Recently someone sat me down and wanted to talk. So we sat and he started raving about me, singing my *many* praises. As he was going on I thought to myself that this is going to turn into a criticism. In my 53 years it has yet to happen that someone took out the time and trouble to sit down with me in order to tell me how wonderful I am... And lo and behold - it was all a "Hakdama" to what he really wanted to say which was that such and such about me bothers him and I should change my behavior.
Which got me thinking...
Why don't we do what it sounded like he was doing? Sit someone down and JUST tell them how wonderful they are. It is actually a כלל גדול בתורה!!!
Rambam [Deos 6-3]:
מִצְוָה עַל כָּל אָדָם לֶאֱהֹב אֶת כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל כְּגוּפוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ". לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ לְסַפֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ וְלָחוּס עַל מָמוֹנוֹ כַּאֲשֶׁר הוּא חָס עַל מָמוֹן עַצְמוֹ וְרוֹצֶה בִּכְבוֹד עַצְמוֹ. וְהַמִּתְכַּבֵּד בִּקְלוֹן חֲבֵרוֹ אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.
Each man is commanded to love each and every Jew as himself as Vayikra 19:18 states: “Love your fellowman as yourself.” Therefore, one should speak the praises of others and show concern for their money just as he is concerned with his own money and seeks his own honor. Anyone who gains honor through the degradation of a colleague does not have a share in the world to come.
