Honestly - are you much different today than you were a month ago before Rosh Hashana, Aseres Yemei Teshuva with all the selichos, Yom Kippur, Succos, Shmini Atzeres, Simchas Torah etc.?
NO??????????????
JOIN THE CLUB!!!! It is a VERY big club.
But how can that be?? So much TESHUVA and INTENSE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES?
But I am the same ol' guy I was - with all of my faults and failings.
The great Gaon Rav Leib Mallin ztz"l, RY Beis HaTalmud explained: We did teshuva on our aveiros but didn't UPROOT them at the source. They were festering there the whole time. It is like cutting out a cancer but only what is above the skin but what is beneath the surface remains. It just grows again - and spreads! רח"ל!!!
BUUUUUTTTTTTT - there is hooopppeee! Teshuva is NOT a מצות עשה שהזמן גרמא. You can continue the process. Try to examine what you do, why you do it and how to raise yourself to the next level in a lasting way!!!
