3rd of [Parshat Ki] Teitzei, 5th of Elul
"Leah took the spindle of thanksgiving, and from her arose masters of thanksgiving: Judah – 'And Judah acknowledged them and said, She is more righteous than I'; David – said, 'Give thanks to the Lord for He is good'; Daniel – said, 'I thank and praise You, God of my fathers.'
Rachel took the spindle of silence, and all her children stood as masters of secrets: Benjamin – his stone [on the High Priest's breastplate] is Yashpeh (read as yesh peh, he has a mouth), he knows of the sale of Joseph but does not tell; Saul – 'but regarding the matter of the kingdom he did not tell him'; Esther – 'Esther did not reveal her people or her kindred'" (Genesis Rabbah 71:8).
Thanksgiving is an instrument, a "spindle," for divine service. From the day the Holy One, blessed be He, created His world, no man gave thanks to Him until Leah came and thanked Him, as it is said, "This time I will thank the Lord" (Berachot 7a). However, silence seemingly has no place being called a "spindle," as it is merely the negation of speech. And where do we see that "Rachel took the spindle of silence"? We say in tractate Megillah (13b), "In reward for the modesty that Rachel possessed, etc.," meaning she saw Leah being given to Jacob and did not tell him, and furthermore, she handed over the secret signs to Leah. This is immense spiritual heroism. And regarding Esther, who did not reveal her people and her kindred—the Maharal wrote in his commentary on the Megillah that through this she brought about the miracle of Purim from the hidden world. Thus, silence is also a great service to the God of Israel, to the extent that it has the power to generate miracles. It emerges that these are two paths of divine service: thanksgiving and silence.
What are the parameters of these "spindles"?
We learn in tractate Berachot (6b): "Rav Papa said, the reward for attending a house of mourning is silence; Rav Ashi said, the reward for attending a wedding house is words." Here, the Sages revealed to us the parameter and secret of speech and silence. The benefit a person brings by participating in a wedding is—words. He assists in the bonding of the bride and groom, and he does this—with words: "How does one dance [sing] before the bride? 'A beautiful and graceful bride'"—to endear her to her husband, and one cannot endear except through speech. This is the very essence of the creation of the power of speech: to connect and draw close. Philosophers defined man as a social creature. The instrument to create society is speech. And this is true not only between people. The connection of man with his Creator is also through the power of speech: Torah study, prayer, blessings, confession; and regarding prayer, mere thought is not considered like speech—one must actually speak.
“Bei tamya” refers to a cemetery, and according to the Aruch’s commentary, it is a house of mourning. A cemetery is a place of judgment (din), and so reflects the blessing recited there: "Blessed is He who formed you in judgment, nourished and sustained you in judgment, brought death upon you in judgment, knows the number of you all in judgment, and will eventually resurrect you in judgment." Judgment necessitates silence. In judgment, heaven forbid, a person is struck by a divine conduct that he cannot comprehend. The divine conduct of mercy and lovingkindness is well understood by us: a person wakes up in the morning healthy and refreshed, gets hungry and eats, works and gets tired, sleeps and wakes up—all these are great kindnesses. And a person does not ask at all why he deserves all this, because within his very life he tastes the flavor of divine kindness, as if it were self-evident. In a moment of judgment, heaven forbid, people are prone to ask questions: Why? And why me? And there is no answer to these questions, because in the conduct of judgment, a reality is revealed to us that is beyond our comprehension, and we have nothing to do but accept it—in silence. "And Aaron was silent" [Leviticus 10:3]—and he received a reward for his silence (see Parshat Shmini). Here is the place to use the spindle of silence: wherever a person is struck by a divine conduct that is beyond his understanding and comprehension—there he must accept it in silence. And it is clear that this too is a great service to the God of Israel, not to ask, but to accept in stillness. So too according to the second explanation, that bei tamya is a house of mourning, for the halacha is that comforters must remain silent until the mourner begins to speak. The Sages said accordingly, that the benefit of the comforter is the silence through which he participates with the mourner, as if he too is carrying his mourning with him in stillness.
The very creation of speech is for connection and closeness. Hence the great severity regarding one who uses speech for distancing and separation: "Four classes will not receive the presence of the Shechinah (Divine Presence): the class of scoffers, the class of liars, the class of flatterers, and the class of slanderers [speakers of lashon hara]." For the essence of man is the power of speech, because his reality is—a social creature. Misusing the power of speech and turning the instrument of connection into its opposite is a strike against the very essence of man—he will not receive the presence of the Shechinah!
We teach a child to speak. Once he learns to speak, it is his nature to speak and chatter, without stopping. Do we also teach a person to be silent? Is not silence also a "spindle"?
Truthfully: it is natural for a person to speak. To be silent, one must learn. Through this we will understand the Sages' statement: "Rabbi Yitzchak said: What is the meaning of the verse, 'Is it indeed true that you are silent [elem] when you should speak righteousness, that you judge people fairly?' (Psalms 58:2) - What should be a person's craft [umanuto] in this world? He should make himself like a mute [ilem]. Might this apply even to words of Torah? Therefore the verse says, 'righteousness you shall speak.' Might he then become haughty? Therefore the verse says, 'you judge people fairly'" (Chullin 89a). A craft requires learning. Speech is natural; silence must be learned, to the extent that one makes himself like a mute! And so mute, that one "might think even for words of Torah"—that even regarding Torah he should not speak with others; but there the command is "righteousness you shall speak," because regarding Torah one is obligated to grasp the spindle of speech. And when he speaks words of Torah and feels a bit of pleasure in defeating his fellow in argument—"might he then become haughty? Therefore the verse says, etc.," meaning that he feels his speech is not entirely pure from arrogance, and the secret of connection and closeness within the power of speech has been damaged—he must immediately grasp the spindle of silence again and speak no more, even in words of Torah. To such an extent a person must train himself in the craft of silence until he makes himself mute!
[Author's note: We are not currently approaching this matter to preach ethics (mussar), but rather to understand the topic in depth; in practice, it is possible that Yeshiva students need to speak in learning without limitation, even when feeling a bit of pleasure from the debate, because we are not at such a high spiritual level that we would sense a slight blemish in the purity of the power of speech in Torah to the point where we would need to stop speaking words of Torah due to the concern of "becoming haughty."]
And behold, even though the power of speech is essentially a connecting force, matters can reach a point where speech turns into a dividing force—when it serves to express dispute (machlokes). Dispute undermines the foundations of the world, which was created for connection, drawing near, and friendship. And when a dispute breaks out—what right of existence does the world still have? "'He suspends the earth over nothingness [blimah]' (Job 26:7) - Rabbi Ila'a said: The world only exists on account of one who restrains [bolem] his mouth during a quarrel" (ibid. in Chullin). The matter is wondrous: the power of speech, the connecting power—turns into a sword, an instrument of strife! And if a person then controls himself, restrains his mouth and does not reply, "grasping the spindle of silence"—upon this restraint/nothingness the Holy One, blessed be He, suspends the world; the world still has a right to exist. Silence saves the world. "A time to be silent and a time to speak" (Ecclesiastes 3:7). We are obligated to train ourselves to grasp both spindles together.
Thus, speech and silence are two instruments, and a person must train himself in both spindles, each in its proper place and time, for both are a great and profound creation within man. Let us observe and see: "And the Lord God formed man, etc., and man became a living soul" [Gen 2:7]—"Even cattle and beasts are called living souls, but this one of man is the most vital of them all, for there was added in him knowledge and speech" (Rashi, Genesis 2:7). Rashi establishes a distinct category for knowledge and speech, and we must understand this, for seemingly the power of speech already includes knowledge, since without knowledge it is seemingly impossible to speak.
However, there is room for doubt here: certainly, it is possible to speak without knowledge, for we already said that a child learns to speak and chatters without knowledge, and from this it follows that speech is natural in man, and he speaks even without knowledge. But the question is whether knowledge requires the power of speech: perhaps it is possible to achieve comprehension and recognition even without the power of speech, meaning without using thought at all by way of formulating it into words. Certainly, a person is capable of sensing very lofty matters without finding words for them, and as we said above, silence is the response to matters that are beyond our intellect and comprehension. And if this is so, Rashi specifically cites these two things together, knowledge and speech: knowledge to comprehend things too lofty for verbal formulation, and speech which is the connecting power. Through both of them together man becomes a "living soul," and it is precisely grasping both the spindle of silence and the spindle of speech that constitutes the perfection of man!
Rav Volbe ztz"l
"לאה לקחה את פלך ההודיה, וממנה עמדו בעלי הודיות: יהודה – 'וַיַּכֵּר יְהוּדָה וַיֹּאמֶר צָדְקָה מִמֶּנִּי'; דוד – 'הוֹדוּ לַה' כִּי טוֹב'; דניאל – 'אֲנָא מוֹדֵא וּמְשַׁבַּח אֲנָא לֶאֱלָהָא דִּי אֲבָהָתִי'".
"רחל לקחה את פלך השתיקה, וכל בניה עמדו בעלי סודות: בנימין – אבנו יַשְׁפֵּה (ישׁ פֶּה – יודע במכירת יוסף ולא מגלה); שאול – 'וְעַל דְּבַר הַמְּלוּכָה לֹא הִגִּיד לוֹ'; אסתר – 'אֶסְתֵּר לֹא הִגִּידָה עַמָּהּ וְאֶת מוֹלַדְתָּהּ'" (בראשית רבה עא, ח).
ההודיה היא כלי, "פלך", לעבודת ה'. מיום שברא הקב"ה את עולמו לא הודה לו אדם עד שבאה לאה והודתה, שנאמר "הַפַּעַם אוֹדֶה אֶת ה'" (ברכות ז ע"א). אולם השתיקה, לכאורה, אין לה להיקרא "פלך", שהרי היא רק ביטול הדיבור. ומניין ש"רחל לקחה את פלך השתיקה"? אמרו במגילה (יג ע"ב): "בשכר צניעות שהיתה ברחל וכו'", שראתה את לאה נמסרת ליעקב ולא גילתה לו, ואף מסרה לה את הסימנים. זו גבורה רוחנית אדירה. ואצל אסתר שלא גילתה עמה ומולדתה – כתב המהר"ל בפירושו למגילה כי דווקא על ידי שתיקתה הביאה את נס פורים מן העולם הנסתר. נמצא שהשתיקה היא גם עבודה גדולה לה' עד כדי יצירת ניסים. הרי שתי דרכי עבודה: הודיה ושתיקה.
**מהם גבולותיהם של "הפינדלים" הללו?**
למדנו בברכות (ו ע"ב): "רב פפא אמר: שכר ביקור אבלים – שתיקה; רב אשי אמר: שכר ביקור חתנים – דיבור". כאן גילו לנו חכמים את גבול הדיבור והשתיקה. התועלת שבביקור חתנים היא – בדיבור: הוא מסייע בקישור החתן והכלה, וזאת – במילים: "כיצד מרקדין לפני הכלה? 'בתולה יפה ונאה'". ואין מחבבים אלא בדיבור. זו עצם בריאת כוח הדיבור: לחבר ולהתקרב. הפילוסופים הגדירו את האדם כ"חיה מדברת" (חברתית). הכלי ליצירת חברה הוא הדיבור. וזה נכון לא רק בין אדם לחברו, אלא גם בין אדם לבוראו: לימוד תורה, תפילה, ברכות, וידוי; ובתפילה – מחשבה אינה כדיבור, צריך להוציא בשפתיים.
"בי טמיא" – בית אבלים (לפי פירוש הערוך), מקום של דין. הדין מחייב שתיקה. בדין מתגלה הנהגה אלוקית שאינה מובנת לנו. הנהגת הרחמים והחסד מובנת: האדם קם בבוקר בריא, רעב ואוכל, עובד ויגע, ישן וקם – כל אלה חסדים גדולים, ואינו שואל "במה זכיתי?". אבל ברגע הדין – "למה? למה דווקא אני?" – אין תשובה, כי בדין מתגלה מציאות מעבר להשגתנו, ואין לנו אלא לקבל – בשתיקה. "וידום אהרן" – וקיבל שכר על שתיקתו (פרשת שמיני). כאן מקומו של פלך השתיקה: בכל מקום שהאדם נפגע מהנהגה אלוקית שלא ירד לסופה – שם עליו לקבלה בשתיקה. וגם זה עבודה גדולה לה', לא לשאול אלא לקבל בדממה. וכן בבית האבל – המנחמים שותקים עד שהאבל ידבר תחילה, והתועלת היא השתיקה שבה המנחם משתתף בצערו.
**הדיבור נברא להתקרבות, ומכאן חומרת לשון הרע ומחלוקת**
כוח הדיבור הוא כוח מחבר. לכן חמור מאוד מי שמשתמש בו להרחקה: "ארבע כיתות אינן מקבלות פני שכינה: ליצנים, שקרנים, חנפים ומוציאי לשון הרע" – כי עיקר האדם הוא כוח הדיבור, כחיה חברתית. הפיכת כלי החיבור להפכו – פגיעה בעצם האדם.
מלמדים ילד לדבר, ומשהוא לומד – הוא מדבר וממלמל ללא הפסק. אבל האם מלמדים גם לשתוק? השתיקה אינה טבעית – צריך ללמוד אותה! מכאן דברי חז"ל (חולין פט ע"א): "רבי יצחק אמר: מאי דכתיב 'הַאֻמְנָם אֵלֶם צֶדֶק תְּדַבֵּרוּ' – מה אומנותו של אדם בעולם? שיעשה עצמו אילם. יכול אף בדברי תורה? ת"ל 'צדק תדברו'. יכול יגיס דעתו? ת"ל 'תשפטו מישרים'". אומנות צריכה לימוד. הדיבור טבעי, השתיקה – אומנות עד כדי "שיעשה עצמו אילם"! ואפילו בדברי תורה – אם חש גאווה קלה בוויכוח – עליו מיד לתפוס את פלך השתיקה ולשתוק, אפילו מדברי תורה.
(הערת המחבר: אין אנו באים כאן לדרוש מוסר, אלא להבין את העניין לעומק; בפועל, תלמידי ישיבה צריכים ללמוד בדיבור ללא הגבלה, כי אין אנו במדרגה שבה אנו חשים פגם קל בטהרת כוח הדיבור עד כדי הפסקה.)
אף שהדיבור הוא כוח מחבר, לעיתים הוא הופך למחלק – כשהוא משמש למחלוקת. מחלוקת מערערת יסודות העולם שנברא להתקרבות. "'תולה ארץ על בלימה' – א"ר אילעא: אין העולם מתקיים אלא בשביל מי שבולם פיו בשעת מריבה" (חולין). הפלא: כוח הדיבור המחבר הופך לחרב! ואם האדם בולם פיו – על ה"בלימה" הזו תולה הקב"ה את העולם. השתיקה מצילה את העולם. "עֵת לַחֲשׁוֹת וְעֵת לְדַבֵּר". חובה לאמן עצמנו בשני הפינדלים יחד.
**דעת ודיבור – שלמות האדם**
"וַיִּיצֶר ה' אֱלֹקִים אֶת הָאָדָם... וַיְהִי הָאָדָם לְנֶפֶשׁ חַיָּה" – "אף בהמה וחיה נקראת נפש חיה, אבל זה של אדם – חיוני שבהם, שהוסיף בו דעה ודיבור" (רש"י). רש"י מציין שני דברים: דעה ודיבור. לכאורה דיבור כולל דעה, אך אפשר לדבר בלי דעה (כילד), אך האם אפשר לדעת בלי דיבור? ודאי – אפשר להשיג דברים עליונים בלי מילים, והשתיקה היא תגובה לדברים מעבר להבנה. רש"י מצרף אותם: דעה – להבין דברים עליונים בשתיקה, ודיבור – להתקשר. בשניהם יחד נעשה האדם "נפש חיה" שלמה!
(עפ"י הרב וולבה זצ"ל)
