Monday, October 30, 2017

Early Purim?



This is from my archives and occurred on the Upper West Side of Manhattan a number of years ago. 

The following is based on a true story....

I walked into the elevator tonight and I saw children in Purim costumes. I thought "This is strange. Purim in the middle of Cheshvan!"

Then it occurred to me why the costumes. "Is it halloweeeenn?" I inquired in a loud and dramatic voice. 

"Yesssss" the kids answered me. 

So I first looked at the little 6 year old or so girl. "What are YOU dressed up as?"

"A fairy".

"A FAIRY!!" I cried out. "Of course!" I then slapped my forehead as if my thick brain was at fault for not figuring out something so obvious.

I then turned to the bigger girl. "What are YOU dressed up as?" Truth be told, I didn't like her costume and she didn't seem the congenial sort. 

"A vampire."

"OHHHHH, A VAAAAMMMMPIRE!!!"

Then I turned to the cute two year old or so boy being held by his mother and asked "What are YOU?"

His mother answered as if I had just come down from Mars and asked the most klutz kasha, "He's an astronaut".

"AN ASTRONAUT!!! OF COURSE! AND THE CUTEST ASTRONAUT AROUND!!!!".

Everyone in the elevator laughed. 

"You know what IIIII am dressed up as?" I asked everyone and no one in particular.

I, wearing my hat, dark suit, beard and dark coat, continued. "A RAAAAABBBIIIII!!".

This was met with laughter. They obviously felt that I am not worthy of being a Rabbi. That requires vast knowledge, sterling qualities, fear of Heaven and behavior that constitutes an example for all. What a funny costume for a guy like me.

I couldn't agree more.....:-)