Therapy

Many people are in therapy and this is no secret, so I thought I'd share some thoughts on the topic. This is after spending a long time studying about it in depth. [If I closed my Gemara to study something else I obviously felt it is very important...]

1] NO THERAPIST, gifted as he may be, can solve your problems for you. He can only facilitate your growth by showing yourself that you possess the tools to heal yourself. If you don't work hard you won't see any significant changes.

2] If you are in therapy for an extended period of time [a few months maximum] and don't see growth - seriously consider switching therapists.

3] EVERYONE can benefit from therapy. The goal is to understand yourself better and has nothing to do with how many problems you have. I personally go to therapy just about every day. My therapists are Rav Yerucham Levovitz [died 1936] and Rav Kook [died 1935] and many others who are no longer amongst the living. But if this is not enough for you, a living, breathing therapist can very helpful.

4] Some therapists are overeducated and underqualified. Just because someone has a diploma doesn't NECESSARILY mean that he can help you. Others are highly educated and highly qualified. It could go both ways...

5] Look for someone who is empathetic, sensitive, accepting of who you are and doesn't try to put you into their own narrow box of how a functional person acts and feels. Make sure he [or she] respects you.

6] Rabbonim - To become a Rabbi one must answer a certain number of questions in a small number of areas of Halacha. The title Rabbi does NOT grant one special understanding of the human psyche. So be careful. Many Rabbis cause damage because they are out of their area of expertise when dealing with human emotion. That being said, it is also true that there are Rabbis who are excellent at dealing with and understanding emotion. The advantage of a Rabbi is that he has the benefit of the wisdom of Hashem [the creator of the human psyche] and an understanding that a human is more than just a complex physical organism but that beyond the chemicals lies a G-dly soul. So one should DEFINITELY have a Rav with whom he discusses his personal problems but make sure it is a Rav who knows what he is talking about [there are quite a few]. I know a Rav who could lecture to the worlds top psychologists because he understands better than they the inner workings of man and how to help him. [All he has is a high school diploma, see #4.]

7] Tefilla: Cry out to Hashem - he is cheaper and more helpful than any professional.

8] Emotional issues don't disappear magically. If you have an issue [who doesn't] you will continue to suffer from it until YOU do something about it.

9] Don't look for solutions in the people around you - family members and the like. Your problems and their solutions all reside within you.

10] Have a loving friend - often he can be more effective than a trained professional. He can also mess up your head, so be wary....

11] Life is a long journey towards knowledge of the self and the unique Divine qualities with which you have been endowed. ENJOY!

PS - I would appreciate email communication commenting on the list. I enjoy sharing my thoughts but very much value input which expands and sharpens my understanding.

Love to all:)!!