BROOKLYN N.Y. — Local wife Shira Weinfeld was repulsed at the hideous sight of her husband Moishe's doughy, shaved face when he emerged from the bathroom after shaving his beard on Lag Ba-omer as she had requested.
"UGH! NO! ACK! HASHEM YERACHEM!!! Put it back on! Put your beard back on!" cried Mrs. Weinfeld, according to sources. "This was a mistake. You should've never shaved your beard. What were you thinking? That's not my husband's face. I can't even look at you!"
Mrs. Weinfeld then ran into the bathroom to throw up.
The husband, Moishe, expressed his frustration, as his wife had been the one to ask him to get rid of his beard to begin with. "Honey, this is what you wanted! I tried to warn you!" he said. "I can't just put the beard back on! It took me, like, the entire Sefira to grow it! I'm sorry!"
Sadly, Mrs. Weinfeld was unable to hear him as she was throwing up.
Experts say this occurs among thousands of married Frum couples throughout the nation during and after Lag Ba-omer, and warn that men should never, ever, ever shave their beards, ever. "Don't ever do it," said one anonymous expert. "Your wife might never recover from her trauma."
At publishing time, the Weinfeld's relationship had fallen into further turmoil after Moishe started playing Lipa Schmeltzer songs really loudly. He claimed that he was in recovery after not having listened to music since Pesach. Shira's requests to lower the volume were not responded to b/c Moishe couldn't hear her.
