Ignore It!

Men and women both have a yetzer hara. The difference as I see it is that women have a yetzer hara, whereas the men's yetzer hara .... has them. But we both have to control it. How is this done?

Possibility One: Fight it head on. This is the WRONG WAY. If a guy walks down the street thinking "I won't look at girls, I won't look at girls" the result is that he is completely focused on girls - exactly what the yetzer wants.

Possibility Two: ignore it. AHHHHH - that is the correct way. Just don't think about it. Focus on other things. Think for example about how in a mishna Rebbe Akiva argues with Rebbe Tarphon and about the nature of that dispute Abaye argues with Rava in the gemara. On that gemara Rashi and Tosphos argue. On that Rashi and Tosphos the Pnei Yehoshua and the Maharsha argue. On that Pnei Yeshua and Maharsha etc. etc. Wow how those Rabbis argued!! You look up and you arrived at your destination. What about your yetzer? What about your almost irresistible urge to think about the other gender? You forgot all about it! The more you immerse yourselves in other pursuits - the less your yetzer will bother you.

Oh - and get married!

[Based on Tanya Kadisha]