The Value Of A Smile

Parshas Vayechi 5762 Rav Podolsky z"l  A smile a day keeps the doctor away! As our Parsha teaches: " 'U'l'ven Shinayim Me'chalav -- And his teeth, white with milk (Breishis 49:12).' To what is this referring? Said Rabi Yochanan: One who whitens his teeth (smiles) to his friend is superior to one who gives him milk as it says, 'and his teeth white with milk.' Read it rather, 'whitening the teeth is superior to milk (Kesuvos 111b).' " A smile is more beneficial and perhaps even more nutritious than a nice, tall, cool glass of homogenized, pasteurized, Vitamin D-enriched milk! This is not just a recommendation; it is mandatory. "Shamai says... receive every person with a pleasant countenance (Avos1:15)." As Rabbeinu Yona explains, "Show them a face of joy." Brighten up their day. But is this true? Is a mere smile truly so valuable? If a person is hungry, what good will a smile do him? As they say, "that 'n fifty cents'll getcha a cup o' coffee!" Our Sages elucidate: " 'And receive every person with a pleasant countenance,' -- How so? This teaches that if you give someone all of the finest gifts in the world but your face is sour, the Torah considers it as if you gave him nothing. But if you receive your friend with a pleasant countenance, even if you give him nothing the Torah considers it as if you gave him all the gifts in the world (Avos D'Rabi Nosson 13:4)." Evidently, the Torah regards a smile infinitely more valuable. But why? Do we not need food to live? The answer is, "For man cannot live by bread alone (Devarim 8:3)." A person is not an animal. He has spiritual needs -- soul food. He yearns to feel like a human being. If only his physical body is sustained, he is robbed of his humanity. A smile nurtures his neshama; it energizes him. We find a beautiful illustration of this in the Medrash. " 'Better a meal of greens where there is love than a fattened ox where there is hatred (Mishlei 15:17).' Said Rabi Levi, in reference to whom did Shlomo pronounce this verse? This was in reference to two people who met him at the time that he had been deposed as king and was knocking on doors for handouts... One of the people bowed before him and invited him, 'My master the king, please come with me today...' The host slaughtered an ox and placed before Shlomo many delicacies. He then began to remind him of his reign. He said, 'Do you remember when you did suchlike when you were king?' As soon as he reminded him of his reign, Shlomo began sobbing and weeping until he arose from the table, satiated from his tears. "The following day the second man invited him... Said Shlomo to him, 'Perhaps you want to do to me what your friend did yesterday?' He answered, 'My master, the king, I am a poor man. But if you so desire, you are invited to come with me today for the few greens that I have.' The host washed Shlomo's hands and feet, and brought him some greens. The host then began consoling him. He said, 'My master, the king, Hashem made an oath to your father that the monarchy will never cease from his descendants... but such is the way of Hashem, He rebukes, and then again He rebukes... but Hashem will restore you to your reign.' When Shlomo heard this, he calmed down and rejoiced at that meal of greens and arose satiated. "Said Rabi Chiya bar Abba in the name of Rabi Avun bar Binyamin in the name of Rabi Yosi ben Zimra: When Shlomo returned to his reign, he wrote in his wisdom, 'Better a meal of greens where there is love' -- that I ate by the poor man -- than a fattened ox where there is hatred (Medrash Mishlei 15:17)." Rav Yisroel Salanter once met an acquaintance whose face broadcast a stark bitterness. Rav Yisroel whispered gently, "Although you may be feeling down, your feelings are a reshus hayachid (a private domain), but your face is a reshus harabim(a public domain)." Just as a smile can make another feel good, so too an "anti-smile" will have the opposite effect. We must smile, even if we don't feel like it, even if we feel really grumpy. And finally, though there is much to smile about, sometimes one may feel down. This is natural, and most people go through times like these. However, we should know, that besides the therapeutic effect our smile may have on others, it also helps raise us up out of dejection. Nothing like a good heart-felt smile to make us feel better. Smile, and the world smiles with you.