Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Combining Some Recent Themes In A Satirical Post

 



Since we recently spoke about Sefaria and abortion [many posts - here is one] and Conservative and Reform rabbis and Rabbas and Tucker Carlson - here is a post that combines them all. 

From a source sheet on Sefaria presented by the great Gaona, Associate Rabba in the Beis Hamikdash [Temple] Beis Kel in the עיר התורה San Antonio [no offense to San Antonians] Harabba HaTzadika Moras "Marina" ["Miriam Necha" in Hebrew?] Shlita:

I quote [I color it red for the blood that will be spilled according to her presentation. I wanted to do pink b/c it is a girlie color and Marina is a girl but refrained b/c there are also men and non-binary who like pink as well as women who don't. Plus - pink wasn't offered as an option]: 

Proposals to limit or block access to reproductive health care in most states reflect a specific Christian definition of the beginning of life, and limit the termination of pregnancy even in instances where Jewish law not only permits, but even requires it. Learning the sources that undergird Judaism’s approach to reproductive rights can help illuminate one of the major struggles of our day in new and, sometimes, surprising ways.

(One content note: These texts talk, not surprisingly, about pregnant women. In the context of our contemporary gender categories, it might be useful to remember that, while many (but not all) cisgender women can get pregnant, so too can some non-binary people, some trans men, and some other people whose identities are not reflected in the framework of binary gender.)

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Heyaros on the Chiddushei HaRabba Marina Bi-inyan Hapalos: 

1] Why call it "reproductive health" and not "killing unborn babies" or the like? How is it "healthy" to abort?? [Except in those VERY RARE cases when the mother's life is in danger or maybe if the baby will be born severely deformed רח"ל]. Except according to Jowma who insist that only pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous. Abortion is healthy. 

2] In the Rabbas narrative, only Christians are against abortion. Not real Jews like us. Ahhhhhhhhh. 

3] Non-women giving birth??? Can you show me one???

4] She said she would be surprising and surprising she was. Her sources all indicated [as she understood them] that abortion is A-O-K as long as it would make the mother feel better. She quoted NONE of the thousands of sources that contradict her agenda. SHOCKING!!!! 

 5] My mocking tone reveals the hashpaos of the drashos and sichos kodesh of Tucker Carlson who similarly mocks people whom he deems enemies of morality, goodness and G-d.

For THAT - maybe I need to do Teshuva. Or maybe not. [In any case, there are PLENTY of things I DEFINITELY have to do Teshuva for]. 

6] To Marina's credit I will add that I checked her bio on the Beis Hamikdash's in the Big San An's website and it turns out that she is married to a "binary male" named "Dave" [who refuses to be called "Rebbetzin" despite being married to the "Rabbi"] and at least twice decided not to abort [or ostensibly use birth control] and gave birth to Trevor ["Velvel Reuven"] And Joshua ["Yehoshua" affectionately called "Shea" not as in "Shea" Stadium but pronounced "Shee-ah"]. In addition, according to her bio "she found a community at both the synagogue and at URJ’s Olin-Sang-Ruby Union Institute in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin". How many people can say THAT about themselves? Or spell "Oconomowoc"?!!! 

7] As sad as this is - don't cry!!
 ירמיהו ל"א:ט"ו
כֹּ֣ה׀ אָמַ֣ר יְהֹוָ֗ה מִנְעִ֤י קוֹלֵךְ֙ מִבֶּ֔כִי וְעֵינַ֖יִךְ מִדִּמְעָ֑ה כִּי֩ יֵ֨שׁ שָׂכָ֤ר לִפְעֻלָּתֵךְ֙ נְאֻם⁠־יְהֹוָ֔ה וְשָׁ֖בוּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ אוֹיֵֽב׃
וְיֵשׁ⁠־תִּקְוָ֥ה לְאַחֲרִיתֵ֖ךְ נְאֻם⁠־יְהֹוָ֑ה וְשָׁ֥בוּ בָנִ֖ים לִגְבוּלָֽם׃

Everyone is eventually coming home!!