Love - Temporary Madness

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Sweetest friends - when couples are dating they often feel "in love". This feeling NEVER lasts. One should be aware of this at the outset and just use this feeling of excitement to get him/her to stand in the SCARIEST place in the world - under the chuppah!

After the guests have left, the band has packed up their instruments, the checks have been counted and gifts put away [many of them to be rewrapped and passed on to a different couple] la la land sinks under the horizen and real life begins. The goal - to go from la la land to the Promised Land of intense marital satisfaction.

The test is - can one sustain a true lasting love. One does this by deciding that short of my spouses untimely demise, this marriage is going to continue. I am FULLY devoting myself to CONSTANTLY enhancing the relationship and LEARNING more and more and yet more about my spouses needs, wants and desires and then going about filling them. I am also one million percent NEVER going to look, think about or desire to have a relationship with anyone else, even though on the surface they may seem more desirable. This is my first and last husband/wife and I am going to make it happen. I am NOT going to wait for my spouse to do what he/she is obligated [from my perspective] to do for me. He/She owes me NOTHING! I owe her/him the most doting, loving, understanding spouse on earth.

OF COURSE both the husband and wife read this blog so the behavior will be mutual.

AYYYYYYYYYYY - Sweetest friends, so much work goes into making a relationship work and so much understanding goes into making it deeper and deeper. Some people never get divorced but their relationships are SHALLOW! I don't wish that upon you. That is why my Bava Basra is begging me to return and open him again and I keep typing away. I feel like I could go on and on. Sooooo much to say.

BUT - That is for another time bez"H!!!

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL and a special thank you to the many who have emailed me recently with input, which encourages me to believe that in fact my small words may be having an impact on somebody's soul.

And now back to my Bava Basra where I am learning by "coincidence" a perek called get pashut which talks about the obligation to use a multi-folded parchment for a get so that it takes a long time to produce and in the meantime the husband will come to his senses and keep his wife. I gotta get going. :-)

PS - Please pass this on to anyone you think may benefit.