The Art Of Listening

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Someone once said - "What is the difference between a monologue and a dialogue? A monologue is when one person talks and everybody listens. A dialogue is when two people talkk and NOBODY listens." 

If you think about, it is IMPOSSIBLE for words to fully describe our feelings or emotions. For example, "I was scared" can mean a TRILLION different things to people. How intense was the fear? Countless levels. What other emotions did the fear conjure up? What was the fear associated with? etc. etc.  Moreover, in the words of the Philosophers - we can only talk "about" things but not the thing itself. Words are very useful but don't fully encapsulate the message.

This is compounded by the fact that when we talk with others, we often aren't listening to the other person but are just waiting for him to finish so that we can say what we want to say.

What is true listening?  Clearing out your mind completely and absorbing the message that the other person is trying to convey. Seeing through the words to the core message. Noticing tone of voice, inflection, facial expressions, body language etc. etc. and not waiting to express OURSELVES but fully absorbing what the other is trying to express.

This will enhance your essential humanity. 

In the words of Rav Yaakov Moshe ztz"l:

 

גם בעל חי שומע, אבל אינו מקשיב. רק האדם הוא המקשיב כי רק הנשמה היא המקשיבה ולא הגוף - וההבדל בין אדם לאדם תלוי במדת הקשבתם. ואם אנו רוצים להבחין במדת קרבת ענין אל הלב, נוכל להבחין זאת מאופן הקשבתו של מי שהענין נוגע לו.

Even animals HEAR but they don't LISTEN. Only a person listens because only a soul listens and not a body - The difference between people depends on the amount of listening they do. If we want to discern how close a matter is to one's heart we can do so by seeing how much a person listens to a matter that pertains to him.