Just about the most important thing you can do for your emotional well-being is to cultivate your connection to a community. It gives you a sense of belonging, of importance and being part of something bigger than yourself. It allows you to share experiences. Imagine a wedding - choson-kallah and two witnesses. That's it. DE-PRESSING. It is community that makes it so joyous. Imagine a person sitting shiva and nobody is coming to console. How sad. Most shiva homes are actually often very pleasant or even enjoyable places to be because of the sense of connection that it cultivates [unless it was an especially tragic death in which case "pleasant" or enjoyable" are not the right words]. Most people only truly begin to mourn AFTER the shiva because all the people coming and giving of their time and attention made it so sweet and smooth - even fun - the first week.
A shul is NOT called a "Beis Tfilla" but a "Beis Knesses" because - as the Rav ztz"l explained - the POINT is כינוס - to gather as one. That is one reason why we need a minyan - we must daven as a community. We learn in yeshivos even though hearing shiurim on a computer would be much cheaper because it is not just about the academic knowledge but about creating relationships with friends and rabbeim. There is little that make a person happier than getting together with an ooooold, clooose friend.
As everyone who has ever studied psychology knows, Abraham Maslow [isn't it interesting that just about all of the most prominent psychologists were Jewish?! I understand that we want to control the worlds banks - but to have a monopoly on understanding the human psyche too??] has a hierarchy of needs. First, basic physiological needs such as water sleep shelter and clothing. Then safety needs such as personal and financial security. Then comes social belonging such as family friends and intimacy.
How sad it is that we often allow our jobs to take over our lives and lose out on the invaluable [which strangely enough means "indispensable" or "extremely useful"] benefits of family and friends. Don't just worry about making a living - try hard to make friends. Not the virtual fake friends that are so ubiquitous today but the real deal.
My message is - Don't be too busy for family, friends, Rabbeim etc. Our quality of life is proportionate to the quality of our relationships. This has been scientifically proven and we all have felt this on some level.
My message is - Don't be too busy for family, friends, Rabbeim etc. Our quality of life is proportionate to the quality of our relationships. This has been scientifically proven and we all have felt this on some level.
