Some people relate to others as we relate to ATM machines. When we need them, the machines have value. Otherwise - we barely notice them. So too, when we need someone else they have value and receive our attention. Otherwise - barely a nod, if that. If someone calls you, the odds are that it is not a random call to see how you are b/c they have been thinking a lot about you, are davening for you and really care. This will only happen [barring rare circumstances] if they know that you are going through some especially tough time. Otherwise, the call is b/c they need something from you [it might just be ther own need for connection]. But people are not just there for our own benefit. They are actually people with an entire range of emotions, feelings, experiences, fears, hopes, traumas etc. etc. and should be related to as such.
This is particularly evident when it comes to Gedolim/ Tzadikim. People come to them day and night with their problems. How many people think "This is a person too. Maybe he needs more time for himself and his own needs?" How many people ever think that Gedolim have personal needs?? Secret. They do. Many Gedolim lament the fact that people only come to them with tzaros, but don't report back when things work out. This makes sense. Since they are viewed as ATM Bracha Machines, people don't feel a need to come back and tell them about simchas. The reality is that these Tzadikim suffer when they hear about the pain of others and that suffering would be healed if they were apprised of the happy ending.
People often say "send regards to so and so". This is rarely necessary. Today we have texts and emails. With a minimum amount of effort one can contact the person and express good wishes or the like. How does the Nike ad go? Just do it!!!
Food for middos thought.
