When I sat shiva there was a refrain I heard from people again and again and again: "It was soooo nice getting together/ seeing you again. Too bad it has to be under these circumstances". And they meant it. People really enjoyed the visit, as did the aveilim. [It was a happy/cheerful shiva as far as shivas go. The niftar lived a long life and left a large family and the passing was expected and prepared for]. Oddly [?], I have only positive memories of the shiva.
Since then I have been connected to exactly zero people who came to the shiva [unless they live in my neighborhood and I happen to see them in shul].
Human connection is CRITICAL to mental health and significantly increases our quality of life. Yet, we are all too *busy* to invest in our relationships.
Mussar Haskel: Invest in relationships. Find the time. It is worth it.
Mussar Haskel #2: The Torah/Chazal were brilliant in making the law of shiva. Very therapeutic and comforting. It is literally the only time in life large numbers of people pay positive attention to you and sit and connect in meaningful ways. Otherwise, like I said - people are always so busy and so in a rush. Generally, the only way someone will have time for you to just sit and talk and listen is if you pay them 275 dollars for an hour....
