spiritual than eating a my fifth piece of matza on Pesach night. Yet - meditating is not a mitzvah. Eating matza, returning a lost object, cleaning for Pesach and changing a baby's diaper all are mitzvos. Mitzva comes from the word "צוותא" which means "together". Doing a mitzvah, regardless of how you feel, brings you close to Hashem. Ideally, one SHOULD feel, but it is not critical.

Learning Toras Hashem, even if it is the measurements of the mizbeach or figuring our what is the exact color and size of blood that makes a women a niddah, creates a deep connection to Hashem. It seems more spiritual to learn a piece of Torah from the Ishbitzer but that is because we are too small to appreciate the value of all areas of Torah.

So by all means, whatever gives one a feeling of connection to Hashem should be learned, but not at the expense of those areas considered "dry".

I am not on the level to get a high from quickly being yotzei שנים מקרא but I still do it [the Halacha actually says that it shouldn't be done quickly, but that is besides the point]. I know that reading the words of Unkelos makes me closer to Hashem, even though I feel much closer when learning Chasidus. So I do both. I feel that learning mussar makes me a better person than learning Yevamos but I do both. We don't decide what creates a true connection to Hashem - He does. And He told us what does it.   

Big topic. The Maharal in Sefer Ha-tiferes is מאריך.  

One more point - There are thousands of people learning in Mir, Brisk, Lakewood etc. etc. who are very very far from being Neo [or actual] Chasidim. They learn gemara all day every day and feel quite fulfilled. 

כי לא דבר ריק הוא מכם - אם דבר ריק הוא, מכם הוא! ולמה? לפי שאין אתם יגעים בתורה [ירושלמי פרה א א].


"שלא יחשוב האדם בנפשו על איזה מן המצוות, שאינם אלא ליופי... לזה אמר כי הוא חייכם, שכמו בענייני הגוף, יש בכל איבר ואיבר חיות, וכולם דרושים לו בהכרח, כן בכל מצוה ומצוה יש בה חיות לנפש האדם, וכולם דרושים לו. וזהו מה שאמור בקהלת, (קהלת יב יג): "סוף דבר הכל נשמע, את האלהים ירא ואת מצותיו שמור, כי זה כל האדם", היינו, שעל-ידי יראת האלהים מלעבור על שום לא-תעשה, ולקיים כל מצוותיו שציווה בקום עשה, זהו כל האדם, והיינו שאז נקרא אדם השלם; מה שאין כן אם יקטן בעיניו, חס ושלום, איזה מן המצוות, אז הוא חסר בנפשו" (שמירת הלשון).