I saw a piece in a Jewish publication that caused me indescribable anguish. A man wrote a letter with great venom, vitriol and disdain about Charedim, saying things that are either not true or irrelevant to anything of significance. I happen to know this man. He is a friend of my family. All of his children are serious Bnei Torah, some are even talmidei chachomim. He davens three times a day, keeps Shabbos, kosher etc. etc. Yet he hates those who are more serious and dedicated to Torah than he. Why? Why can't people just accept that other people think differently and live differently?
Here is one answer [I believe] - It takes a LOT of intellectual sophistication, maturity and emotional intelligence and many people lack those qualities.
The inability to accept the "other" as an independent entity worthy of respect regardless of one's own predilections carries over into all areas of life. Such a person is constantly critical and unaccepting of his spouse because in HISTORY there has not been a couple who were completely or even remotely alike, because men and women are wired to think and behave differently. Such a person is a critical parent, boss etc. etc.
Such a person is also miserable because he looks around and all he sees is bad. For in his eyes, whatever doesn't square with HIS way is bad. I happen to know this person and he is quite unhappy, nebuch.
If he would ask me I would tell him that his quality of life would improve considerably if he would change his way of thinking and embrace other people for who they are in a non-judgmental way.
Hashem is the only true judge. [Dayanim in a Beis Din are merely His shlichim]. So let Hashem do His job and we can do our job or looking at each other with an ayin tova.
