Boundries

In any healthy relationship there are boundries. Even a husband-wife relationship which is the closest of the close must have boundries. As we spoke about recently, two people become one but remain two.

I have a friend who has crossed the boundries in our relationship. It is really bothersome and actually quite offensive the way he behaves at times. I would mention it to him but there are some people who despite their excellence in certain areas of life JUST DON'T GET IT! It wouldn't help.

A person can have a doctorate from Harvard and be a CEO of a major firm and "just not get it". This is in the realm of what today is called" Emotional Intelligence" [see the book of the same name]. They don't teach it in schools and you just pick it up from your surroundings and based on your natural abilities. In order to excel in interpersonal relationships one must have an abundance of "EI". Interpersonal relationships are an integral facet and in fact the most important facet of the Torah. A person can be intellectually brilliant but socially inept. This limits his ability to succeed at marriage, childraising, chessed, kiddush Hashem etc. etc.

Our society often perceives success in very one-dimensional terms. The fact is that there is much more to success than ones yearly salary and professional status. It would be wise for people to pay more attention to their ways of relating to others and to life and slightly less attention on how to make another dollar.

My friend is a classic example of someone who is great at the dollar thing but really flawed at the personal thing.

May he have a refuah [of his soul]!