Something else that struck me about his goodbye letter. And I am not writing this to be critical for it is a matter of chinuch: He said that he leaves this life with no regrets. A entire lifetime and no regrets!! WOW!!
I don't go to bed at night without regrets about the previous day. My davening is NEVER up to par, nor is my learning, nor is my bein adam la-chaveiro and the list goes on. THREE times every day I ask Hashem to forgive me for my countless sins. Day after day after day.
When my time comes and I leave this world [for those who get upset when I make appeals, this cannot come to soon] and my skinny body [I recently weighed myself - 56 kilo-123 pounds on a 5-10 frame. So when I go, the chevre kadisha won't have trouble carrying me and the worms won't have much to eat B"H], I will be FILLED [not with fat but with] with a LIFETIME of regrets. Small and large.
And I am not alone. So how does one deal with this?
A] Be happy for the good things you do. We am not all bad or all good. Somewhere in the middle.
B] Be in a CONSTANT state of teshuva.
C] Rely on the "grace of G-d". He knows you are trying your best [usually].
D] Keep trying your best.
But never, NEVER with depression, melancholy or being forlorn [what is "forlorn? Two lorn plus two lorn"]. ALWAYS BI-SIMCHA!!!
Bi-ahava rabba,
Me
