Benefits And Obligations

Continuing the thought from the last post....

Take the Belzer Rebbe Shlita as a f'rinstence. About 30,000 people attended his son's wedding from all over the world. Now it is significant that many Belzer Chasidim have no personal connection with the Rebbe and some have never even met him once [I have a Belzer friend in the neighborhood who has never met his Rebbe personally]. Yet, since he is their guide and leader they came out in throngs to be with him at his simcha. He didn't even know that many of them attended. Yet they felt that they were obligated to attend.

It appears to this writer that if one HAS [or even had] a close personal connection to a Rebbi and ate at his table and learned with him one on one or in a small group then it is a no-brainer that he should feel the same sense of obligation.

The gemara in Ksubos says that all the services that an eved provides for his master, a talmid must provide for his Rebbi. This doesn't sound so pleasant to some sensitive ears. What, I'm his slave???

To be honest, and I speak not as a Rebbi but as a talmid - yes. I feel so indebted to someone who gave me spiritual gifts that I feel constantly obligated to repay him in any way possible. I mean, a person taught me Torah that will permeate my life in this world with meaning and earn me eternal bliss. BY GOLLY! Is anything I can ever do for him enough to satisfactorily repay him?? You can come to your own conclusions but my own personal conclusion is that - NO WAY, NOT A CHANCE.

All of us have had such people in our lives and that requires us to think about want the ramifications are.

This brings us to the bigger question of relationships. Let's take marriage for example: Marriage has many benefits [I talk now from the male side although a woman also benefits in countless ways]. A woman cooks for you, washes your dirty clothing and neatly folds it up and puts it in your closet. She fulfills the strongest urge than a man has and as a wife is the only one who is permitted to do so. She bears you children after 9 heavy duty months of nausea, vomiting and an all around feeling of "heaviness" and "yich". She cleans the house and washes the dirty dishes. She provides you with a family structure and is a dedicated mother to your children [I love my kids but have never been able to be a mother to them...]. GEE WHIZ!! She does so much for you. The flip side is that the relationship also entails obligations. She costs a lot of money. You have to deal with her parents and siblings. She is moody and critical and at times completely irrational. Sometimes you are just not "feeling it". "It" meaning in love or even "in like". She has certain habits that are terribly annoying. The list goes on and on and of course every person has a special personalized list. The relationship obligates one to take the good with the less fun. This model of "give and take" "fun and less fun" "benefits vs. obligations" can now be applied to all relationships in life.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I have so much more to say but as Pirkei Avos has it - הזמן קצר והמלאכה מרובה, the time is short and there is so much to DO!!

Love and blessings:-)!