Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Two Types Of People
There are two types of people in the world. People who categorize the world into two types of people and those who don't.
:)
There are those who do chesed and know how to make the recepient feel comfortable. There are others who don't make the recepient feel good about receiving the chesed.
It says in the Yerushalmi [Orlah 1/3] מאן דאכיל דלאו דילה בהית לאיסתכולי באפה - Someone who eats from someone else is embarrassed to look him in the face [see there for the interesting halacha derived from this principle]. Meaning that human dignity is compromised when one is in the position of receiver. The neshama [as I have pointed out numerous times in recent shiurim] is called "kavod" as in למען יזמרך כבוד or עורה כבודי [see the hakdama of the Baal Hamaor to Maseches Brachos]. To take away one's sense of dignity is to eviscerate [GOOD WORD, EHRMAN!] him of his very existence.
THAT is why Chazal say that to embarrass a person is like killing him. Chazal DO NOT say that to wound a person is like killing him even though one is removing some of his life force in the form of his blood. Maran HaRav Hutner explains that a person's צורת אדם - essential humanity, is partially depreciated when he is embarrassed . When he is wounded, it's just some blood. Not the end of the world.
A human being needs physical sustenance but more than that his spirit needs to be nourished. Only a person without a neshama has no sense of dignity. In other words, only a dead person has no sense of dignity.
Remember that next time you are at the Kotel and are approached for a donation. Imagine it was your father or mother and think how you would feel and how you would treat him or her.
Remember that next time you get a knock on your door and it is a tzedaka collector. I PROMISE you, he would much rather be the one answering the door and giving, than the one knocking.
The Torah was acutely sensitive to the poor and emphasized that one who gives a poor man a coin receives six brachos whereas one who says kind words receives eleven brachos [Bava Basra 9b]. The coin will only last until his next trip to the supermarket. The kind words may remain in his heart permanently. The kind words affirm that he is a person with human dignity and that is it is PLEASURE and HONOR to help him.
I admit - I do at times feel a sense of superiority over beggars. "Get a life. Find a job. Make something of yourself," I think.
This of course stems from a pungent sense of arrogance that must be uprooted. I am no better than he is. Some people have good fortune and others don't. Many a wealthy man will tell you that it was just a chesed from Hashem that made them rich but they just as easily could have been poor.
I am writing this post from a comfortable Manhattan apartment and I will tell you what I did to deserve this place.
NOTHING!!!!
Literally nothing. I just happen to be my parent's son and they are kind enough to allow me to stay here free of charge with all utilities on them as long as I wish. Why am I better than that fellow sleeping in a cardboard box outside my building? The answer is that I am not. I am just fortunate enough to have parents who graciously invite me into their home.
In the last 41 years, I have been at many-many-many people's homes. I must say that Jews are a nation of machnisei orchim extraordinaire. People are very welcoming and inviting and the food flows freely. I will add though that it is rare to find a host who makes one feel completely at home. That is the highest level of chesed. The feeling that you aren't a guest but a member of the family. That is clearly the meaning of the mishna ויהיו עניים בני ביתך - Let the poor feel like they are members of your household. It is not enough to invite them and feed them. One must make them feel as if they are members of the family.
Whenever I come to the States people invite me to stay over. They are all blessed and I have a tremendous sense of gratitude to all of them. But staying at my parents place [where I spent my childhood] gives me the feeling that I am HOME. No imposition at all. Stay forever. [Of course I should go back to my family eventually but you get the picture....] I don't know if I can but I hope-hope-hope that when I have guests over I can give them the same feeling. The fact that it is so rare that people actually come over [and often seem in a rush to leave when they do] means to me that people don't feel at home, so I have a lot to work on.
In any event, this post was not intended to be so lengthy. I thought that I would post one last thing before I go to sleep and this essay emerged from my fingers. I genuinely hope that it helped someone. I sometimes sense that after all of the mussar, people remain the same. BUT, I also know people who really work hard on transcending their natural habituation to circumstances and life. Rare but a truly heart warming phenomenon. There are certain people to whom I strongly gravitate and it is often because they exhibit this quality of hearing words of truth and trying implement them into their lives.
Do 956 words constitute a short post?
Love and blessings sweetest friends:):)!
:)
There are those who do chesed and know how to make the recepient feel comfortable. There are others who don't make the recepient feel good about receiving the chesed.
It says in the Yerushalmi [Orlah 1/3] מאן דאכיל דלאו דילה בהית לאיסתכולי באפה - Someone who eats from someone else is embarrassed to look him in the face [see there for the interesting halacha derived from this principle]. Meaning that human dignity is compromised when one is in the position of receiver. The neshama [as I have pointed out numerous times in recent shiurim] is called "kavod" as in למען יזמרך כבוד or עורה כבודי [see the hakdama of the Baal Hamaor to Maseches Brachos]. To take away one's sense of dignity is to eviscerate [GOOD WORD, EHRMAN!] him of his very existence.
THAT is why Chazal say that to embarrass a person is like killing him. Chazal DO NOT say that to wound a person is like killing him even though one is removing some of his life force in the form of his blood. Maran HaRav Hutner explains that a person's צורת אדם - essential humanity, is partially depreciated when he is embarrassed . When he is wounded, it's just some blood. Not the end of the world.
A human being needs physical sustenance but more than that his spirit needs to be nourished. Only a person without a neshama has no sense of dignity. In other words, only a dead person has no sense of dignity.
Remember that next time you are at the Kotel and are approached for a donation. Imagine it was your father or mother and think how you would feel and how you would treat him or her.
Remember that next time you get a knock on your door and it is a tzedaka collector. I PROMISE you, he would much rather be the one answering the door and giving, than the one knocking.
The Torah was acutely sensitive to the poor and emphasized that one who gives a poor man a coin receives six brachos whereas one who says kind words receives eleven brachos [Bava Basra 9b]. The coin will only last until his next trip to the supermarket. The kind words may remain in his heart permanently. The kind words affirm that he is a person with human dignity and that is it is PLEASURE and HONOR to help him.
I admit - I do at times feel a sense of superiority over beggars. "Get a life. Find a job. Make something of yourself," I think.
This of course stems from a pungent sense of arrogance that must be uprooted. I am no better than he is. Some people have good fortune and others don't. Many a wealthy man will tell you that it was just a chesed from Hashem that made them rich but they just as easily could have been poor.
I am writing this post from a comfortable Manhattan apartment and I will tell you what I did to deserve this place.
NOTHING!!!!
Literally nothing. I just happen to be my parent's son and they are kind enough to allow me to stay here free of charge with all utilities on them as long as I wish. Why am I better than that fellow sleeping in a cardboard box outside my building? The answer is that I am not. I am just fortunate enough to have parents who graciously invite me into their home.
In the last 41 years, I have been at many-many-many people's homes. I must say that Jews are a nation of machnisei orchim extraordinaire. People are very welcoming and inviting and the food flows freely. I will add though that it is rare to find a host who makes one feel completely at home. That is the highest level of chesed. The feeling that you aren't a guest but a member of the family. That is clearly the meaning of the mishna ויהיו עניים בני ביתך - Let the poor feel like they are members of your household. It is not enough to invite them and feed them. One must make them feel as if they are members of the family.
Whenever I come to the States people invite me to stay over. They are all blessed and I have a tremendous sense of gratitude to all of them. But staying at my parents place [where I spent my childhood] gives me the feeling that I am HOME. No imposition at all. Stay forever. [Of course I should go back to my family eventually but you get the picture....] I don't know if I can but I hope-hope-hope that when I have guests over I can give them the same feeling. The fact that it is so rare that people actually come over [and often seem in a rush to leave when they do] means to me that people don't feel at home, so I have a lot to work on.
In any event, this post was not intended to be so lengthy. I thought that I would post one last thing before I go to sleep and this essay emerged from my fingers. I genuinely hope that it helped someone. I sometimes sense that after all of the mussar, people remain the same. BUT, I also know people who really work hard on transcending their natural habituation to circumstances and life. Rare but a truly heart warming phenomenon. There are certain people to whom I strongly gravitate and it is often because they exhibit this quality of hearing words of truth and trying implement them into their lives.
Do 956 words constitute a short post?
Love and blessings sweetest friends:):)!
The Power Of Silence
In a shiur tonight [and I thank all the participants and host:)] I read out a line from Rav Kook that is even better when heard in the context of everything else he said - but it took me about an hour to say it all so I won't write it out. Just this line.
Sometimes you are insulted and your feelings have been hurt. You have what to say. You can really sock it to him/her good!!
But you don't.....
Says the Rav:
זאת היא גבורת הקודש של החיים
That is the HOLY POWER of life.
To remain silent.
HOLY POWER:)
Sometimes you are insulted and your feelings have been hurt. You have what to say. You can really sock it to him/her good!!
But you don't.....
Says the Rav:
זאת היא גבורת הקודש של החיים
That is the HOLY POWER of life.
To remain silent.
HOLY POWER:)
Freedom From Slavery
Continuing a thought from a recent post.....
It's actually a subtle form of masochism. We - me, you and the rest of society, allow others who have no right to be our Masters to rule over our emotions and moods.
She said something offensive.
He didn't do me the favor I asked.
She saw me and didn't say hello.
He didn't invite me to his wedding.
I am offended.
This person is your Master and your emotions are his slave.
Remember sweetest friends. People without inadequacies and glaring weaknesses are not only rare. They don't exist. If she wasn't friendly, it isn't YOUR problem. It's hers. Allowing yourself to get all bent out of shape about it makes you a pathetic victim of human shortcomings.
We all need to resolve to feel good and happy REGARDLESS of whether our friend Danny calls to wish mazel tov when we get engaged or if our friend Chani likes our new outfit.
Think about it....
It's actually a subtle form of masochism. We - me, you and the rest of society, allow others who have no right to be our Masters to rule over our emotions and moods.
She said something offensive.
He didn't do me the favor I asked.
She saw me and didn't say hello.
He didn't invite me to his wedding.
I am offended.
This person is your Master and your emotions are his slave.
Remember sweetest friends. People without inadequacies and glaring weaknesses are not only rare. They don't exist. If she wasn't friendly, it isn't YOUR problem. It's hers. Allowing yourself to get all bent out of shape about it makes you a pathetic victim of human shortcomings.
We all need to resolve to feel good and happy REGARDLESS of whether our friend Danny calls to wish mazel tov when we get engaged or if our friend Chani likes our new outfit.
Think about it....
Rabbi Mordechai Greenberg - Shabbat Bi-Shabato Behar 5763
The Rambam rules that the sanctity of both Jerusalem and the Temple itself will never be cancelled. "However, it is written, 'And I will make your Temples desolate' [Vayikra 26:31]. The sages explained that even when they are desolate they maintain their sanctity." [Hilchot Beit Habechira 6:16].
The book "Doresh Tzion" – a collection of sermons by the founders of the settlements in Eretz Yisrael who were disciples of the GRA – includes a sermon by Rabbi Yosef Hasofer from the year 5626 (1866). In his talk he links the counting of the Omer and the holiday of giving the Torah to the sanctity of Jerusalem.
The counting of the Omer begins right after Pesach, when Bnei Yisrael were extricated from forty-nine levels of impurity. Every day they left behind one impurity and in parallel they entered into a higher level of purity. On Shavuot they reached the fiftieth gate, at the highest level of purity. Thus mitzva of counting was given to the later generations because these days between Pesach and Shavuot are unique days in which impurity can be replaced by holiness. And that is the reason that we begin the days of the count with a sacrifice of barley, a food for animals, and end with wheat. "Go out and declare in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, This is what G-d said: I remember for you the kindness of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed Me in the desert..." [Yirmiyahu 2:2]. Jerusalem (above) followed G-d through the desert. And Jerusalem down below is in touch with Jerusalem above, "as a city which has been joined together" [Tehillim 122:3]. That explains why we say after the counting of the Omer every night that we want to be "purified and sanctified by a holiness from above" –the sanctity of Jerusalem in heaven.
(Experts in hidden meanings have counted the letters, and they find that the numerical values of "Knesset Yisrael," "Yerushalayim shel Maala," and "Sefirat Ha'Omer" are all the same, a value equal to 1071.)
Thus, the days of the counting of the Omer have a potential for a great uplifting, and for the highest level of holiness. However, they can also be a time of a great downfall, and this means that during this time a person must be very careful.
We note that there are two special days during the Omer which are not under the control of "evil shells" – these are the twentieth and the forty-second days of the Omer, and that this is well known by those with knowledge of mysticism. Because of this, when the disciples of the GRA began their activities in Eretz Yisrael and in settling in Jerusalem in the year 5572 (1812), they made sure to do their activities on those two days. What is even more amazing is that these two days correspond to the fifth of Iyar, the date of Yom Haatzmaut, and the twenty-seventh of Iyar, the day when the main capture of Jerusalem took place in the Six Day War.
Based on the concept noted above that Jerusalem accompanied Yisrael in the desert, Rabbi Neventzal developed a remarkable thought. In the war against Amalek, Moshe stood "on the top of the hill" [Shemot 17:10]. The use of the word "the" implies a specific identifiable hill. This refers to Jerusalem, as is written, "To the mountain of Mor and to the hill of Levona" [Shir Hashirim 4:6]. And "rosh hagiv'ah," the top of the hill, is the same in numerical value as Yerushalayim. We know that as long as Amalek continues to exist the Throne of G-d is not complete, as is written, "for there is a hand on the Throne of G-d" [Shemot 17:16], where the word "kess" is a throne, but is written without the letter aleph. The Throne of G-d is Jerusalem, as is written, "At that time Jerusalem will be called the Throne of G-d" [Yirmiyahu 3:17]. This explains why the war centered on Jerusalem. Rabbi Neventzal quotes from his teacher, Rabbi Pertzovitz, who calculated that the day when Amalek attacked Bnei Yisrael in the desert was the twenty-eighth of Iyar. "The conclusion could not be more startling than this. The war of Bnei Yisrael against Amalek took place on Mount Moriah, on the twenty-eighth day of Iyar!" [This is quoted in his sefer sichot al hatorah]
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