R' Yoni Lavie
He left after his date and went into the cool night air and he didn't wait a second. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and he hurried to tell his best friend about his disappointment: "What a nightmare! I counted the minutes until our meeting would be over." A second after sending the message, he realized that he had a problem. He had made a mistake – he sent his message to the wrong address! He patted his phone in fear, looking in shock at the screen. Was there any way to bring back the "missile" that he had just fired? No, it was too late. He had sent the message, but in his haste he had sent it to the wrong address – not to his friend, but to the girl he had just met...
The Dark Side of Freedom of Speech
Ladies and Gentlemen: Welcome to the wild west. People draw and shoot. That is what is happening all the time, and it is recommended that before leaving the house you put on some body armor. And no, I am not referring to knife-wielding terrorists. I am writing about the terrorism of the written word which has inundated our lives in recent times. Just try to make sure that you are not wounded by a badly aimed bullet...
At the root of the matter, there can be no doubt that the basis of it all is a blessed phenomenon. If in the past speech was limited to famous people or those with special privileges, and the general population was forced to remain silent without any possibility of reacting or expression, today everybody has free access and can make himself or herself heard. However, without our paying any attention, we have been shunted to the other side of the scale. The development of the modern media tools – such as internet, facebook, WhatsApp, and Twitter – gives everybody an opportunity to express themselves, to give their opinions, for talkbacks, and for "likes." As a result, we are inundated with speech and messages, on every topic and at any given moment, some of which are true and necessary and some of which are ugly and superfluous. We are happy that in this modern age it is possible to warn about iniquity and complain about damage and a lack of justice, but we cannot ignore how easy it has become to disseminate information to the public domain and to share with multitudes of people every thought, even those that can be lethal – such as "shaming," slanderous claims, and targeted executions.
While in the past in order to write an op-ed it was necessary to be an expert and to perform basic and comprehensive research on a specific topic, today all you need is access to a computer or a cellphone. The unbelievable ease with which anybody can get to Y-net or Walla, get on the air on talk-shows, or spread unfounded rumors in a viral post to WhatsApp – is simply intolerable. There is no need for an education or any knowledge, it is not necessary for you to have any previous knowledge about the subject, you don't have to check your facts, and you don't even have to know how to write without mistakes in spelling and grammar. All that is needed is to press the "Send" button, and your message is on the way. The inevitable result is a Garden of Eden for chatterboxes, a blooming field for superficiality, excited criticism, and destructiveness, and a disaster for truth, morality, honest thinking, and showing respect for all creatures.
Make a New Pact about the Use of Words
As religious Jews, we see great value in the power of speech, and we show great respect for every word. Our sages taught us that "the world was created with ten declarations," and from that day to this words have the power to create new worlds, to light up our pathways, and to heal broken hearts. With words, we study Torah, pray, and bless each other. However, we can use the same words for gossip, curses, insults, and humiliation. The wisest of all men said, "Death and life are in the hands of the tongue" [Mishlei 18:21], and he thus showed us that the Brit Mila is not a one-time act that is carried out on eight-day-old boys. (The phrase "brit mila" has a double meaning in Hebrew – it usually refers to circumcision, but it could also mean the subject of this article – a covenant about the use of words.) It is a covenant that is continually being expanded between us and the words we choose to release from our mouths, every day anew, and sometimes even a hundred times in the same day.
Halacha teaches and guides us about when and how we should speak or remain silent, but it leaves us with a large range of choice based on our moral conscience and the healthy instincts of man in his daily activities. One of the keys to success is related to the well-known term, " shemirat halashon" – keeping watch over the tongue. This could mean an attempt to maintain something (we are told that "his father kept the matter to himself" [Bereishit 37:11], and Rashi explains that Yaacov was waiting to see what would develop). The value of words is not measured by how fast they can be made to burst into the open air but rather by their depth and meaning. From this point of view, words can be compared to premium wines. The longer we wait before pouring them out, the mellower and more polished they may become.
This concept is correct for every sentence that we utter, and especially for anything that we are about to publish in a public place. The Rambam worded this with his golden tongue: "It is not worthy for a man to speak and give sermons to the people before he reviews what he wants to say one time, twice, three or even four times, becoming very familiar with it. Then he can speak. This refers to what is required of a person who wants to speak, but what a person wants to write down in a book he should review a thousand times if this would be possible."
Before you Send Anything
As a public service, I will list here seven golden rules that should be observed before pressing the "send" button:
(1) Do not write about a subject which you have not investigated in a way that is worthy, deep, and comprehensive.
(2) Check very carefully: Is what you have written based on facts? Does it have some novel elements that were not said before by your predecessors? Was it written making use of your mind or your gut feelings?
(3) Make sure a million times over that nobody might be hurt by your words unjustly or in a disproportionate way.
(4) Save us from embarrassing mistakes or silly typos that come from spitting out the text at machine gun speed. If Hebrew is not your strong language, ask a friend who does speak it well to look over what you have written. (The same goes for English, or any other language.)
(5) Read what you have written down again and then another time, before you send it out. If you have the time to sleep on it and think it over the next morning when you are calmer and more rested – that would be a good choice.
(6) Take responsibility! Do not publish anything, not even a talkback, without giving your full name ("Moshe from Jerusalem" is not good enough). Do you think that all of the country should hear what you think? Then at least have the courage to stand behind your words.
(7) Pray to G-d from the bottom of your heart that the words that come from your keyboard will add light and good to the world and not the opposite, heaven forbid.
