What Makes a Teacher into a Parent Is Not What He Does From 9 to 5

Rabbi Frand

The Torah states: “These are the offspring of Aharon and Moshe on the day Hashem spoke with Moshe at Mount Sinai: These are the names of the sons of Aharon, the firstborn was Nadav, and Avihu, Elazar, and Ithamar.” [Bamidbar 3:1-2] This is very peculiar. The Torah begins by introducing the fact that it will be listing the children of both Aharon and Moshe and then proceeds to only list the names of the sons of Aharon!

Rashi points out this oddity and answers that since Moshe taught the sons of Aharon Torah, they were also considered his children. This teaches, Rashi states [based on Sanhedrin 19b], that whoever teaches his friend’s son Torah, Scripture considers it as if he gave birth to him.

The super-commentaries on Rashi all discuss this Rashi. We will only cite the Maharal because of constraints of time. The Maharal in his Gur Aryeh asks a simple question: Did Moshe only teach Torah to his nephews? He taught Torah to all of Yisroel, so why not call all the Children of Israel Moshe’s offspring? The Maharal provides an interesting answer: The Children of Israel are different because G-d commanded Moshe to teach them Torah! There was no special commandment to give extra lessons to Aharon’s children.

In other words, indeed, he taught Torah to all of Israel but that was his job. If you are only “doing your job” than you do not gain the status of “Scripture considers it as if you have given birth to them.” However, the fact that he learned extra with the sons of Aharon, something he did not need to do – that is what earned him the title of “it’s as if he was their father.” A parent knows no boundaries; there is no such thing as “overtime” or “I have fulfilled my contract already” when parents interact with their children. A parent is there all the time for his children. That is what makes Moshe’s extra learning with Bnei Aharon “as if he gave birth to them.”

That which makes a teacher into a parent is not what he does from nine to five. Rather, what makes a teacher into a parent is when he acts over and beyond the call of duty (lifnim m’shuras ha’din).

The statement “Whoever teaches his friend’s son is considered by the Torah as if he fathered him” is an oft-quoted teaching of Chazal. I want to share with you a “story” and then “the rest of the story” about someone for whom this was more than just a teaching of Chazal—it was an actual reality.

Rabbi Heschy Weinreb, tells over a famous incident, but he adds a not-so-famous addition to the well-known story.

Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, zt”l, was in the United States of America at the end of the 1930s. In fact, he was (among other places) in Baltimore, Maryland. While in Baltimore, he stayed in the house of Rabbi Shimon Schwab. As the storm clouds were gathering over Europe and many people realized that the future in Europe was bleak, Rav Elchonon had the opportunity to stay in America.

Rabbi Weinreb writes that someone named Charles Fogel begged Rav Elchonon not to go back to Europe. Rav Elchonon’s response was, “I belong with my students and I cannot abandon them.” He told Mr. Fogel, “Just like a father does not abandon his child, a Rebbe does not abandon his disciples.”

This response goes a lot further than merely, “Whoever teaches his friend’s son Torah, it is as if he is his child.” Pardon the crassness of this expression, but this is “putting one’s money where his mouth is.” Rav Elchonon went back to Europe and was killed a martyr’s death by the Nazis in the Kovno ghetto together with his students from the Yeshiva in Baronovitch.

Rav Elchonon had the opportunity to stay in America. He was considered the premier disciple of the Chofetz Chaim. It is said that the Chofetz Chaim wanted Rav Elchonon to succeed him as spiritual leader of Klal Yisrael. However, he could not abandon his disciples because “a father does not leave a child.”

This is the famous story that many of us have heard. Rabbi Weinreb adds that when he was learning in Rabbi Yakov Yosef Yeshiva (“RJJ”), he had a Rebbe named Rav Shmuel Dovid Warshavchik. Rav Shmuel Dovid was a charismatic Rebbe and Torah luminary in RJJ who exuded scintillating warmth. He had learned in the Baranovich Yeshiva, and Rav Elchonon had been his Rebbe. Rav Shmuel Dovid Warshavchik told his own students that when Rav Elchonon was in America and these students were left back in Europe in Baranovich, they did not know what was going to be. However, they all knew clearly that Rav Elchonon would come back to them. They knew he would not leave them. And that is what happened.

Rav Shmuel Dovid was fortunate that he himself did make it to America and he was a Marbitz Torah (disseminator of Torah knowledge) and was a Rebbe in RJJ. Most of his classmates in Baranovich were not that fortunate, and did not make it. Rav Shmuel Dovid would say, “We teenage boys who were stuck in Baranovitch knew that he would return. We were absolutely certain that he would not abandon us. He risked his life to rejoin us. We knew that he considered himself a father, and we felt that way towards him. We were his children.

This is a poignant example of “Anyone who teaches his friend’s child Torah, it is as if he is his own child.” Anyone who is in the teaching profession always aspires to such a level of connection with his students, but Rav Elchonon literally believed it and gave his life for it!

Baranovich was not like Slabodka. It was a “Yeshiva Ketana.” It was for teenagers, younger kids. However, Rav Elchonon felt that these were his children and he gave up his life for them. This is a concrete example of the Rabbinic equation between disciples and children (ha’Banim – elu ha’Talmidim).