Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Selichos And Your Fellow Man

Selichos are SOOOOOO beautiful, as here.

Think about it....

We spend hours upon hours beseeching Hashem - "We are sooooo sorrryyyyyyy. Please forgive us. PRETTY PLEASE!"

What a geshmake world it would be if people put in a fraction of the same effort into asking forgiveness from those people whom they hurt. But that rarely happens. Either when someone hurts someone else they don't ask for forgiveness [why should I, they reason, s/he has to ask ME for forgiveness] or they ask as lip service to the Jewish custom of asking for forgiveness. Sort of like saying tachanun - nobody really likes it [unfortunately] but it's something we gotta do [a topic for a future post b'rtzos Hashem bli neder].

How deeply people hurt others and are oblivious to the pain they have caused! I work with the assumption that most people aren't psychopaths who lack all ability to empathize. Yet, otherwise upstanding people cause great pain to others, be it a spouse, children, co-workers, friends etc., and go through the teshuva season without making amends. It is relatively easy to apologize to Hashem, especially if everyone is doing it with live music playing in the background and from a prepared text. But to apologize sincerely to your fellow man is far more difficult.

I still have yet to hear of an impending divorce that was called off Tishrei time because each side tearfully admitted guilt, apologized, and took steps never to repeat the offense. That SHOULD happen - but doesn't.

In that spirit - I want to ask everyone forgiveness for any sins of commission or omission. If I have hurt you in any way, PLEASE contact me and tell me what I did and how I can make amends. I have many faults but purposefully hurting others is not one of them.

And to the many who have hurt me over the years, some quite deeply - thank you. I know who you are and you taught me about you, about myself and about life. Emotional pain builds character and I have gratitude to those who helped build my character. I can't hold a grudge, because it weighs so heavily, sometimes it feels like it'll topple me over. So I let go. Thank you:-).

The ikker is not to let others get you down, to fill your heart with continuous simcha and to know that there is ALWAYS HOPE .