Vi-haya Machanecha Kadosh - Ballisitc - Weird? - 3 Proofs - No Veils - 36 Million

A few words on the title from a pasuk in this week's parsha.

A lot of people are going ballistic about the custom in the religious press not to publish pictures of women.

It is important to note that there are numerous sources that maintain that it is forbidden for a male to look at a woman. It might sound crazy but only because we are not used to the idea. For a not frum Jew or a non Jew, the idea that a married couple is not allowed to touch each other, or even hand things to each other [for about half the month], seems crazy. But for those who are used to the idea it is normal...

To look at a woman in order to enjoy her beauty is forbidden according to ALL SOURCES. ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם and other sources.

There are a number of proofs that one may not look at her even if one's purpose is NOT to enjoy her beauty.

A] The gemara [Ksubos 17] says that one may not look at a kallah, even in order to make her chosson feel special that people are looking at his kallah [לחבבה על בעלה]. It seems from here that even of one is looking not in order to enjoy her beauty but for the noble purpose of helping the chosson appreciate his kallah, it is forbidden.

B] The Rosh [and Shittah Mekubetzes] ask that if one may not look at the kallah, who is going to testify that she was wearing a veil and her hair was exposed [a proof that she was a besulah at the time of the wedding]? We see that one may not even look at a woman in order to testify.

3] The gemara [Avoda Zara 20a] says that one may not look at a woman's clothing even when they are hanging out to dry. If that is the case then CERTAINLY one may not look at a woman herself.

This being said, we are all gong to continue looking at woman, so what is my point? Everyone will say that they follow the poskim who permit one to look for a short time if the purpose is not erotic חס ושלום.

1] We are - but the less the better.

2] If we have to because we are talking to her that is fine, but why look at a picture of a woman? What benefit is there?

3] Why make fun of a practice which elevates standards of modesty??

This doesn't mean that women must walk outside in veils. It does mean that men should not look unnecessarily. It is also a fact that every man [except for a small percentage who have other problems...] enjoys looking at an attractive women which according to all sources is a serious breech in kedusha. If one is careful not to look at any [as much as possible] then he will certainly not stumble with one who sticks in his mind afterwards and brings to illicit thoughts and tumah at night .

The rule is - always be a mentsch but always be holy. Holiness is separation of the genders [Rashi - beginning of Kedoshim]. Don't allow modern standards of immodesty to corrupt our values. Torah is forever. Today's newpaper is going to be in the garbage by tomorrow.

After 36 million [!!!] people were found to have registered to a website that facilitates adultery, I think that the "extremism" of shmiras einayim is refreshing. ודוק!

A thought that needs much more analysis and discussion but time is of the essence and I must go....

For who want sources that forbid looking at pictures of women or looking at them at all -
עי' באר משה ח"ד סי' קמז אות כ"א שו"ת דברי מלכיאל ח"ג סי' נ"ח בן יהוידע נדרים דף כ ספר מחזה עינים מחזה ד אוצר הפוסקים אבן העזר כ"א א סק"ז ובאריכות בס' תורת ההסתכלות.

I feel compelled to stress that this is not against women. It is against men. A mere glance at a woman OFTEN brings out the less holy, more animalistic side of man. This is NOT my opinion [alone] but that of all Torah sources.

יומא ע"ד - טוב מראה עינים באשה יותר מגופה של מעשה

לזכות כל בנות ישראל הצנועות הצריכות לכך שיזכו בקרוב לזיווגן