Rav Yitzchak Dershowitz
“What is Gadlus? In Halacha we find that a child has reached sufficient maturity - termed, growth or “Gadlus” if he understands and practices “Tzror Vizorko Egoz Vinotlo” - he will throw away a useless stone but will take an edible nut.
“But not only is a young child’s maturity and intelligence tested by his ability to differentiate between what has true purpose and what is only a plaything. We are all tested that way. We have our cars; we have furniture. What do they mean to us? How do we view them? Do we view them as functional objects - a car as a means of transportation, a chair as something to sit on, or must they become objects of beauty - ends in themselves where every feature is something to be excited about and even a little scratch becomes a major catastrophe? (I remember how the Lakewood Mashgiach, Rav Nosson Wachtfogel [shlita] (ZTL), used to call furniture “di heltzer” - the pieces of wood!)
“The Rosh Yeshiva would always say, One has to know the difference between an “Ikkor” - something purposeful and important, and a “Tofeil” - something which is unimportant in itself and serves only as an aid to achieving and obtaining the “Ikkor”. (“He once added an important point: a “Tofeil” does not mean a “smaller Ikkor”, rather it means something which has no value whatsoever in itself.”) And the Rosh Yeshiva taught that what is not related to Torah has no value - it is not “Tofeis Makom” - it has no place whatsoever in the real world (whose essence is Hashem and His Torah).
“What were the chairs like in the Yeshiva dining room in those days? They were simple non matching chairs that were picked up from closed down stores or hotels. What was the food like? Everything was as simple as could be. I remember how on Shabbosos the Rosh Yeshiva would sit and talk with us “in learning”. The hot “cholent” would be served, but the Rosh Yeshiva would continue talking. Invariably by the time we ate, the “cholent” was no longer hot. I’m sorry to say that at first I didn’t understand why the Rosh Yeshiva didn’t interrupt the “talking in learning” for a while . . . Then I realized what a lesson (in Ahavas Torah and in what should interest and give a Ben Torah pleasure) we were being taught.”
Rav Yosef Kaufman shlita described the Shabbos table succinctly: “Yes, the Rosh Yeshiva asked a Menagen to sing a few Nigunim (usually two) and of course there was food to eat; but if you wanted to ‘make the eating count’ you didn’t belong there; you didn’t last long. It was a Shulchan Lifnei Hashem (table set in the presence of Hashem)!
As for how the Rosh Yeshiva ate his own food, that was a lesson in itself. It was a lesson in eating without pursuing pleasure; eating with total self control, l’sheim shomayim - for the sake of being healthy to serve Hashem . . . Prishus!
“The Rosh Yeshiva knew exactly how much he needed to eat,” tells Rav Yaakov Weissberg shlita, “and he never ate more. If they brought him a piece of chicken that was slightly bigger than he wanted to eat, he would leave the extra over. If it was too large, he would ask for a second plate, cut off and put away the extra food, and only then begin to eat.”
“Once Mrs. Berman o.h., the devoted yeshiva cook who always tended to the Rosh Yeshiva’s needs with the greatest care, decided that since the Rosh Yeshiva was always busy ‘speaking in learning’ by the Shabbos meals and could hardly manage to cut his own food, it would be a good idea if she cut off all the meat from his chicken in advance. She did that but then was bothered by how small the portion seemed to be, so she cut off the meat from a second piece and put it all on the same plate.”
“The Rosh Yeshiva ate between ‘talking in learning’ as usual. When he was about halfway through with his portion he glanced at his plate. He then took one or two more small pieces and left over all the rest.”
The Rosh Yeshiva didn’t focus on his food at all for that matter. Every now and then he would stick in his fork and take something. If he was sitting with talmidim he “spoke in learning;” if he was by himself he always had a sefer before him to study from. His rebbitzin o.h. said she doesn’t remember him ever eating [alone] without an open sefer in front of him. His grandson, Rav Isser Zalman Schwartzman remembers him eating while looking intently in a Mishneh LaMelech (an extremely complicated commentary) and the table was piled with s’forim. Finally, as spoken of at length elsewhere in this book, (and heard by this writer from Rav Schneur zt'l) it should be noted that the Rosh Yeshiva trained himself to “think in learning” at all times and even in the most trying situations, and he certainly did so while eating.
One of the Rosh Yeshiva’s best talmidim related to this writer the following: The Rosh Yeshiva once called me over with his usual sweet smile and hinted to me that it is time to think of marriage. Then he looked at me and said that I should put on some weight, and suggested that I eat a lot of a certain food (“Ihr darft essen herring a sach”). Why that particular food? Because it tastes good and therefore won’t be a burden for you to eat and will thus allow you to “think in learning!”
It would seem that the Rosh Yeshiva was worried. If he encourages a talmid to spend more time eating then “Torah mah tehei oleha?” - What will happen to all those moments that could be spent in learning? So he hit on this solution. [Incidentally, one can see the Rosh Yeshiva’s sanctity and his attitude towards eating in general. To us a tasty food would be counter productive - it would take our minds away from “thinking in learning”, not remove the “burden” of eating!]
This writer, and other talmidim noticed that the Rosh Yeshiva always left over a sizeable amount from everything he ate or drank, in fulfillment of the “Ta’anis Ha’Raavad” (fast prescribed by Rabbeinu Avrohom ben Dovid) quoted in sefer “Y’sod HaTshuva” of Rabbeinu Yonah. The Ra’avad there says that refraining from completing a meal when one still has a desire to eat or drink will remind him of his spiritual purpose, will help him develop self control and will atone for his sins, even more than a weekly fast.
At times the Rosh Yeshiva could forget to eat altogether. . . .
Rav Herschel Rosenham shlita once had to chauffeur the Rosh Yeshiva in N.Y. He stood inside the apartment, near the door waiting for the Rosh Yeshiva to take his coat and leave. The Rebbitzin o.h. came over, wrapped up a piece of sponge cake and put it in the Rosh Yeshiva’s coat pocket. She then turned to R’ Hershel and said, “ulai v'ulai . . . just maybe he’ll notice something bulky in his pocket . . . And just maybe he’ll put his hand in his pocket and take it out, . . . just maybe he’ll open it up, and . . . just maybe he’ll eat it. Otherwise he won’t eat anything the whole day!”
In any case, his own needs were deferred without hesitation for the sake of others . . .
A bochur called the Rosh Yeshiva to arrange an entrance farher (test). The Rosh Yeshiva told him to come the following Thursday evening at seven. The bochur was there early, waited a bit and then knocked. The rebbitzin o.h. opened the door and asked the bochur to please come in and wait in a side room where the Rosh Yeshiva won’t see him when he enters. Why? Because the Rosh Yeshiva left that morning seven o’clock and since he was not home he undoubtedly didn’t eat the entire day. However, he will never allow a yeshiva bochur to sit and wait for him just because he needs to eat (in fact the Rosh Yeshiva could never let anyone wait for him as will be discussed in the section on his Kovod HaBrios) therefore, if he sees you he won’t touch a drop of food until after your farher is over. (Years later the “bochur,” commented: “I was seventeen years old at the time while the Rosh Yeshiva was an elderly man; I had eaten breakfast, and lunch, and supper, whereas the Rosh Yeshiva hadn’t eaten anything; yet the Rosh Yeshiva wouldn’t dream of asking me to wait for just a few minutes so that he could eat a morsel of food!) After what was not longer than about ten minutes, the rebbitzin called him in for his “Farher”. (Rav Yisroel Shurkin)
"When it came to the clothes he wore things were not any different," recalls Rav Yaakov Weissberg. “Yes, the Rosh Yeshiva was neat and clean, but it was very difficult to convince him that it was time for a new hat or some other garment. He wore it until there was absolutely no question in his mind that he couldn’t wear it any longer. ”
[Needless to say, as stinting as the Rosh Yeshiva was when it came to personal needs, he was extremely generous to others, always seeking their comfort and well being. This was true with anyone and everyone, all the more so with Bnei Torah where ahavas yisroel was coupled with ahavas Torah. He once said, the true value of money is that it can be given to a yeshiva bochur to learn Torah, and when it came to giving something to yeshiva bochurim, the Rosh Yeshiva was open handed indeed. He was always offering bochurim money - pocket money, money for clothing, for other needs, even for Bein Hazmanim (intersession) vacations.
This writer cherishes his very first encounter with the Rosh Yeshiva till this day. In order to meet with the Rosh Yeshiva for an entrance “farher” it was necessary to travel to Fleishmans, New York to the hotel where the Rosh Yeshiva was staying. I traveled “by thumb” as was the practice then. When I arrived, the Rosh Yeshiva tested me. (That “farher” is a story in itself. Suffice it to say that before I entered I was shaking like a leaf. To be tested by the Gaon HaDor, the Sar HaTorah, the greatest Torah scholar of the generation . . . ! But as soon as the test started I lost all my nervousness. The Rosh Yeshiva was so excited, exhilarated, and enthusiastic about every piece of g’moro, every Tosfos, every question, every answer, that it felt like he didn’t focus on me at all; it was as if he wasn’t even testing me. I never saw such love of learning, such Simchas HaTorah in my life!)
After being accepted I prepared to go home right then and there. The Rosh Yeshiva, however, wouldn’t hear of it and insisted that I sleep overnight in the hotel, at his expense. The next morning the Rosh Yeshiva would not allow me to go back using the “method” with which I came. Instead he sent me back by bus and of course, again covered the expense.]
