Monday, July 11, 2011

The Shidduch Crisis

Is there a shidduch crisis?

The way I see it is that if there is ONE Jew out there who wants to be married and is not, there is a crisis. So the multitudes who fit into the aforementioned category make it into a quantitatively major crisis.

Some suggestions to improve the situation:

1] Bribes :-) : Communities could offer serious financial compensation for anyone who makes a shidduch between two people above a certain age or other "hard to set up" people. This will probably cost money but it is money well spent.

2] Education: Yeshivas and seminaries could have shiurim on how to develop and advance relationships. They can hire professionals to advise and guide the students.

3] Tefilla - Just as we have lists of cholim, we should also have lists of singles for whom everyone is davening. Tefilla REALLY helps.

4] Meetings: Communities can have weekly meetings where the ladies brainstorm and prepare in advance by emailing and calling people.

5] Rabbis: Rabbis can talk about the importance of setting people up in their drashos.

6] Weddings: Whenever a boy and girl get engaged they should be encouraged to set up their friends. Odds are that his and her friends would be good matches.

7] Mixed events: Just because people need to get married does not mean that all the barriers of purity and modesty should be breached. A tzaddik and talmid chochom should be consulted as to what is appropriate for bnei and bnos torah.

8] Follow up: AFTER couples get married they shouldn't be left completely alone. YOUNG COUPLES NEED GUIDANCE. Anyone who knows what is going on in our communities understands what I mean.

My heart bleeds for all those people who are suffering from a situation that Hashem Himself calls "Lo Tov". May they all find their zivug bim'heyra!!