WHO IS THIS MAN?!

He LOVES you, sometimes more than you love yourself.

He guides you through the perplexities of life.

He knows your name and your mother's name so that he can daven for you.

He loses sleep over you, thinking about your problems or talking to you.

Your joy is his joy, your sadness is his sadness.

He thinks ONLY about your own good and tries to erase his own personal self interest.

He has a very small ego and is constantly diminishing it.

He knows his strengths and believes he can help and guide.

He is honest about his faults and doesn't try to put on a show in order to impress others.

He is disinterested in money and realizes its dangers and pitfalls. He also appreciates that in order to live we need some of it.

His physical needs are minimal but understands that yours may be greater and is sensitive to that.

He is HIGHLY uncritical and accepts you for who you are.

He tries to mold you into the person YOU need to become and doesn't try to make you into a carbon-copy of himself.

He is also able to correct your faults - in a loving caring and sensitive manner. He will "call you out" on things because he knows that this is in your best interests.

He will primarily point out your strong points and positive qualities because he realizes that your knowledge of those aspects are the building blocks to greatness.

He is deeply steeped in Torah and Yiras Shomayim and is constantly growing.

He teaches Torah in a clear and effective manner and is a gifted orater. He also knows how to close his mouth and listen to others with rapt attention.

He loves you - very much. Like his own child.

And again - he loves you. And you feel it. [I am aware of the fact that I have mentioned this three times already.]

WHO IS THIS MAN?

ANSWER: YOUR REBBE [note: you may not have found him yet].

He could be the Rov of your shul, a Maggid shiur in Yeshiva, a high school Rebbe or even a doctor or businessman. But he must meet the aforementioned requirements.

If you found one - fortunate are you in this world and in the next. If you have not yet found one - keep looking because they exist. And in their merit the WORLD exists.

The need for a Rebbe crosses gender lines. Women need to get close to Hashem, too. It is not a time bound commandment from which woman are exempt. The difference between men and women is that between the Rebbe and the talmidah there must be lines - physical, emotional and verbal - that may not be crossed. Otherwise, Chas Vi'shalom, tragedy strikes. With men there are also lines that may not be crossed but the distance need not be as great.

In order for one to have a Rebbe he/she must be a talmid/a. This also has requirements [maybe for another post]. It takes two to tango. Some people are qualified and looking to lead but can't find talmidim. Some people are looking for guidance and Light but can't find a Rebbe who suits their needs. One needs to daven a lot to find the right Rebbe for his/her shoresh neshama [a kabbalastic term that I don't have the time to explain at 4:20am with a lot of work to do:)].

Sweetest friends - if you don't have a Rebbe, find one!!

Parents also play a very important role in ones development but there are just some things that a Rebbe can accomplish that a parent cannot.

Love and blessings!

PS - I really want to close the post here and let people ponder what I wrote. But I fear that people will think I am view myself as one of those prized Rebbeim. So I will be clear that I am not. I am called "Rebbe" or "Rav" or "Rabbi" by some but I assure you that when I give a shiur almost nobody comes, so it is by name only that I am called "Rebbe". Also, I don't have many of the requirements I deem necessary - particularly the "deeply steeped in Torah and Yiras Shomayim and is constantly growing" one - in addition to numerous others. But I do aspire to be one at some time in the future and hope I can find solid talmidim/talmiddos. Together we will work to change the world! But in the meantime - I have loads of work to do on myself and hope and pray that my own kesher with a tzaddik will elevate me in order to help elevate others.

Normally, I don't ask for feedback, I am just happy that you seven people [2 yu guys, 3 stern girls, a cousin from Queens and, acharona acharona chaviva, my mother] read the blog but this time I would appreciate hearing from people who have had positive experiences with Rabbeim. It would enrich me and others. ally.ehrman@gmail.com