Pain Relief

Many people in this world are in pain - searing pain. I refer not to physical pain but to emotional anguish. Physical pain exists unfortunately in abundance but this post relates to deep emotional pain.

The question is - how should the sufferer and those around him deal with it.


1] It is not healthy to repress one's feelings. One could deny it and say everything is OK but the reality is that a person is in pain and pain doesn't disappear - it just festers waiting to find expression. The expression could be in the realm of one's body, illness, insomnia, high blood pressure, ulcers etc. It could also express itself emotionally - with anger [anger is usually a scary display of deep pain], nervousness, impatience, crying etc. etc. It is healthier to admit that one is in deep pain and talk about it. As Iyov said - "Adabra vi'yirvach li" - I will speak and get relief.
Pain is similar to a physical burden in that if two people to carry it it's much easier to bear [R' Chaim Shmuelevitz].

2] One shouldn't dwell on it too much. It is important to do other things. The BEST thing to do is to find other people to help in some way. For example if someone is single and just got back from ANOTHER really bad date he can call a single friend to inquire about his trials and tribulations. We just feel better when caring about others. Of course the motivation should primarily [if not completely] be to assuage his friends pain and not his own.

3] One must remember that this is from a loving Father. It is DIFFUCULT to understand [if not impossible] but we have the force of a time tested three thousand three hundred year tradition
that teaches us that our suffering serves a higher purpose.

4] One can think about the blessings inherent in the test. For example - one's own suffering makes one more sensitive to the suffering of others.

5] It could be worse. Auschwitz or a Siberian labor camp is worse than anything.

6] It is only temporary. Life is REALLY short. One day we will all be in a good, sweet loving place where our souls belong.

One can't do away with suffering in a few easy steps but I think that with a lot of hard work one can implement some of the ideas and find him/herself growing not despite the pain but because of it.

Finally - Ahava. People need to give and feel love. So find someone to love. And then another person. Then yet another. A life filled with a deep abiding love is a fulfilling G-dly life.

Indeed loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself is the overarching principle that encompasses the whole Torah [Rebbe Akiva].

Love and blessings!