לזכות אסתר רות בת נעמי שרה לבריאות השלימה
יצחק אליקים בן הרב דוד זאב לבריאות השלימה
Often times we do things that are correct, ethical or spiritual not because we naturally want to but because we feel a moral or religious obligation or because our conscience will bother us if we don't or for many other possible reasons.. There is definitely value to overcoming one's innate basic nature to do what is right but that is not the ideal.
The ideal is to serve Hashem in the most natural way. One doesn't eat breakfast only because one needs energy to serve Hashem but because it is a natural desire that people have. In the same vein, one should have natural desire to wear tefillin, to learn Torah, to give tzedaka. Then spirituality and ethics merge with one's natural desire and a completeness is formed.
If you tell your wife that you love her because the Rambam paskens that you must [don't try it:-)] - it is not nearly as good as loving her naturally, knowing that this is also the will of Hashem.
When you open up the gemara it should be because you honest to G-d want to know how many judges are needed for cases of monetary disputes or what the halacha is if one is a guardian for an object and then swears that it was stolen. At the same time, you know that Hashem commanded you to learn and wants you to naturally want to understand his Torah. This idea applies to all mitzvos.
That might be what the mishna in Avos meant when it said that Hashem's will should be your will. Make it your personal agenda to keep all the mitzvos. I have learned in life that everybody has a personal agenda. If you are on their agenda [e.g. you are their child or their boss] then they will be there for you. If not, they will ignore your phone calls and make themseles hard or impossible to reach. People very rarely just do things altruistcally when there is nothing in it for them. [That has been my almost 46 years of experience virutally without exception. If you know of any such people give me their address so I can send them kvitlach to daven for me...] We have to fell that keeping mitzvos is our deepest and most pressing need - not Hashem's. If it is about Hashem alone, we either don't do it or don't do it as we should. We all know what I am talking about.
When the mishna says further that you should be מבטל your will before the will of Hashem, the Sfas Emes understands it to mean that it should be בטל like ביטול בששים - nullified and thus one new entity. When a drop of milk falls into the chicken soup it becomes halachically chicken soup. Your will should merge with the Divine will and mitzvos should ideally not be done out of external compulsion.
That is the goal. In the meantime we keep mitzvos where we are feeling it or not.
How does one reach a level where mitzvos become natural? That, maybe, for another post. There is much to say.
The Rav ztz"l wrote [קובץ ג' רלט]:
שבים אנו אל מושגי הטבע גם במובן הרוחני, וזוהי תפארתנו. הרוחניות, המוסר, השקיקה האלהית, כשהיא מוכרחת בתור חטיבה טבעית, הרי היא מארגנת את האדם העולם והחיים במערכה של אושר עליון נשגב אידיאלי, והעולם הולך ומתתקן במלכות שדי. מי זה לא ישתוקק לזה, שיהיה הטוב והצדק טבע קנוי בכל נפש, ומי זה לא ישאף, שהוד החיים העליונים בהוד רוחניותם ושיגוב מציאותם יהיו מאוגדים בעוצם הטבעיות שלנו. מי לא ידע שנצחון הטוב והחיים על הרע והמות הוא מאוחז בהקביעות של הטוב והחיים בתוכיות הטבע המסודרת האיתנה. ובתוך המושג של הטבע מבינים אנו כבר, מה היא העבודה האלהית, מה היא חובתה של תורה בקיומה ותלמודה, עד כמה העולם צריך מזון ופרנסה רוחנית, כדי להתקיים באופיו, כדי שהאידיאליות תעמד בו בראש.
