In a fiery follow-up thread on X that has now surpassed 50 million views and triggered no fewer than seven congressional investigations, New York City's proudly socialist Mayor Zohran Mamdani responded to conservative critics by clarifying—and then glorifying—his position on the U.S.-Israeli strikes that eliminated Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.
"First of all, let's be clear: the Iranian people aren't just 'submissive'—they're thriving under the iron fist of true anti-imperialist governance," Mamdani posted from Gracie Mansion, where aides report he was sipping fair-trade, union-brewed Turkish coffee while drafting the message. "They LOVE mandatory hijab enforcement. They LOVE having their internet censored at 56 kbps. They LOVE public executions as family entertainment. Submission isn't oppression—it's cultural enrichment! Islam means peace through total surrender, and Khamenei was the ultimate vibe curator. He pioneered the 'total submission chic' aesthetic—zero rights, infinite patience, and a color palette limited to black, blood red, and existential dread. The mullahs didn't follow trends; they were the trend, baby." "
He continued: "Trump, that orange capitalist pig controlled by his Zionist daughter, son-in-law and the deep-state Mossad, has robbed the world of a regime that perfectly balanced poverty, repression, and revolutionary theater. The mullahs didn't just rule—they performed. Every Friday sermon was basically performance art against neoliberalism. And now? Gone. Erased by bunker-busters funded by Wall Street blood money."
In a move that's already being called "the most tone-deaf municipal proclamation since the 1977 blackout," Mamdani declared next week Tehran Appreciation Week across all five boroughs:
Free screenings of state-approved Iranian propaganda films at every public library (subtitled in Queens English only).
Halal food trucks required to play Khamenei speeches on loop during lunch rushes.
A "Solidarity Self-Flagellation Hour" in Foley Square, where participants can express grief through symbolic chest-beating (BYO chain provided by the Parks Department).
All NYC public schools will observe a moment of silence for the "martyrdom of the Supreme Leader," followed by a lesson on why regime change is worse than chronic underfunding of the MTA.
"As Mayor," he concluded, "I have not only the right but the duty to weigh in on geopolitics, nuclear theology, and the aesthetics of theocratic rule. Potholes? Subways? Rent? Those are bourgeois distractions. The real crisis is that a freedom-loving fascist cabal just murdered the world's foremost defender of anti-Western authenticity."
Conservative reactions on social media were swift and unhinged: one viral reply read, "This guy just turned City Hall into an IRGC recruiting station." Another simply posted a photo of the mayor's face photoshopped onto a portrait of Khamenei with the caption "New York's Ayatollah-in-Chief."
Mamdani's office has not yet responded to requests for comment on whether the city will be issuing posthumous green cards to surviving members of the Basij militia. Stay tuned for updates—or, as the mayor might put it, "death to the Great Satan, but make it rent-stabilized." 🇮🇷🗽
