If you have ever been to a wedding you know about the kibbudim, the honors distributed to various rabbis and relatives. Halachically, it is much better for one person to make all of the brachos but in order to give out kibbudim we call up a different person for each bracha.
"Mechubad with the third bracha - Rabbi Heshy Weinsteinbergernussbaumbacher principal at Ateres Chana Seminary, Rebbe of the Kallah and Guiness Book Of World Record holder for longest and most Jewish sounding last name."
The Satmar Rebbe quipped that pretty soon the brachos are going to be broken up so that one rabbi will get "Boo" and the next rabbi "Reech" [to get it you need to know how Hungarians pronounce the words:-)].
I have a deep dark secret. IT'S NOT KAVOD AT ALL! Usually before the wedding the families are "bugging out" about the kibbudim. "We can't insult rabbi x but we also have to give Uncle Harvey a bracha. Maybe we'll give Uncle Harvey a bracha and the rabbi will be an eid. You think he'll be ok with that??" It's often more about not insulting than about honoring. [At my wedding I HAD to give rabbi x a kibbud but if he showed up rabbi y would be out the door. So I consulted with rabbi z who told me that rabbi x wouldn't show up. He was right. Whew.]
Even when the kibbud is given in order to honor someone it isn't real honor. NOBODY CARES. What are people doing at the chuppah? Single boys may be interested in a pretty bridesmaid walking down the aisle [a nice minhag we picked up from the church:-)]. Others are busy with their blackberries. Others enjoy the soft uplifting music "Mi bon siiiiiacchhhhh...." Who cares who got the last and most important bracha? Only the person who got it! Who cares who the mesader kiddushin is? As long as he doesn't talk for too long - nobody. I've gotten brachos and have been mesader kiddushin a few times and I THOUGHT that people would think I am more important but alas I realized the truth.
What is the truth??
Nobody can GIVE you importance. The word כבוד is from the word כבד - heavy. To be a person of honor means that you are a spiritual heavyweight. Somebody THINKING that I am important is like someone THINKING that I am rich. Someone can think I have a billion dollars but that won't help me pay for my daughters braces. Someone can think that I am important but if I am not a "spiritual heavyweight", if I am not filled with Torah and good middos, then what does their opinion matter. It is based on their imagination with no basis in reality.
הכבוד האמיתי הוא גילוי השכל האלהי הטהור
אין כבוד אלא תורה
True honor, teaches HaRav Kook Ztz"l, is the revelation of the pure Godly intellect. As we learn in Pirkei Avos, the only true honor is Torah.
A narishe velt [silly world] we inhabit. So much falsehood. Let's go for what's real. And if you are ever at a wedding and I get called up for a kibbud you will know that I pleaded with them not to give it to me.
I'm shooting for the real thing. Hope you'll join me.
אין כבוד אלא תורה
