A boy recently consulted me on a dating dilemma. I told him what I thought. Soon after, a Rebbi of his who strongly disagreed with my opinion confronted me aggresively and said "C'mon - do you really think that he should keep seeing her??? [He then explained why he was right and I was wrong]. Would you post that opinion on yutorah?"
Since I don't enjoy arguing I backed down and told him that I am totally בטל to him [he is much younger than I am and has many years less experience but what the heck:-)].
But for the record I would like to make clear - I don't post dating advice to specific boys [or girls for that matter] on public websites. If I did, it may go like this.
"The topic of this shiur is whether Moishe should keep seeing Ruchi. On one hand he finds Ruchi to be a fine, heaven fearing, kosher Bas Yisrael. On the other hand he finds her ugly. What to do?
Let's have a word with him.
Let's have a word with him.
Moishe - maybe she is really beautiful but you have a dream to marry someone who looks like they appear in Hollywood motion picture films? THOSE WOMEN are often very ugly [inside] plus they are wearing lots of makeup so you don't know what they REALLY look like anyway.
Or maybe she is really ugly.
But then again - beauty is on the eyes of the beholder. My mother likes to look at me and I am far from being a good looking guy. It's the "beholder" thing!
Also - beauty fades - good character doesn't. Go to an old age home. See any 93 year old beauties?? It goes away - dude!
On the other hand - Chazal [Kiddushin 41] do say that you shouldn't get married unless she is attractive to you.
In the second part of this shiur we will offer our decision as to whether Moishe should give holy Ruchi another chance."
