False Accusations

SHALOM AND SHAVUA TOV TYERE [precious] YIDDEN!!!:)

The Gemara at the beginning of the fifth perek of brachos says something very interesting. If someone falsely suspects his friend of wrongdoing, he must do two things to make amends for this evil. 1] He must ask the person for forgiveness and appease him. 2] He must give the person a bracha. [This is derived from Eli who falsely suspected Chana of wrongdoing and took these two steps.]

I understand the need to appease the person but why the bracha??

Explains Rav Kook Ztz"l in Ayn Ayah [PIL'EI PLA'OS!]: Two types of harm are caused when one falsely suspects his friend of wrongdoing. 1] The person is insulted. It is insulting when someone thinks badly of you. 2] It affects the avodas Hashem of the accused. People tend to live up to people's expectations of them. If people think highly of you, it is likely that you will try to fulfill their expectations. It is a boost to your self esteem! [Mr. Mevakesh adds - So tell people if you think highly of them!!! But leave the Ba'al Hamevakesh out of it. He has been receiving far too many accolades recently. It is casuing him nausea. Tell your wife/husband/mother/father/friend/sibling etc.] But if people think badly of you it will make you feel negatively about yourself and proportionally there will be a descent in your avodas Hashem. "I am rotten", you will feel about yourself [CHAS VI'SHALOM!!!] - even though you know that the accusation is rooted in misinformation. This will result in actions that reflect your low feeling about yourself.

AHHHH! So now we understand why both appeasement and a bracha are necessary. Appeasement because of the insult and the aspersions cast on the character of the accused. A bracha that if fulfilled will make up for the loss of passion and excitement in his avodas Hashem that occurred as a result of the accusation. He felt badly about himself and didn't serve Hashem as well as he could have and this must be compensated for with a bracha.

Remember sweetest friends - It is wrong to judge somebody unless first speaking to the person. All too often people jump to rash conclusions and spread the word resulting in character assasination. This is NOT a praiseworthy Jewish value. Even after speaking to the person one should keep in mind that before judging objectively one must KNOW the other person. It is rare that we truly know another human being. And if you ever want to know the unadulterated truth about an individual - ask the person's spouse, he/she truly knows. We outsiders don't.

Hevei dan es KOL ha'odom likaf zchus [Pirkei Avos] - Judge the TOTALITY of the person. If you do - very often the judgement will be favorable.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS!!


PS - Recently the spirit came over me and bs"d I have given a series of shiurim on Geirus [maybe due to my desire to convert from being a regular not so wonderful Yid - to the REAL THING]. The shiurim can be found on yutorah.org by searching my name with the word "geirut".