Rabbi Emanuel Feldman
Modern Irony # 1: The modern liberated woman living in today’s liberated society is apprehensive because modern liberated man who is liberated from any restrictions on his behavior is now implementing his liberation by intimidating liberated women whose concept of a modern liberated society did not include harassment from liberated men.
Modern Irony # 2: This liberated woman, who yearns to have the (imagined) privileges of a man, to dress like a man, to command a salary like a man, to serve in the armed forces like a man, to be a CEO like a man, finds that despite all her advances toward these goals, she is nevertheless humiliated and aggrieved by liberated men precisely because she is not a man but a woman.
It makes the news almost daily: Men who live without limits on their activities inevitably consider women to be nothing more than things and objects, and therefore engage in what is euphemistically termed inappropriate behavior. This is life in the 21st century: the age of smart phones and men walking on Mars — and men victimizing women. They obviously never heard of the halachos of inter-gender relationships.
In fact, those who have no Torah connection invariably attack halachic gender restrictions as antiquated and out of tune with the times. “Bring halachah up to date,” they cry, “bring it into the 21st century. We moderns are beyond these medieval restrictions.” To which I respond: If this is modern life, may I book passage to the Middle Ages?
It would be more salutary for modern times to get in tune with the halachah’s unabashed gender-consciousness. It has always insisted on the separation of men and women whenever possible. Random intermingling in public events, religious or social, is discouraged. Not only during synagogue prayer, but — in many Orthodox circles —men and women sit separately even during weddings or receptions. This is in keeping with classical Judaism, for in the sacred precincts of the Jerusalem Temple the genders were prevented from intermingling, because that might lead to kalus rosh (light-headedness) and irresponsible behavior.
And it is no accident that the prohibition against adultery is in the Ten Commandments, and that gender-related restrictions are the major theme of the Torah reading for Yom Kippur Minchah (Vayikra 18). The Mishnah in Avos (1:5) explicitly discourages frivolous chitchat with women: Al tarbeh sichah im ha’ishah. And the classical codes have entire sections about tzniyus (modesty), yichud, and safeguards concerning interactions between men and women.
All this is certainly out of tune with today’s culture and infuriates many self-styled liberated Jews. Nevertheless, our culture would do well to take another look at these Jewish views. If the fallen celebrity dominos had paid attention to these, they might have avoided much ignominy and pain.
Classical Judaism is hardly misogynous, but it does have a realistic view of the unfettered nature of a man and his temptations. The view of Judaism is expressed at the beginning of the Torah, in Bereishis 8:21: “Yetzer lev ha’adam ra mine’urav — the inclination of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” (See also Bereishis 6:5.) That view is that man, in the words of Thomas Hobbes (1588–1679), “left to his own instincts and in his natural state, is a potential brute ready to devour anyone or anything that stands in the way of his passions and desires, for whom there is no justice or injustice, no right or wrong, no mine and yours [because everything is mine]” — all of which we have witnessed in our times. It is only the Torah and its disciplines that elevate man into a civilized being. “Barasi yetzer hara, barasi Torah tavlin,” say the Sages in Kiddushin 30b: “I have created the Evil Inclination; I have created the Torah as antidote.” Sensitivity training and therapy centers are useful, but without the safeguards of halachah, man remains unchanged.
Is this a negative view of man? No. Is it an unvarnished view of man? Yes — and the daily scandals underscore this. Man’s essential nature has not changed. (See Kli Yakar on Bereishis 6:5.) An unbiased look at Jewish tradition will demonstrate how its gender guidelines protect man from himself and ultimately respect and protect women. (Space does not permit discussion of the obverse: the sanctity and dignity of each human being — kavod habrios — and the respect that is their right.)
We think we live in the enlightened 21st century. Think again, for without clear behavioral boundaries, we remain in the Dark Ages. Which is Modern Irony #3: Our highly advanced civilization is still highly uncivilized. (Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 690).
Modern Irony # 2: This liberated woman, who yearns to have the (imagined) privileges of a man, to dress like a man, to command a salary like a man, to serve in the armed forces like a man, to be a CEO like a man, finds that despite all her advances toward these goals, she is nevertheless humiliated and aggrieved by liberated men precisely because she is not a man but a woman.
It makes the news almost daily: Men who live without limits on their activities inevitably consider women to be nothing more than things and objects, and therefore engage in what is euphemistically termed inappropriate behavior. This is life in the 21st century: the age of smart phones and men walking on Mars — and men victimizing women. They obviously never heard of the halachos of inter-gender relationships.
In fact, those who have no Torah connection invariably attack halachic gender restrictions as antiquated and out of tune with the times. “Bring halachah up to date,” they cry, “bring it into the 21st century. We moderns are beyond these medieval restrictions.” To which I respond: If this is modern life, may I book passage to the Middle Ages?
It would be more salutary for modern times to get in tune with the halachah’s unabashed gender-consciousness. It has always insisted on the separation of men and women whenever possible. Random intermingling in public events, religious or social, is discouraged. Not only during synagogue prayer, but — in many Orthodox circles —men and women sit separately even during weddings or receptions. This is in keeping with classical Judaism, for in the sacred precincts of the Jerusalem Temple the genders were prevented from intermingling, because that might lead to kalus rosh (light-headedness) and irresponsible behavior.
And it is no accident that the prohibition against adultery is in the Ten Commandments, and that gender-related restrictions are the major theme of the Torah reading for Yom Kippur Minchah (Vayikra 18). The Mishnah in Avos (1:5) explicitly discourages frivolous chitchat with women: Al tarbeh sichah im ha’ishah. And the classical codes have entire sections about tzniyus (modesty), yichud, and safeguards concerning interactions between men and women.
All this is certainly out of tune with today’s culture and infuriates many self-styled liberated Jews. Nevertheless, our culture would do well to take another look at these Jewish views. If the fallen celebrity dominos had paid attention to these, they might have avoided much ignominy and pain.
Classical Judaism is hardly misogynous, but it does have a realistic view of the unfettered nature of a man and his temptations. The view of Judaism is expressed at the beginning of the Torah, in Bereishis 8:21: “Yetzer lev ha’adam ra mine’urav — the inclination of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” (See also Bereishis 6:5.) That view is that man, in the words of Thomas Hobbes (1588–1679), “left to his own instincts and in his natural state, is a potential brute ready to devour anyone or anything that stands in the way of his passions and desires, for whom there is no justice or injustice, no right or wrong, no mine and yours [because everything is mine]” — all of which we have witnessed in our times. It is only the Torah and its disciplines that elevate man into a civilized being. “Barasi yetzer hara, barasi Torah tavlin,” say the Sages in Kiddushin 30b: “I have created the Evil Inclination; I have created the Torah as antidote.” Sensitivity training and therapy centers are useful, but without the safeguards of halachah, man remains unchanged.
Is this a negative view of man? No. Is it an unvarnished view of man? Yes — and the daily scandals underscore this. Man’s essential nature has not changed. (See Kli Yakar on Bereishis 6:5.) An unbiased look at Jewish tradition will demonstrate how its gender guidelines protect man from himself and ultimately respect and protect women. (Space does not permit discussion of the obverse: the sanctity and dignity of each human being — kavod habrios — and the respect that is their right.)
We think we live in the enlightened 21st century. Think again, for without clear behavioral boundaries, we remain in the Dark Ages. Which is Modern Irony #3: Our highly advanced civilization is still highly uncivilized. (Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 690).
