Unnoticed

As you may know, I recently spent 3 weeks in the States. In my universe of which I am the center, this was a very big deal as my whole life was changed around. Away from wife and children, different shul, little time or energy to devote to the intense learning I am used to at home etc. etc.

When I returned I realized something strange - nobody noticed I was gone. Just about nobody said welcome back when they saw me except for the three or four people who were told that I was gone. I know many hundreds of people "around town" and not one person said "Hey, haven't seen you around recently". Even my next door neighbor! When he saw me he gave me the perfunctory nod and walked on. From this I learned that while I may at the center of my own universe - I am not even at the periphery of anybody elses.

This opened a 25 year old wound....

When I was in 10th grade I mysteriously disappeared from High School [mysterious for everyone else. I knew exactly where I was:-). There was a sighting of me in Israel]. Of the over 100 students in my class only one boy bothered to call my house to find out where I was.

This made me realize that I was gone and nobody cared - or noticed [although my chemistry teacher I am told would call me for attendance daily].

I have a few other such stories but you get the point.

So from this I learn the following lesson. We often worry what others think of us. Do they think highly of us or do they have a negative opinion. The TRUTH is that people are not really thinking anything!:-) They are far too busy with their own lives.

So instead of focusing my energies on others I should focus on the One with whom I will be spending eternity - Hashem. He is thinking of me every second I am on earth, proof positive my beating heart which hasn't stopped since I was in utero 41 years ago [save for the 1986 Mets World Series run where my heart stopped a number of times]. His opinion is the only one that truly counts.

Of course I would be remiss in not mentioning my family. When I returned there were signs on the door welcoming me back. They noticed my absence. We build families in order to give but we get much more back in return.

SWEETEST FRIENDS! Focus on your neshma, on what's inside, on fulfilling your unique purpose on earth. Nobody else fully understands who you are and what you are about. Don't become a hermit and aviod the world but do good for others for the sake of goodness and not to acquire their adulation or respect.

Love and blessings and a zees'e voch!