A New Religion

".... In the meantime a new religion is emerging throughout the world, a religion in which the body is the supreme object of worship to the exclusion of all other aspects of existence. The pursuit of its pleasures has grown into a cult; its masters are the venerated priests; for its ritual no efforts are spared.

We have bartered holiness for convenience, loyalty for success, wisdom for information, joy for pleasure, tradition for fashion.

 There is no faith except in the cultivation of the heart, in the depths of the soul, in the ennoblement of the mind. And this cannot be attained amid the vulgarization of life, or without sensitivity and strain, discipline, effort, and contemplation. There is no human being without faith. But some worship idols and others the God of Israel. We are free to choose. An idol is what man creates for himself, in his own image, in the image of his concepts, for the satisfaction of his needs and desires. “Dwell in the land and cherish faith” (Psalm 37:3)—“Lig in der erd, un pasha dich mit emunah” (Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotsk). God is either of no importance or of supreme importance. Without Him all is vain: the state, civilization, the life of the individual and of society. What God means is expressed in the words: “For Your steadfast love is better than life” (Psalm 63:3). God is He whose regard for me I value more than life.

[Insecurity Of Freedom page 265]

Elchonon Ehrman - Darshinan Taama D'kra

Machalas Ha-"FOMO" - Go For "JOMO"

Eric Barker 

You hear about FOMO a lot these days. In fact, the word was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013.

What does it really mean? A recent study on the subject defined it as:

…‘‘the uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that you’re missing out – that your peers are doing, in the know about, or in possession of more or something better than you’’. Under this framing of FoMO, nearly three quarters of young adults reported they experienced the phenomenon.

It’s certainly not a good thing. And it leads you to check social media again and again and again so you don’t feel out of the loop. So you know you’re doing okay. So you don’t feel left out.

Sometimes that alleviates the anxiety — but often it doesn’t. And either way it drives you to keep running around the digital hamster wheel to feel okay with yourself.

Is this just a symptom of modern life? Is it no big deal? Or is it telling us something we need to know? And is there anything we can do to break the vicious cycle?

Research has answers. And you can fix this problem. But first, the bad news: FOMO is a lot worse than you think…

FOMO Comes From Unhappiness

Caught in the FOMO cycle? You’re probably not feeling too great about your life. FOMO often originates in unhappiness:


Our findings show those with low levels of satisfaction of the fundamental needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness tend towards higher levels of fear of missing out as do those with lower levels of general mood and overall life satisfaction.

So you’re not feeling so hot about things. Or you’re wondering if everyone else is having more fun than you. How do you scratch the itch? Check Facebook, of course:


In fact, FOMO leads people to check social media right after they wake up, before they go to bed and during meals:


Results conceptually replicated findings from Study 2, those high in FoMO tended to use Facebook more often immediately after waking, before going to sleep, and during meals.

Um, sounds uncomfortably like addiction to me…

(To learn the four things neuroscience says will keep your brain happy, click here.)

So you’re not feeling so great — whether you realize it or not — and you turn to social media to make you feel better. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…

The Facebook Illusion

We all know that Facebook doesn’t provide a very well-rounded picture of people’s lives. It’s more like the cherry-picked perfection version.

Often it seems like if bragging and showing off were banned, some people wouldn’t post anything at all.

But despite knowing this, studies say we can’t help but compare our lives to theirs:


After controlling for the possibility of reverse causality, our results suggest that (Social Network Site) users have a higher probability to compare their achievements with those of others.

And research shows this is the happiness equivalent of taking someone with a nut allergy and putting them on an all-cashew diet:


According to Burke, passive consumption of Facebook also correlates to a marginal increase in depression. “If two women each talk to their friends the same amount of time, but one of them spends more time reading about friends on Facebook as well, the one reading tends to grow slightly more depressed,” Burke says…

Again and again the happiness research shows comparisons to lives that seem better than yours, well, that’s some bad juju, hombre. As Montesquieu once said:


If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.

As Swarthmore professor Barry Schwartz writes in his excellent book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less:

“Stop paying so much attention to how others around you are doing” is easy advice to give, but hard to follow, because the evidence of how others are doing is pervasive, because most of us seem to care a great deal about status, and finally, because access to some of the most important things in life (for example, the best colleges, the best jobs, the best houses in the best neighborhoods) is granted only to those who do better than their peers. Nonetheless, social comparison seems sufficiently destructive to our sense of well-being that it is worthwhile to remind ourselves to do it less.

So you’re wondering if your life measures up and you turn to everyone else’s deliberately sculpted illusion of lifestyle perfection… This is the happiness equivalent of reading your bank statement after looking at the Forbes 400 list.

As Erica Jong once said: “Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”

Even if we logically know Facebook isn’t an accurate depiction of people’s lives, well, confronting your seeming inadequacy 24/7 against an unachievable false reality can hammer your already vulnerable self-esteem. You just can’t compete with their highly-edited topiary of lifestyle awesomeness — especially when you’re feeling a little down or anxious to begin with.


So what’s the most common response? To post something. As if to say: Look at me! I’m cool, too!

But this only strengthens the cycle. As internet maven and co-founder of Flickr, Caterina Fake, once said:


Social software is both the creator and the cure of FOMO. It’s cyclical.

And the research agrees. People with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up and slams them back down:

A roller coaster of emotion. Just like the highs and lows of addiction, eh?


But posting to alleviate your discomfort also has an important secondary effect: by presenting your carefully edited version of life awesomeness, you just made anyone who sees it feel worse. You’re spreading the virus.

Good for Facebook. Good for Haagen Dazs sales. Bad for happiness.


So this is how FOMO comes about and why it’s so awful. But how do we break the cycle?

The Problem Is Attention

Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Sounds cliche, but the research says you need to look inside:


“The problem with FOMO is the individuals it impacts are looking outward instead of inward,” McLaughlin said. “When you’re so tuned in to the ‘other,’ or the ‘better’ (in your mind), you lose your authentic sense of self. This constant fear of missing out means you are not participating as a real person in your own world.”

Facebook isn’t real life. It’s obviously not life. And it’s certainly not real. Only real life is real life. But you’re comparing yourself to fake life. (Someone cue the music from “The Matrix”, please.)


And the key to happiness really comes down to one word:

Attention.

We all have bad things we could think about. But they don’t bother us when we pay them no mind. “Look on the bright side” is a cliche, but it’s also scientifically valid.

Paul Dolan teaches at the London School of Economics and was a visiting scholar at Princeton where he worked with Nobel-Prize winner Daniel Kahneman.

He explains the importance of attention in his book, Happiness by Design: Change What You Do, Not How You Think:


Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. Attention is the glue that holds your life together… The scarcity of attentional resources means that you must consider how you can make and facilitate better decisions about what to pay attention to and in what ways. If you are not as happy as you could be, then you must be misallocating your attention… So changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive.

But when you’re caught in the loop of FOMO you tune out the real world and tune in to the fake one — Facebook.


And that’s what the research shows: people with FOMO stop paying attention to life and turn to social media for their happiness cure.

Students with FOMO pay less attention in school and are even more likely to check their phone when they’re driving:


This analysis showed that students high in FoMO were more liable to use Facebook during university lectures… Young adults who were high in fear of missing out paid greater attention to emails, text messages, and their mobile phones when driving compared to those lower on FoMO.


But how do you focus your attention so that you appreciate the real world and don’t turn to Facebook (which is only going to make you feel worse)? What can you pay attention to when life is, frankly, kinda sad or boring?


It’s deceptively simple, really…
Try Gratitude

Sounds sappy, I know. But try a simple experiment:

Look around. What good things might you be taking for granted? Home? Family? Friends?

Now take a couple seconds to imagine those were taken away from you. How would you feel? Bad things happen to us randomly, right? So to some degree, you are lucky to have what you do.

Does this exercise sound silly? Research shows it works. Mentally subtracting cherished moments from your life makes you appreciate them more, makes you grateful and makes you happier.

In fact, gratitude is arguably the king of happiness. What’s the research say? Can’t be more clear than this:


…the more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic.

And feeling gratitude doesn’t just make you happier. It’s correlated with an objectively better life:



…we found that gratitude, controlling for materialism, uniquely predicts all outcomes considered: higher grade point average, life satisfaction, social integration, and absorption, as well as lower envy and depression.

The inevitable comparisons to the fake lives on Facebook makes you feel you have less. Contemplating what you are lucky to already possess makes you feel you have more.

So maybe it’s time to look at the good things you take for granted in life rather than your Facebook wall. Turn notifications off. As the author of the FOMO study said:


“For people who feel very secure in their relationships, their relationships are important to them, but they don’t feel compelled to always be connected,” Przybylski said. Social media may not create the tendency, he said, but it likely exacerbates it by making sharing so easy. “Sometimes,” he said, “it’s good to insulate yourself from the world of possibilities.”

Alright, let’s round up what we’ve learned about FOMO and find out the best way to make sure you keep feeling good when you hear the siren song of social media…


Sum Up

Here’s where FOMO comes from and how to beat it:
FOMO starts with sadness. 
Social media makes it worse, not better. Facebook isn’t evil — but relying on it for happiness is.
Happiness is about attention. Focus on the good and you will feel good.
Gratitude is essential. Imagine losing the things you’re lucky to have and you will appreciate them.


Social media isn’t the devil. But we’re wired to compare ourselves to others and you know where that leads on a medium where everyone is cutting corners to look their best.

And Facebook can help you be happy. But don’t scroll and compare. Use it to plan face-to-face get togethers. Columbia professor John Cacioppo, the leading researcher on loneliness, says doing that can make your life better:


Facebook is merely a tool, he says, and like any tool, its effectiveness will depend on its user. “If you use Facebook to increase face-to-face contact,” he says, “it increases social capital.” So if social media lets you organize a game of football among your friends, that’s healthy. If you turn to social media instead of playing football, however, that’s unhealthy.

And when you’re with friends, put that phone away. Seeing friends and family regularly is the happiness equivalent of an extra $97,265 a year. Whatever you want to check on social media ain’t worth a hundred grand, bubba.

Forget the fake perfect lives of Facebook that lead to FOMO. Instead, try JOMO: the joy of missing out on all those illusions.

When you spend all that time staring in envy at the oh-so-cool pictures of cleverly crafted bliss on Facebook, keep one thing in mind:

It’s your life you’re missing out on.

Hefker And Daas Acheres Makneh

Dustly And G-dly

There are two ways in which the Bible speaks of the creation of man. In the first chapter of the Book of Genesis, which is devoted to the creation of the physical universe, man is described as having been created in the image and likeness of God. In the second chapter, which tells us of the commandment not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge, man is described as having been formed out of the dust of the earth. Together, image and dust express the polarity of the nature of man. He is formed of the most inferior stuff in the most superior image. In the language of the second chapter of Genesis, every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, was formed of the ground. Man, however, was made not of the ground, which is the source of all vegetation and animal life, nor out of water, which is a symbol for refreshment, blessing, and wisdom. He was made of arid dust, the stuff of the desert, which is both abundant and worthless. That the end of man is dust is an indisputable fact. But so is the end of the beast. And yet, the Bible emphasizes the absolute difference between man and all other creatures. Plants and animals were brought forth by the earth, by the waters (Genesis 1:11; 20:24) ; they emerged from “nature” and became an “organic” part of nature. Man, on the other hand, is an artifact. The Lord both created and formed him (1:26; 2:7). He came into being by a special act of creation. He did not come forth out of dust; he did not grow out of the earth. The Lord both created and formed him (1:26).

God “blew into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being” (2:7). Something of His very self God placed in man, so that he owes his existence not to the forces of nature but to the Creator of all. Man is set apart from both the plants and the beasts by the fact of God being directly involved in his coming into being. It is the knowledge of this fact that inspired the psalmist’s prayer: “Thy hands have made me and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn Thy commandments” (Psalm 119:73). Thus the statement that man was made out of dust stresses not only his fragility but also his nobility. The polarity of man may not imply an eternal contradiction. There is dignity to dust which, just as heaven, was created by God. There is, indeed, meaning and blessing in having been formed of the dust of the earth, for it is only because he is formed of the dust of the earth that man can fulfill his destiny to cultivate the earth. Yet while the duality of human nature may not imply an eternal tension, it does imply a duality of grandeur and insignificance, a relatedness to earth and an affinity with God. The duality is not based on the contrast of soul and body and the principles of good and evil. Unlike the Pythagoreans, the Bible does not regard the body as the sepulcher and prisonhouse of the soul or even as the seat and source of sin. The contradiction is in what man does with his soul and body. The contradiction lies in his acts rather than in his substance. As nature is not the counterwork of God but His creation and instrument, dust is not the contradiction of the image but its foil and complement. Man’s sin is in his failure to live what he is. Being the master of the earth, man forgets that he is servant of God.

[The Insecurity Of Freedom Page 209-210]

Elchonon Ehrman: Sfas Emes Balak - The Holy Dust Of The Land

Cannibalism

Regarding this post.  

Bilaam exclaimed מה טובו אהליך יעקב - How goodly are thy tents, O Jacob!! [Bilaam read too much Shakespere]

Rashi - He saw that the opening of the Jew's tents were not angled towards each other [so people could not peer into the tents of others].

This is a compliment. Today however, the entire thrust of modern society is that people SHOULD see into each others "tents". Part of that is the amount of flesh women expose when they don't get dressed in the morning. And a lot more is Facebook and Instagram etc. etc. where people share with the world in pictures and words what is going on in their personal lives. Then there are journalists [pro and amateur] who spend their lives sniffing out juicy stories exposing the evil people have done in order to earn their salary, get ahead and make a name for themselves. It is, in a sense, cannibalism without using knives and forks. They kill and dismember people - verbally. We must remember that not a few people have committed suicide because of public shaming. 

Elchonon Ehrman - Exploring The Power Of Eid Echad !

Update - JOIN!!!:-)

Thirty dollars for the week!!!

WOW-EEEEE!!!! If this continues for a THOUSAND WEEKS then it will add up to THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!

I just don't think I want to wait that long. Be a partner in creating a Torah website that will be visited by many thousands weekly for years and years to come IMY"H!!! We recently reached the milestone of ONE MILLION and FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND visitors. I believe that by far, not even close, the most visited and active [one person] Torah blog on the planet. הודו לה' כי טוב. Not about me. I am NOTHING. It is about TORAS HASHEM and EMES ["emet" if you prefer] or at least the search for it. I think - know - that this is a sound investment. We are in the process of building it but are still short of the necessary funds. I have donated thousands of hours to you [BI-SIMCHA UBI-AHAVA!!!:-)] - and try to ask for nothing in return. But I DO ask that you help me continue.     

So THANKS TO THOSE WHO ALREADY JOINED THIS HISTORIC [!!!] campaign and I ENCOURAGE others to PLEASE have a share. If you tell me that you missed ONE MEAL because of your donation it will be refunded. 

Bi-ahava rabba,

Me

Almost Extinct

The previous post reminded me of a story:

A non-religious person once came to the home of Rav Shlomo Freifeld ztz"l, the founder of Yeshivas Sha'ar Yashuv. He saw a picture of gedolim on the wall and asked who they are. The Rosh Yeshiva explained "An almost extinct species called 'human beings'". 

Let us be human beings!!!

The Scandal Of The Modern Media

לע"נ מרת אסתר בת ר' שמואל
מרת חנה בת ר' מאיר זאב
מרת חנה בת ר' יצחק יונה

I am no politician sympathizer [or Nazi sympathizer for that matter....Although I did sympathize with Cub fans during that 100 year dry spell]. Politics is filled with so much filth and corruption I generally [with exceptions] find that discussing it is a waste of time or worse. There is no benefit and it just brings us down into that dark world. Talking about the parsha or the latest sugya one is learning is faaaar more interesting, stimulating and elevating. Pashut.

That being said - The country is abuzz about the allegations about the wife of a certain politician who misused public funds and might land in jail. True or not true? Did she or didn't she?

This is my take: I don't know the truth [even though I wonder that if she really spent hundreds of thousands of shekels on takeout food she should be really REALLY obese by now] and can't find myself caring all that much. Avraham said to Avimelech that he was afraid they would kill him if he admitted that "Sarah" was his wife because "רק אין יראת אלקים במקום הזה" - JUST because there is no fear of G-d in this place. No fear of G-d - ANYTHING can happen. That is why there is corruption and dishonesty on all levels of politics, business and wherever money is to be had. Pashut. [And we all know that wearing a kippah is no guarantee of yiras shomayim. Sadly].

Why SHOULDN'T people cheat and steal? Life is about pleasure so if you aren't going to get caught - why not?? I am not a big believer in secular morality. It exists but only at the whims of those who ascribe to it. Those whims can change at any moment [and often do]. A man believes that it is immoral to cheat on his wife - until he meets a women who is being very flirtatious with him at a party and he thinks/hopes he won't get caught and goes for it - מעשים שבכל יום. NOBODY thinks infidelity is moral but a very high percentage are involved in it. The prospect of losing their family and much of their money is also not a sufficient deterrent. The only deterrent that can really stop a person on a constant basis is a very powerful sense of G-d's presence right here right now coupled with the knowledge that the nature of his next NINETY TRILLION YEARS [which is just the beginning of eternity...] is going to be determined by his actions here. No amount of money or pleasure is enough to sacrifice on its behalf NINETY TRILLION YEARS of suffering.

Imagine a person is told - you can eat that delicious piece of cake you crave, but it will give you brain AND pancreatic cancers from which you will suffer for the next 20 years compounded by blindness and deafness and unbearable skin diseases. Would he eat the cake? Is a forbidden woman worth it for that price? What about ten million dollars?? OF COURSE NOT!! But some old fashioned fear of punishment [which is almost NEVER spoken about today] is a SUPER DETERRENT. The higher levels are יראת הרוממות that we alluded to before - a clear sense of G-d's majesty RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW and then put some serious AHAVAS HASHEM as the "cherry on top" [Heb. " דובדבן שבקצפת"] and you have a WELL BEHAVED INDIVIDUAL!!:-)

As Fyodor Dostoyevsky is often quoted as saying [when he wasn't asking G-d how he got stuck with such a name] "If there is no G-d then anything is permitted". If one doesn't believe then to him all morals are subjective and almost impossible to enforce.

BUT THAT IS NOT MY MAIN POINT:-)!!!! We have already discussed that many times before....

MY MAIN POINT IS that I don't understand why the whole country [in our global village it is almost the whole world] has to know about this?? Why it has to be splattered ALL OVER THE NEWS FEEDS??? If she is guilty then she will be punished. BUT WHAT IT IS OUR BUSINESS??? SHE IS A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND HER BLOOD IS BEING SPILLED BY THE MEDIA. SICK!!!!

Why are they doing this to her?? Because they care sooooooo much about honesty and the importance of having upright, trustworthy people in positions of power and influence???

NO! They are spilling her blood BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SELL PAPERS OR HAVE TRAFFIC ON THEIR WEBSITE TO MAKE MONEY. Murder for money. PASHUT. HYPOCRITES!! 

And it is not just her. The media does it ALL THE TIME!!! They murder [lashon hara is equated to murder] in order to make money. 

And we keep buying their papers, visiting their websites and blogs [here I had an inclination to hyperlink disgusting "religious" blogs  to make my point - but I won't] and watching their TV programs. It is a tacit societal contract. We the media will dig up all the filth about people we can find and share it with you. You will read and watch. Advertisers will advertise. So everybody will either be entertained or make money - ON THE BLOOD OF OTHER HUMAN BEINGS. SCANDALOUS!!

Welcome to modern society, of which we [myself included] are active participants. 

NAUSEATING! 

Elchonon Ehrman - Pilpul Nechmad On Heter Moavi Lavo Bi-kahal

Suicide And The Disintegration Of Family

From the current issue of "The Week" magazine [which I hadn't heard of until about a minute ago:-)]. Hat tip - R' Shmuel Tzvi Rauch.

When my wife told me amid our morning rush that she'd just heard on the kitchen radio the words "Anthony Bourdain" and "suicide," I was sure she was mistaken. Not Bourdain. On his CNN show and in his writing, the culinary adventurer radiated a deep appreciation for life, for people, for culture, for beauty. He hungrily slurped in experience like a bowl of noodles. I confess that I irrationally grew angry when I realized that yes, he'd surrendered to the darkness he battled throughout his life. Fame, of course, serves as no shield from despair. But I know and love people who share his struggle, and worried what they would take away from the fact that someone so widely admired could see death as preferable to one more day in this disappointing world.

Every year, about 45,000 people commit suicide in the U.S. — twice as many as are killed in homicides. Each of these deaths has its own circumstances, but as Kirsten Powers says this week in USA Today, the steadily rising toll of despair tells us "something is wrong with our culture." Family and community bonds are disintegrating; loneliness is rampant. At the heart of human experience is a paradox: We are each trapped inside the boundaries of our flesh, alone with our histories, our wounds, our brokenness. Yet our isolation is an illusion — a constriction of perception. All the great spiritual traditions teach the same truth: We are connected in a fundamental way to everyone and to everything. As he traveled the world, delighting in the ordinary people he met, Bourdain seemed to understand this intuitively. But friends say he worked himself into exhaustion, and Bourdain once noted that although he had "the best job in the world," he often woke up in hotels far from the people he loved. "The truth is," he said, "I'm alone for most of that time."

If this master storyteller left us a lesson, it is this: You are not truly alone. People care about you more than you realize. Please don't leave us. Reach out.

Someday We Will All Be Together!!!

Print Out For Shabbos Balak!!! - BEAUTIFUL!

ר' צדוק הכהן מלובלין - פרי צדיק במדבר פרשת בלק

ג] בגמרא (ברכות י"ב ב) ביקשו לקבוע פרשת בלק בקריאת שמע וכו' מאי טעמא וכו' אלא אמר רבי יוסי בר אבין משום דכתיב בה האי קרא כרע שכב כארי וכלביא מי יקימנו. ופירש רש"י דדמי לבשכבך ובקומך שהקב"ה שומרנו בשכבנו ובקומנו. וקשה מה זה שייכות לקריאת שמע שהוא קבלת עול מלכות שמים ועול מצוות ולדבר בדברי תורה בשכבך ובקומך לפסוק זה שה' יתברך שומרנו. ומהרש"א גריס זה הפסוק הן עם כלביא יקום וגו' וכתב שכן הוא בתנחומא ובאמת במדרש רבה (פרשה זו כ', כ') ותנחומא (פרשה זו י"ד) דרשו פסוק זה הן עם וגו' לענין קריאת שמע שחרית וערבית אך לא הובא לענין שרצו לקבוע בקריאת שמע. וגם רש"י ז"ל הביא מדרש זה על פסוק הן עם כלביא וגו' ומכל מקום כאן לא הגי' מפסוק זה.

אך איתא במדרש רבה (דברים רבה א', ב') מוכיח אדם אחרי חן ימצא זה משה ממחליק לשון זה בלעם שהחליק בנבואותיו וגבה לבם ונפלו בשטים והיינו במה שאמר כרע שכב וגו' ובגמרא שם כל הקורא קריאת שמע על מטתו כאילו אוחז חרב של שתי פיות בידו וכו' וחרב פיפיות בידם (תהלים קמ"ט, ו') ואף דכתיב אחר כך לעשות נקמה בגוים וגו' עיקר הכוונה בהחרב פיפיות להרוג היצר הרע וכמו שאמרו אחר כך מזיקין בדלין הימנו. ושתי פיות הן נגד שני שורשי הקליפות שלושים וחמש מימינא שלושים וחמש משמאלא קליפת עשו וקליפת ישמעאל ועיקר הפחד הוא בלילה וכמו שנאמר (משלי ג', כ"ד) אם תשכב לא תפחד וכן ושכבתם ואין מחריד (ויקרא כ"ו, ו') אך שם יש לפרש פחד וחרדה מביאת שונא גם כן. אך כתיב (שיר השירים ג', ז') הנה מטתו שלשלמה ששים גבורים סביב לה וגו' מפחד בלילות ואם מפני פחד שונא שלא יפול עליו מה יועילו ששים גבורים. אך בגמרא (מגילה ט"ו ב) דרשו על הפסוק (ישעיה כ"ח, ו') ולגבורה משיבי מלחמה ולגבורה זה המתגבר על יצרו משיבי מלחמה שנושאין ונותנין במלחמתה של תורה וזהו הפירוש מגבורי ישראל המתגברים על יצרם מפחד בלילות היינו מהפגם שנקרא מקרה לילה. וכעין שאמרו (ברכות י"ד א) כל המשביע עצמו מדברי תורה ולן אין מבשרים אותו בשורות רעות שנאמר (משלי י"ט, כ"ג) ושבע ילין בל יפקד רע והוא גם כן מרמז על פגם זה שנקרא רע בעיני ה' כמו שאמרו בנדה (י"ג ב). והמספר ששים גבורים יש לומר דיש שבעים פנים לתורה והיינו נגד השבע מדות כשכל אחד כלול מעשר הם שבעים. ובתורה שבעל פה יש ששה סדרי משנה כנגד ששת ימי המעשה דמדה שביעית שהוא מדת מלכות פה תורה שבעל פה הוא בעצמו התורה שבעל פה. וכשכל אחד כלול מעשר הוא ששים וזהו ששים גבורים וגו'. ובגמרא (שבת ס"ג א) חגור חרבך על ירך גבור הודך והדרך (תהלים מ"ה, ד') האי בדברי תורה כתיב וזהו כולם אחוזי חרב מלומדי מלחמה במלחמתה של תורה איש חרבו על ירכו כמו שנאמר חגור חרבך על ירך היינו שעל ידי הדברי תורה ינצל וישמר מפגם זה וכמו שמובא בזוה"ק (ח"א ר"ב א) דהא לית לך מלה לתברא יצר הרע אלא אורייתא וזהו גבור הודך והדרך דמדת צדיק דנטיר ברית נקרא יפה תואר ויפה מראה כמו שנאמר אצל יוסף הצדיק היינו שהיה גוף נקי ויפה מפגם זה וכמו שאמר רבינו הקדוש זצוק"ל דפרשה הלא כבני כושיים וגו' בעמוס קאי על פגם זה דהפוגם נקרא כושי ומכוער וזהו מפחד בלילות:
והנה בספר ליקוטי תורה מהאריז"ל פרשה זו הקשה למה נזכר בתורה מה שאמר בלעם תמות נפשי מות ישרים כיון שלא נתקיים שהרי מת בחרב. אך יש לומר שמה שאמר תמות נפשי לא היה כוונתו על מיתת הגוף רק על חיי הנפש והוא העולם הבא וכעין דאיתא בזוה"ק (ח"ג קכ"ז א) על שמשון ואית מאן דאמר דלית ליה חולקא בההוא עלמא מאי טעמא בגין דאמר תמות נפשי עם פלשתים וגו' והיינו ממה שאמר תמות נפשי היינו מיתת הנפש לעולם הבא שרצה למסור גם חלקו לעולם הבא בשביל שינקום נקמת ישראל מהפלשתים. וכן כאן היה כוונת בלעם על מיתת הנפש לעולם הבא שיהיה בין הישרים. והנה השגת ותפיסת בלעם לא היה על הצדיקים והכשרים שבישראל כי הוא לא היה לו השגה בהם רק כל השגתו וראייתו היה רק על הפושעים שבישראל שאין להם חלק לעולם הבא. ובמשנה ריש פרק חלק (סנהדרין צ' א) נמנו שבעה שאין להם חלק לעולם הבא שלושה מלכים וארבעה הדיוטות ואחד מהארבעה הוא בלעם. ויש להבין הלא התחלת הפרק הוא כל ישראל יש להם חלק לעולם הבא ואלו שאין להם חלק ומה שייכות יש לבלעם לכל ישראל והוא אינו בכללם. אך ענין המספר שלושה מלכים וארבעה הדיוטות היינו שיש הרבה ונכללים בשבע מדות שהם בקליפה נגד שבע מדות בקדושה. ושלושה מלכים הם לעומת שלושת האבות וכנגדן בקליפה שלושה מלכים וארבעה הדיוטות ומטעם זה אנשי כנסת הגדולה שמנו ביקשו למנות עוד אחד מישראל שהיה קשה להם למנות בלעם בכלל השבעה דמה טיבו לכלל ישראל וביקשו למנות שלמה המלך ע"ה שהיה מרכבה למדת מלכות ונכתב עליו שפגם כל כך ורצו למנות אותו השביעי שהוא נגד מדת מלכות עד שיצאה בת קול כמו שאמרו שם (ק"ד ב) ומנו לבלעם לשביעי. ודורשי רשומות היו אומרים כולן באים לעולם הבא והיינו רק הששה שהם מישראל דכתיב (ישעיה ס', כ"א) ועמך כולם צדיקים ואם היה נמנה חס ושלום גם נגד מדת מלכות אז חס ושלום לא היה תקנה לשונאיהם של ישראל. אך באמת במדה שביעית בחינת כנסת ישראל שם אין שום פגם ומשום הכי מצאו הדורשי רשומות שכולן באין לעולם הבא ונשאר במשנה שנכתב שלושה מלכים ושלושה הדיוטות מישראל ובלעם נמנה עמהם לשביעי. וזה הועיל בתפילתו מה שביקש תמות נפשי מות ישרים שהיה נמנה בין ישראל שאין להם חלק לעולם הבא ועל זה ביקש תמות נפשי מות ישרים שיהיה נמנה עמהם:



וזה ענין מה שאמרו במדרש (במדבר רבה ב', י"ז) משה שהיה אוהב את ישראל משל אותם בכוכבים וכו' אבל בלעם שהיה שונא אותם משל אותם בעפר אבל הושע שהיה בינוני לא אוהב ולא שונא משלן כחול וכו'. ויש להבין איך יתכן לומר על הושע שלא היה אוהב ישראל חס ושלום. אך הכוונה דמשה רבינו ע"ה ראה רק הצדיקים שבישראל ועמך כולם צדיקים לכן משל אותם ככוכבים על דרך מה שאמרו (מגילה ט"ז א) כשהן עולין עולין עד לכוכבים ובלעם שהיה שונא אותם לא ראה רק הפושעים לכן משל אותם בעפר כמו שאמרו (שם) כשהן יורדין יורדין עד לעפר. והושע ראה שניהם צדיקים וההיפך.
וזהו הפירוש במדרש רבה (דברים הנ"ל) ממחליק לשון זה בלעם שהחליק בנבואותיו ונפלו בשיטים. והיינו במה שנתן להם תקיפות ששום ישראל לא יאבד ועל ידי זה יכול לסמוך על זה לחטוא חס ושלום. ואם שהאמת כן הוא שכל מי שהוא מישראל לא יאבד חס ושלום אבל יסבלו מקודם הרבה והרבה עד שיתבררו ויוצרפו. ועל זה אמרו בגמרא (חגיגה ט"ז א) אל תאמינו ברע וכו' אם יאמר לך יצר הרע חטוא והקב"ה מוחל אל תאמין וכו' ובלעם החליק בנבואותיו שהקב"ה יברר כל מי שהוא מישראל. וזהו הענין שמקודם אמר הן עם כלביא יקום וכארי יתנשא שהקשה בבעל הטורים למה שם הקדים לביא לארי ובפסוק זה להיפך כרע שכב כארי וכלביא מי יקימנו. אך שם מדבר לפי סדר הקימה ביום בתחילה יתגבר רק כלביא ואחר כך כארי יתנשא. וכאן אמר כרע על דרך מה שנאמר כרע נפל שאף שנפל חס ושלום מכל מקום שכב כארי שיתגבר כארי לשוב ואף אם יפול אחר כך ממדריגתו עוד הפעם חס ושלום מכל מקום יהיה כלביא על כל פנים ואף שיפול עוד הפעם חס ושלום מכל מקום מי יקימנו והוא על פי מה שמובא בזוה"ק (פרשה זו קפ"ה ב) אם עוונות תשמר י"ה אם חובין סגיאו וכו' וכל דרגין אסתימו בדינא וכו' מי יעמוד ודאי מי ירפא לך וכו' מי יעמוד דכל אורחין דתיובתא פתיחין מיניה והיינו דמי גימטריא חמישים שערי בינה והוא תשובה וכמו שנאמר (ישעיה ו', י') ולבבו יבין ושב וגו' וזהו הרהור תשובה מי יעמוד. וכן בתיקונים (שבסוף הספר תיקון ה') קם רבי שמעון וכו' ה' צבאות יעץ ומי יפר. וזה שבא בלעם בהחלקת לשונו להגביה לבם שאפילו אחר כל הנפילות ויחזור ויפול כלביא ויפול ומכל מקום מי יקימנו. וזה שאמר שעל ידי זה נפלו בשטים. ובאמת הדברים אמיתים אבל רק בדיעבד שאל יפול לב האדם חס ושלום ולא יתיאש כי כל מי שהוא מישראל לא ידח חס ושלום ויתברר ויתלבן עד שיהיה בכלל ועמך כולם צדיקים.
וזהו הפירוש בגמרא ביקשו לקבוע פרשת בלק בקריאת שמע שהוא קבלת עול מלכות שמים ועול תורה ועול מצוות. ופן יפול לב האדם היודע נגעי לבבו כמה קלקל ובאיזו פנים יקבל עול תורה ועול מצוות על זה רצו לקבוע פרשת בלק בקריאת שמע שיהיה להתחזקות שלא יפול בדעתו כמו שהאמת הוא כן שלא ידח ממנו נדח ויתברר לבסוף ועמך כולם צדיקים אך הוא רק לעולם הבא. ובשבת שנאמר (תהלים צ"ב, ב') טוב להודות לה' ואיתא בפרקי דרבי אליעזר (פרק י"ט) כמה דאת אמר (משלי כ"ח, י"ג) מודה ועוזב ירוחם דשבת זמן תשובה וכן הוא במדרש (בראשית רבה כ"ב, י"ג) כך כוחה של תשובה וכו' עמד אדם הראשון ואמר מזמור שיר ליום השבת וכו' ומי שישים אל לבו וירצה להטיב מעשיו יוכל לזכות מעין עולם הבא שיתברר ועמך כולם צדיקים:

Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh - Links

One of my greatest merits in this world is that I lived on Ohr Hachaim Street in the Old City for about 18 years, opposite the shul of the Ohr Hachaim himself. Today was the yahrtzeit.

The best way to remember him is to learn his Torah!! 

Elchonon Ehrman - Acharei Rabbim Lihatos Part 2

A Jew Is Never Lost !!

דגל מחנה אפרים במדבר פרשת בלק
עוד יש לפרש לא הביט און ביעקב ולא ראה עמל בישראל ה' אלהיו עמו ותרועת מלך בו. יבואר זה על פי דאיתא בזוה"ק (ח"ג ע"ג א) אורייתא וקודשא בריך הוא וישראל כולהו חד עד כאן, ולפי זה הוא כלל גדול אפילו כשאדם חוטא הרבה אז הוא נקרא ניצוץ ישראל ויש בו חלק אלהי ממעל ובודאי יחזור בתשובה על כרחו, כי אי אפשר ליפרד כיון שהם בקרבו ממש, וזה יש לומר שמרמז הפסוק לא הביט און ביעקב במדריגה הפחותה שבישראל ומכל שכן שלא ראה עמל בישראל היינו דאיסתייעא מילתא שיחזור בתשובה והטעם מפני ה' אלהיו עמו ממש יחד כאחד וגם תרועת מלך בו היינו תורה ע' שנדרשת בע' פנים הוא גם כן בו בקרבו ממש ולכך לא ידח ממנו נדח והבן:

Elchonon Ehrman - Acharei Rabbim Lihatos Part 1

Shem Mishmuel Balak

Rationally Irrational

For me, this is a lesson in the capacity of seemingly rational to believe something so completely irrational. They buried a man in full view of thousands of people after he was pronounced dead by a team of doctors and yet people still  insist that he never died and he is walking around SOMEWHERE, 118 years old. But nobody has ever seen him since he died. People believe what they want to believe.

Let us take another example: Disgraced rabbis. You can have a hundred woman [or boys...] who come forward with stories and yet these rabbi's followers will swear on their lives that they are completely innocent. He could be found guilty in a court law based on broad testimony. He could be in jail. Maybe he even admitted guilt. No matter. He is a complete tzadik in the eyes of the devoted. Character assassination, they say. People keep following them, throw money at them, learn from them etc. etc.

Of course there are cases where people are unjustly accused but למיחש מיהא בעי - there has to be some level of suspicion. But no - followers of these people are passionately devoted to believing that their leaders are completely innocent.    

In general, contemporary research has proven again and again and yet again that most of what people decide and believe is not based on rational faculties, even though we LIKE to view ourselves as rational beings. [As in the books of the Ponovitcher Rov's nephew, Prof. Daniel Kahanamen]. 

Stevie And Tiger

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: “How is the singing career going?”

Stevie Wonder replies: “Not too bad! How’s the golf?”

Woods replies: “Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right now.”

Stevie Wonder says: “I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.

Tiger Woods says: “You play golf?”

Stevie Wonder says: “Oh, yes, I’ve been playing for years.”

Woods says: “But, you’re blind. How can you play golf if you’re blind?”

Wonder replies: “I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or
farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.”

“But, how do you putt?” asks Woods.

“Well,” says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.”

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie: “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”

Wonder replies: “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole.”

Woods thinks about it and says, “OK, I’m game for that, when would you like to play?”

Stevie says, “Pick a night.”

Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’
‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’

Learn Even When It Isn't Exciting

לזכות ידיד נפשי רבי גיל אמיר בן פנינה וכל משפחתו היקרה

One of the most tragic figures of the 19th century was Rav Yitzchak Yaakov Reines. His personal life was beset by tragedy and sadness [a sickly wife, the early death of his beloved son etc.] and his public life as well. This is all documented in detail in the sefer איש המאורות by Geulah Bat Yehuda [whose life was also beset by tragedy and she passed away recently at the age of 101...]. He was a gadol bi-yisrael, a unique out-of-the-box-thinking Gaon but was never accepted by other gedolei yisroel and by the masses for various reasons. One was that he was a Zionist-Mizrachi-ite and that put him at odds with most of the other gedolim of his time. Another is that he was also a believer in what we would call today "Torah-Umadda" and even opened a high-school where secular studies were part of the curriculum - unheard of back then.

I would like to give him some nachas in the Olam Ha-emes and "make his lips move in the kever" by sharing some of his Torah taking him out of the תהום הנשייה - The abyss of forgetfulness, and bringing him back to life. He was a prolific and especially erudite author so there is a lot of quality material.

The gemara in Eiruvin [64a] teaches:

..... "ורועה זונות יאבד הון" כל האומר שמועה זו נאה וזו אינה נאה מאבד הונה של תורה [עירובין ס"ד ע"א עי' רש"י שביאר הדרשה].

He who keeps company with harlots will lose his wealth [Mishlei 29/3]. [This means] that if someone says that this teaching is pleasant and this teaching is not pleasant will lose his wealth of Torah.

Anybody who thinks about this gemara for more than a half a second starts scratching his head. BY GOLLY! How did זונות get into the Beis Medrash???

Explained Rav Reines [ספר חותם תכנית מושגי הנמצאים פרק א]

הכוונה הוא על דרך דמיון ושיווי המושגים, לקיחת האשה יש להיות בשביל המועיל לתכלית נצחיי, ואם יכוין בשביל הערב תאותו לסוף ימאוס בה ויחשוק לאחרת ואחר כך עוד לאחרת עד שיאבד הונו. וכמו כן לימוד התורה יש להיות רק בשביל המועיל ולתכלית נצחי, ואם יכוין רק להנאתו ויברור ללמוד דברי תורה כאלה ששכלו יתפעל מזה, לסוף יאבד הונה של תורה, ימאס בהלכה זו ויבחור בהלכה אחרת אשר ידמה שמזה יתפעל יותר וידעה יותר ולסוף ללמוד רק חכמות אחרות שיחשוב כי מהם יהנה יותר וישליך תורת ה' אחרי גוו.

When you take a wife it should be for the sake of achieving eternal benefit. She will be an Eishes Chayil and you will build a Torah home. But if a person only takes a wife because she is physically alluring, he will get sick of her and then drop her for another beautiful woman. Then he will get sick of HER and go on to the next one. [The story of just about everybody in Hollywood and a significant percentage of the world population]. Eventually he will lose all of his wealth [I guess because wives and divorces are expensive.... One famous man said that he is sick of getting divorced. Next time he is just going to find a women he hates and give her his house:-)].

So too in Torah. One must learn because it provides eternal meaning. If one only goes for the "geshmak" "exciting" Torahs and skips the "dry boring stuff" then eventually he will drop the whole thing and go learn other wisdoms that he might think are more exciting.

This is what happened in his time. A lot of boys abandoned Torah because they thought that in university the studies will be more intellectually stimulating. Today - people stop learning because they want to watch movies or surf the internet. They find that more stimulating than Torah. If one learns because he knows that it is the right thing to do then the sway of external nonsense and emptiness will ring hollow.

So now the gemara makes FARRR more sense:-).

HKB"H in his great love and mercy for me put into my brain that connection with another gemara that according to Rav Kook is expressing almost the exact SAME IDEA.

The pasuk says והיה אם שמוע תשמעו. The gemara [Brachos 40] expounds אם שמוע בישן תשמע בחדש ואם יפנה לבבך שוב לא תשמע - If you hear the old [and review the same "boring stuff"] then you will hear the new. But if you turn your heart away then you will no longer hear.

Explains Maran HaRav in his עין אי"ה:

"ד"א אם שמע בישן תשמע כחדש ואם יפנה לבבך שוב לא תשמע".

חיבוב ידיעת התורה אפשרית בב' אופנים, האחת היא מצד ערך התורה ושלימותה, דהיינו האהבה הזכה הראויה לה, והב' היא מצד חשק כל ידיעה שהוא בטבע האדם. והנה הוא תנאי מיוחד לתורה שתהי' האהבה אלי' מצד אהבתה וערכה הקדוש, ע"כ גם דברים ישנים שכבר שמע, בכל יום יהיו בעיניך כחדשים. ורק אז ישמע ג"כ בחדש, שיערה עליו רוח להשכיל ג"כ דברים חדשים, ויהי' כמעין המתגבר וכנהר שאינו פוסק כחק העוסק בתורה לשמה , אם שמע בישן, שהוא מורה שהשמיעה היא מאהבת התורה, תשמע בחדש ג"כ.

ואם יפנה לבבך מן הישן ולא תאבה רק לשמע חדשות, שהוא אות שאהבת התורה מצד ערכה המרומם והנעלה נאבד מרגש נפשך ונשאר רק החלק הגס של אהבת ידיעות חדשות, שוב לא תשמע, כי לגס נפש כזה לא תטיב התורה פני' ולא יתקבלו על לבבו עניני התורה, וסוף שיאבד ג"כ החשק הראוי אפי' לערך ידיעות חדשות, כי רוצה ד' את יראיו.

If he learns because he appreciates the eternal value of Torah then he will see that the "old" is really filled with new and exciting ideas. אם שמוע בישן תשמעו בחדש. But if he learns only for the exciting "chiddushim" that he has never heard and finds חזרה boring, then he will eventually abandon the whole project and find other things to do.


So if we combine the two teachings of Chazal based on the two great Rabbonim חובבי ציון גדולי תורה, then we will say that one must appreciate all parts of Torah, even the "dry" ones [the architecture of the mishkan, the types of blemishes that disqualify animals etc.] and we must review what we have learned even though we think we already know it and want to go on to new, more exciting material. The reason is that Torah is Hashem's eternal word and there is inherent value in its study regardless of the intellectual stimulation we derive from it [although the intellectual stimulation will come!:-)].

A Pilpul NORA On "Ain Buir Chometz Ela B'sreifa"

What Should You Do When You Hear Kefirah

Get outta there!!:-)

שומע מאדם דברי כפירה, האם יברח ממנו, או שימחה בו
שאלה. יהודי תלמיד חכם עמד בתור לדואר, לידו עמד אדם הרחוק מתורה ומצות, כשראה את התלמיד חכם, התחיל רגש הקנאה לגאות בו, וכדי להשתיק את מצפונו, פער את פיו, והתחיל לדבר דברי כפירה. ויש לשאול מה יעשה התלמיד חכם, האם ימחה בו למרות שהוא יודע שזה לא יעזור, ואדרבה זה יגביר את תאוותו לדבר עוד ועוד, או ימשיך לעמוד שם, ויכניס את ידיו לאזניו כדי לא לשמוע, או שמא יברח משם, למרות שיפסיד את תורו?

תשובה. נאמר בסנהדרין דף קו ע"א שלשה היו באותה עצה, אלו הן: בלעם איוב ויתרו, בלעם שיעץ נהרג, איוב ששתק נידון ביסורין, ויתרו שברח זכו בני בניו לישב בלשכת הגזית. והנה בגמרא בסוטה (דף יא ע"א) אמרינן שנענשו במדה כנגד מדה. ולכאורה יש להבין מה המדה כנגד מדה, שלכן איוב נדון ביסורים? והשיב על כך הגרי"ז מבריסק זצ"ל דהנה טעמו של איוב ששתק, היה בגלל שחשב שגם אם ימחה, לא יועיל לו, כי דבריו לא יתקבלו, ועל כן נענש ביסורים, כי מי שיש לו יסורים צועק, אעפ"י שיודע שהצעקה לא תועיל לו, מכל מקום כשכואב צועקים, וגם במצרים אם היה כואב לו, היה עליו לצעוק, אף על פי שלא יועיל, ואם לא צעק שמע מינה שהגזירה לא כאבה לוכו.

גם בעניננו אף שאינו חייב למחות בעוברי עבירה להכעיס, כמבואר בביאור הלכה (סימן תרח ד"ה אבל), מ"מ כששומע דברי כפירה, צריך לכאוב לו הדבר, וכשכואב צועקים. אך נראה שאינו חייב למחות ממש, אלא די שיברח משם, או שישים את ידיו באזניו שגם זה מחאה, וראיה שהרי יתרו לא מחה ורק ברח משם וגם זה נחשב מחאה. ואם יברח משם ויפסיד את תורו, יזכה לדברים גדולים עבור זה, כמו שהסביר מו"ח מרן הגרי"ש אלישיב שליט"א (הערות על סוטה שם) שלכן זכה יתרו שבניו ישבו בלשכת הגזית, שכיון שברח והפסיד את משרתו בין יועצי פרעה, זכה ובניו זכו למשרה בלשכת הגזית.
ויעוין בחשוקי חמד בבא קמא (דף קיג ע"ב) במעשה שקבוצה של תלמידים התחזקו בתורה ובמצות, ורצו לעבור ללמוד בישיבה, וההורים הסכימו בתנאי שקודם ישלימו את לימודם בבית הספר. התלמידים הסכימו, אך הם שואלים איך עליהם להתנהג כשהמורה יגיד דברי כפירה, האם עליהם למחות, ולקיים את הנאמר בתורה (ויקרא יט יז) 'הוכיח תוכיח את עמיתך', אך בזה הם יעוררו סערה, ועלול לפגום בהסכם שלהם עם ההורים, ולא יוכלו בסופו של דבר להגיע לישיבה. או שמא ישתקו, אך נוסף על ביטול מצות מחאה, יהיה בזה גם משום חילול ה', 'יֵרָאה כאילו הם מסכימים לדבריו?

והשיב מו"ח מרן הגרי"ש אלישיב שליט"א שיש לברוח ממקום כזה ששומעים בו דברי כפירה. ואם ישימו פקקים באזנים ולא ישמעו, אין חייבים למחות. ואין הדבר דומה לאיוב שהיה שר גדול ויועץ המלך, שדבריו היו עושים רושם, הגם שפרעה לא יקבלם, אבל תלמיד זה דברי מחאתו לא יעשו כל רושם. 'וחכמת סופרים תסרח, ויראי חטא ימאסו', כמבואר במסכת סוטה (דף מט ע"ב) וירויח במחאתו רק דבר אחד שיזרקו אותו מבית הספר, ולא יוכל להמשיך בישיבה, ולכן אמר מו"ח שליט"א שראוי בכה"ג לשתוק.

ויש להוסיף על דברי מו"ח שליט"א את דברי החזו"א (שביעית סימן יב סק"ט) שבמקום שיכול לבא לידי שנאה ומריבה עם עמי הארץ, שזה גם כן איסור, ולפעמים האיסור הזה חמור יותר מהאיסור שאנו באים להצילן ממנו, ומותר גם לתת להם ספק איסור. 

Happiness Is A Choice

Happiness comes from choosing to be happy with whatever you do, strengthening your closest relationships and taking care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally.

Thus revealed a recent survey of Harvard’s class of 1980 - with data likely biased to those feeling good enough about their lives to respond to the survey. I compared responses between those “extremely happy” and the rest of the respondents.

These revelations are in line with three earlier studies: The Grant and Gluek longistudinal studies and a 2010 survey of the same class.

Grant Study

The 75 year longitudinal Grant and Glueck studies led by George Vaillant and Sheldon Glueck had two main findings:

Happiness is love or "Good relationships keep us happier and healthier."

If alcoholism is not the root of all evil, it is closely correlated with it.

2010 Survey

An earlier survey of this same group suggested that “happiness is good”. Actually, happiness comes from three goods. Everyone is motivated by a blend of 1. Doing good for others, 2. Doing things they are good at, 3. Doing good for me. Given this, Dan Doctoroff and I suggested our classmates (and everyone else) focus on three things:


Good for others:
Cherish your most important relationships.
Be a contribution.

Good at it:
Do more of what you're good at and less of what you're not so good at.

Good for me:
Take care of yourself, your health and well-being, your financial security, and your work/life balance.

2015 Survey

This year’s survey suggests you can be happier if you: Choose to be happy with whatever you do, strengthen your closest relationships and take care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally.

Choose to be happy with whatever you do

The correlation between happiness and occupation, income or wealth is far less that the correlation between happiness and how people feel about their occupation, income or wealth.
47% of those extremely happy said they thoroughly enjoy what they are currently doing versus
14% of everyone else

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62% have not and do not expect to hit a mid-life crisis versus
38% of everyone else

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49% of those extremely happy said they are already pursuing their dreams versus
18% of everyone else

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67% of those extremely happy said the happiest period of their lives is now versus
20% of everyone else

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Strengthen your closest relationships

The most important happiness choice is to invest in your closest relationship whether it’s a spouse, partner, parent, sibling or friend.
75% of those extremely happy give a top box rating to the importance of success in their intimate relationships versus
49% of everyone else

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77% of those extremely happy said the state of their relationship was either the “greatest” of “very good” versus
48% of everyone else

Take care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally

We all know that exercising and taking care of yourself correlates with good health. The happiest among us actually do exercise and take care of ourselves.
78% of those extremely happy said they exercise at least three times per week versus
57% of everyone else (and many of them lied)

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93% of those extremely happy said they are in excellent or very good health versus
74% of everyone else

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68% of those extremely happy think they are “set” or "on track" for retirement versus
49% of everyone else

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10% of those extremely happy perceive themselves to be under stress versus
42% of everyone else

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44% of those extremely happy said they are at peace with their work-life balance versus
13% of everyone else

Implications for you as an individual
Choose happiness in whatever you do.
Strengthen your closest relationships.
Take care of yourself physically, financially and emotionally.

Implications for you as a leader
Focus on how your team members feel about what they are doing even more than what they are doing.
Invest in relationships with your team members.
Invest in your team members’ physical, financial and emotional well-being.

Bottom line, happiness is a choice.

If You Aren't Happy - Fake It!

"ואולם האדם אשר אין החמדה הזאת לוהטת בו כראוי, עצה טובה היא לו שיזדרז ברצונו, כדי שימשך מזה שתולד בו החמדה בטבע. כי התנועה החיצונה מעוררת הפנימית" (מסילת ישרים פרק ז).


"בעשרות השנים האחרונות התקדמו בחקר הרפואי הכללי ובחקר המוח, וגילו שכאשר אדם נתון בשמחה מפריש גופו חומרים מסוימים. הרי כל אדם הוא בעצם בית חרושת לכימיקלים, אין לנו קצה של מושג מה רבה החכמה הטמונה בבריאה ששמה אדם.

"לפני 30 שנה החליט נורמן קזנס לבצע מחקר מעניין: האם החומרים שמופרשים בגוף בשעת שמחה הינם רק בשעת שמחה פנימית אמיתית, או שמא גם בשעה שאדם מבצע תנועות חיצוניות של שמחה.

"הוא העמיד אנשים אשר ביצעו תנועות גוף של 'כאילו שמחה', אח"כ נלקחו מהם דגימות דם שהוכיחו שהמוח מתייחס לתנועות שמחה כאל שמחה. המוח לא מפריש את החומרים הללו כשאדם עושה תנועות של התעמלות וכדו', אלא רק כאשר אדם עושה תנועות של שמחה. החיצוניות מעוררת את הפנימיות".

Bnos Moav Today

The gemara in Sanhedrin [106] describes how the Bnos Moav seduced the Jewish men in this weeks Parsha:

אמר לו בלעם לבלק: אלהיהם של אלו [של עם ישראל] - שונא זימה הוא והם, [עם ישראל], מתאוים לכלי פשתן!
בוא ואשיאך עצה [כיצד להכשילם]:
עשה להן קלעים [מין אהלים], והושיב בהן זונות, והושב זקינה מבחוץ, וילדה מבפנים, וימכרו להן לישראל כלי פשתן.
עשה להן קלעים מהר שלג עד בית הישימות, והושיב בהן זונות, אשה זקינה [מבוגרת] היתה יושבת מבחוץ, וילדה מבפנים.
ובשעה שישראל אוכלין ושותין ושמחין ויוצאין לטייל בשוק, אומרת לו הזקינה: אי אתה מבקש לקנות כלי פשתן?
וכשהישראל שואל למחיר הבגד, הזקינה אומרת לו בשוה [את מחירו האמיתי], וילדה אומרת לו בפחות.
וכן הן עושות שתים ושלש פעמים.
ואחר כך אומרת לו הצעירה: הרי את אצלי כבן בית, שב ברור לעצמך ככל שתרצה.
וצרצורי [נודות] של יין עמוני מונח אצלה. ובאותו זמן עדיין לא נאסר יין של נכרים על ישראל.
אמרה לו: רצונך שתשתה כוס של יין?
כיון ששתה הישראל מן היין - נשתכר, ובער בו יצר הרע.
אמר לה: השמיעי לי [השמעי לי לתשמיש].
הוציאה יראתה מתוך חיקה, ואמרה לו: עבוד לזה!
אמר לה: הלא יהודי אני, ואסור לנו לעבוד עבודה זרה!
אמרה לו: ומה איכפת לך, אינך צריך לעבדה. כלום מבקשים ממך אלא פיעור [אינני מבקשת ממך - אלא שתוציא רעי בפניה]! שכך היתה עבודתה של עבודה זרה זו, שמוציאין רעי בפניה.
והוא אינו יודע שעבודתה של יראה זו בכך, ולכן עשה כדבריה.
ואותה צעירה מוסיפה אחר כך ואומרת: ולא עוד, אלא שאיני מנחתך - עד שתכפור בתורת משה רבך.
והישראל עושה כדבריה, וכופר בתורת משה.
שנאמר: "המה באו בעל פעור וינזרו לבשת ויהיו שקוצים באהבם".

 He [Balaam] said thus to him [Balak]. 'The God of these hates lewdness, and they are very partial to linen. Come, and I will advise you. Erect for them tents enclosed by hangings, in which place harlots, old women outside, young women inside, to sell them linen garments.' So he erected curtained tents from the snowy mountain [Hermon] as far as Beth ha-Yeshimoth [i.e., right from north to south], and placed harlots in them — old women outside, young women inside. And when an Jew ate, drank, and was merry, and issued forth for a stroll in the market place, the old woman would say to him, 'Do you not desire linen garments?' The old woman offered it at its current value, but the young one for less. This happened two or three times. After that she [the young woman] would say to him, 'You are now like one of the family; sit down and choose for yourself.'

Gourds of Ammonite wine lay near her, and at that time Ammonite and heathen wine had not yet been forbidden. Said she to him, 'Would you like to drink a glass of wine?' Having drunk, [his passion] was inflamed, and he exclaimed to her, 'Yield to me!' Thereupon she brought forth an idol from her bosom and said to him, 'Worship this'! 'But I am a Jew', he 

protested. 'What does that concern you?' she rejoined, 'Nothing is required but that you should remove your feces' — while he did not know that such was its worship so he did so.

'No', [said she,] 'I will not leave here until you have denied the Torah of Moshe your teacher,' as it is written, They went into Baal-peor, and separated themselves unto that shame, and their abominations were according as they loved".

This is a classic lesson as to how the yetzer hara works. It starts so INNOCENTLY:-). Old ladies selling linen. Nothing forbidden. Men are attracted to women but generally the younger the better. Alte bubbes? C'mon. Great in the kitchen but not what men are searching for in the bedroom. So it is the LINEN that gets them. They like linen garments. Nothing wrong with that:-) [as long as there is no wool mixed in]! THEN, little by little the yetzer hara uses its nefarious psychological mind games to bring the Jews to proposition the young women who request that they first serve their idol [which also seemed innocent because relieving oneself in front of an idol seems a good way to disgrace it], followed by .....

I hear people today saying "What is wrong? It is consensual?? Let them have fun. They are not hurting anyone. Don't be such a fanatic." That is what people believe. Many people. Men with women. Men with men. Women with women. Men who used to be women with women. Women who used to be men with men. And the list goes on. They even have a term for it. "Marriage equality". AHHHHH!!! Who can argue with equality?!! I once read a book by a psychologist who treated a man who was STRONGLY attracted to animals such as bears. He was injured at times but it didn't stop him. Attraction is attraction. Why don't we legalize marriage to animals?? "Arthur, do take your BEAUTIFUL feline friend ["cat" in normal English] as your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do". Where is the equality in a world where one may only marry a human being?? And what about marrying one's sister or mother? Why isn't that acceptable? So many people were up in arms when Woody Allen [who should be the poster child against assimilation because more messed up than him is hard to find] married his step daughter many decades his junior. What is the problem? If they agree it should be fine. And they agreed. She is Chinese? What is wrong with marrying someone of a different culture? Are you racist? Some people today are against marrying into one's own religion because it is SO parochial. You can only love someone who thinks like you? Get with it!

Idol worship? What's the problem?? We, the enlightened believe that anyone can worship as they see fit. Or not worship at all. DEMOCRACY!!! The HOOOLLLYYYY Democracy. 3,300 years of tradition?? Can't hold a candle to democracy!! G-d? He's OK - but not when His values conflict with democracy.

So what happened? 24k died. A plague. The world isn't hefker. There is a price to pay for decadence.

This whole post modern revolution exacts heavy casualties. Lack of personal identity. A complete absence of a value system. Confusion. Meaninglessness leading to depression. The erosion of healthy families. Today a married person can go on line and in a minute can be in touch with married people of the opposite gender interested in "dating" someone other than their spouse. Is this legal? Yes. 

We are told and then tell our children - "Go to college". TORAH U-MADDA. You must get an education. You have to live in the real world. You have to be realistic and plan for the future. ALLLL TRUE!!!! We need to be realistic. We can't be paupers living on food stamps. It costs money to live. Almost nothing is free but breathing and dying [not at the same time though]. What happens on these college campuses? Alright, kids having "fun". There, they don't even have to start with the old ladies. Straight away with the young ones. "My son went to HARVARD/YALE/PRINCETON/ BRANDIES" etc. Is there ANY bigger nachas? Yes, but what is the price we pay?? Is money EVERYTHING??? Is there a point where we can say "VALUES before money". The problem is that our young people are so confused about values because of the mixed messages they receive. On one hand there is tremendous pressure to succeed at their career [i.e. make a lot of money] - even for girls, many of whom would be quite content without a career. On the other hand - there is family, "religion" and other values. There is also our favorite sports team. Many competing values. So when met with the test of stealing money or not so many succumb. It is their fault but they are also the products of  culture where it is not just about having enough to support yourself and your family but that one's value is gauged by his "bottom line". So when they see a way to make millions in a dishonest way they pounce on it like a defensive lineman on a fumble. 

So beloved friends - Make a good living. Be normal and happy. But don't get sucked in by our society whose ideals [and lack thereof] leave so much to be desired. And BEWARE of the wiles of the yetzer hara, called a זקן וכסיל. Old and foolish but very sneaky.   

Rav Ruderman

Today is Rav Ruderman's yahrtzeit.

ליארצייט הגאון רבי יעקב יצחק רודרמן זצ"ל ראש ישיבת 'נר ישראל' בבולטימור - י"ד בתמוז תשמ"ז



תלמיד ישיבת נר ישראל בבולטימור עמד מופתע. הוא ניצב לפני יהודי זקן שעלה מליטא וחקר אותו אודות ראש הישיבה שלו. כשהשיב: "הגאון הרב רודרמן", הגיב הזקן בתגובה מפתיעה. "רודרמן שנולד בדלהינוב? מעניין, מעניין מאוד... זה היה ידוע בעיירה. מסתובב ילד בן עשר ברחוב הראשי ומדבר ל...עצמו. כך כל יום, במשך שעות ארוכות. מבוקר עד ערב. ואתה טוען שהילד הזה נעשה ראש ישיבה..."



לאחר מספר ימים שב הבחור לבולטימור וסיפר לראש הישיבה על הפגישה. ראש הישיבה חייך: "אכן כך היה, הייתי צועד הלוך ושוב ברחובה של עיר ומשנן בעל פה דפי גמרא. בכיסי מעילי היה כרך של תלמוד בבלי בפורמט קטן, ומדי פעם כשחששתי שמא לא דייקתי בצורה מושלמת בשינון הנאמר, הייתי מעיין בגמרא וממשיך לשנן". בהזדמנות אחרת סיפר לתלמידיו כי בבחרותו כאשר גלתה ישיבת סלובדקה למינסק, נהג לצאת לרחובה המרכזי של העיר וכך שינן במשך תקופה קצרה את כל סדר נזיקין בעל פה.



את 'טיוליו' לא הפסיק. אחד מתלמידיו מספר לנו על מקרה שאירע כחמישים שנה לאחר הטיולים של דלהינוב ומינסק. בשבת בבוקר לאחר הסעודה יצא הגר"י רודרמן זצ"ל לטייל. הוא שקע בסוגיא בה עסק והחל לטייל במרחבי הש"ס בנסיון למצוא פיתרון לקושיא חמורה שהעסיקה את מוחו. הוא החל ללכת, עבר רחוב ועוד רחוב, שכונה ועוד שכונה ,ללא משים גמא מרחקים, קילומטרים רבים, עד שהגיע לקצה השני של העיר, לשכונה מרוחקת ביותר. שם בשעות אחר הצהרים פגש בו יהודי מקומי מבעלי הבתים הנכבדים באיזור, שהיה קשור אליו ולישיבתו. הלה היה בטוח שראש הישיבה שבת את שבתו בשכונה זו, הוא לא העלה בדעתו שיהודי בגיל כה מבוגר יערוך צעדה שכזו. "ראש הישיבה מגיע לשכונה ולא בא להתארח אצלי?" נעלב אותו אדם, "ואפילו לא מודיע, לא מספר לאיש, ורק בשבת לעת מנחה פוגשים בו?" הרב רודרמן החל להתנצל: "לא שבתתי בשכונה, פשוט יצאתי לטיול מביתי". דבר לא עזר, האיש מיאן להאמין. חודשים רבים היה צורך לפייסו ולשכנעו שאכן כך היה.

מסופר כי פעם ביקשה ממנו הרבנית שישגיח על בתם התינוקת עד שתשוב הביתה מעסוקיה. ראש הישיבה התיישב ליד עריסת התינוקת כשהוא שקוע בספרים שלפניו וידו האחת מנענעת את העריסה ללא הרף. לאחר שעה שבה הרבנית, שוחחה עמו בקצרה והודיעה לו כי היא לוקחת עמה את התינוקת לחדרה. ראש הישיבה נענע בראשו והמשיך בתלמודו. לעת ערב קם מן הגמרא וידו עדיין מנענעת את העריסה. הוא ניגש להביט בעריסה ופרץ בזעקה: "אבוי, גנבו לנו את בתנו הקטנה".


"כיום לא לומדים", התאונן פעם בפני תלמידו הג"ר ישראל דב קפלן. "פשוט לא לומדים. בצעירותי כשהייתי בגיל 15 בישיבת סלובודקה קמנו בחמש לפנות בוקר והלכנו לישון לאחר חצות לילה. חמישים דף ליום למדנו, מדי יום ביומו". בהזדמנות אחרת אמר לתלמידו יומיים לפני פסח כי הוא מתחיל ללמוד מסכת פסחים, בערב פסח עשה כבר סיום...

(יתד נאמן ואתחנן תשמ"ז)

Great Man - Links

Today is the yahrtzeit of Rav Ben Tzion Kahn ztz"l, Baal Ha"Avnei Tzion". You probably never heard of him but he was one of the biggest geonim ever to walk the streets of America. He not only knew thousands of very complex sfarim [which he would quote with the EXACT source - no computers, just his hasmada and memory] but more than that his chidushim are just OFF THE CHARTS. NOT SHAYICH!!!  IMPOSSIBBBLLLLEEE to be that brilliant. And in the US he wasn't even a practicing Rav. "Just" a businessman. He was even holier because he was a holocaust survivor who remained [and became an even greater] Tzadik!

I purchased a dusty copy of אבני ציון חלק א years back and I was SMITTEN. I couldn't find the other volumes in sefarim stores so I would go to the National Library to photocopy pieces. Then I was in Williamsburg for a wedding and I went to his son to purchase my own copies. [He was really nice. Sat me down, gave me some refreshing OJ and we schmoozed]. 

Here is a recent shiur I gave over from a simman of his sefer. I have given numerous others in the past and hope to give more. Here is the third volume, available for FREE download!!! Here is a sefer of collected articles ordered according to parsha. 

Please say a perek tehillim or learn a mishna for HaGaon Rav Ben Tzion ben R' Eliyahu Hakohen ztz"l. 

Link

Exciiitiiingggg!!!!!!! Torah on Balak!!!

How to pass nisyonos, kavod habriyos, talking to donkeys, din rodef and much more!!:-)

בס"ד!!!!!

Siddur - Birkas She-osani Kirtzono: Gender Studies

Understanding Women

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

GREAT NEW SHIUR COMING UP ON THE BRACHA OF שעשני כרצונו talking about and trying to understand some of the differences between men and women.

STAY TUNED!

Reciprocity

"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters."

A Mitzva On Sunday - A Crime On Monday - A Little Kanaus On Wednesday

We are very part of the culture in which we live and via osmosis we absorb their values without even being conscious of this fact. 

Example: Every so often, we hear of a football player who PULVERIZED his wife or girlfriend. He punched her in the face and she hit the ground, where she remained until she was taken to the emergency room. 

There is a terrible outcry when this happens. The player will be fined, suspended by the team and league and often times will even be arrested. Then he will go on ESPN AND SAY "Yo man, I made a mistake. I'm SORRY. Gotta learn to control my anger" [you're telling us?!!]. 

But WAIT!!! He does the SAME THING EVERY SUNDAY in front of TENS OF THOUSANDS of cheering fans and MILLIONS MORE on TV. He gets paid by the very same team that suspended him for punching his "beloved" to DESTROY with unspeakable cruelty any human being wearing a different color uniform on the field. When he makes an especially hard hit he is celebrated and he celebrates. We watch on the eleven o'clock news as he dances around with his friends, the fans go wild, as an innocent human being lies on the field, writhing in intense pain on the ground, after this now joyous man sent him flying.

So what is a punishable crime off the field is a MITZVA on the field. [When these men are trained to be violent and make such a good living doing so - do we except them to suddenly turn into sweet docile creatures at home? I, for one wouldn't marry a football player, for more reasons than one....:-)].

Yet, everybody knows not to schedule a shiur during the Super Bowl because it doesn't have a chance. What shuls do instead is have a Super Bowl showing with a shiur at half time. Ahhhhh!!!! Torah can't compete with football.

Or, maybe worse, we teach our impressionable youth [my "favorite" line - He pays for the food of other people in line at Dunkin' Donuts and it makes them feel good "but more importantly, it makes me feel good". Ahhhhh - That is why we should do chesed, to make ourselves feel good!:-) See Bava Basra 9b...] to strive to be like the people who are part and parcel of that world, despite the fact that they abandoned tradition. What is the message? Be like the Goyim. Be part of that world. The zenith of success is not in Torah, Maasim Tovim and Middos Tovos, but in money, fame, athletic prowess and business success. I am ashamed that many of my fellow Jews have a value system where what should be negative values have turned into the greatest aspirations and EVEN EDUCATE OUR CHILDREN THAT WAY.  

וכדי ביזיון וקצף! :-) 

    

Alive In The Flesh? - Link

The claim: According to many sources a tzadik is alive in the physical world even after he dies??? 

Where are these sources???? [עי' גליון הש"ס בכתובות ק"ג אבל בודאי לא נאמר שם כלל על כל צדיק] 

Also, if the Rebbe is alive, then why isn't the Freidiker Rebbe also alive??

Also, if he is alive, WHERE IS HE????????????????

I welcome feedback [or at least a donation to the new website:-)]. I don't mean to mock the Rebbe chas vi-shalom. I hold him in the highest regard. I just don't get the "he is still alive" idea. 

The Donkey At The Shiva Home

Myse: This evening I chanced upon a shiva home for mincha and maariv. I was able to help make the minyan because of my mother [who is Jewish] and birthdate [over 13 years ago]. The atmosphere was very grim. There were 3 brothers who lost their elderly mother and one brother in particular was visibly broken. I am a very upbeat and optimistic person with a weakness for always searching for the silver lining in the dark clouds, so after much hesitation and deliberation, I decided to say something. You know, an attempt at some words of consolation. As I was talking the visibly despondent brother was shaking his head as if to say "no, no, no" and when I finished my short discourse, he KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK. He didn't like it ONE BIT.[The other 2 brothers didn't seem to mind]. It made me feel like I just experienced ותפתח ה' את פי האתון - me being the אתון. My natural inclination was to defend myself but I decided that this would be the IDEAL time to keep my mouth shut and accept his rebuke. So I did.

Li-myse:

A] You can't win 'em all.

B] Don't stop trying.

C] Don't try to defend yourself when people are overcome by emotion, be it sadness or anger etc. etc. It usually just makes things worse. 

D] If somebody says something to try to make you feel better, try to return the favor and make the person feel good in return, regardless of your feelings. [Not easy]. 

E] Forgive those who don't do "D".

F] Pray to Hashem that you are able to say the right words. Just to talk - even a donkey can do, as we learn in this weeks parsha.  

    

Shem Mishmuel Parshas Balak

Lyla Tov

In my house, the children that Hashem was so kind as to grant me, start speaking English but then after they start going to school and learning Hebrew that becomes their primary language and they speak an Israeli accented and not completely comfortable English. I usually speak to them in Hebrew because I want to make sure that they understand me. Not that they always listen to what I say, but at least I know that it wasn't because they didn't understand the words.... 

Anyway, the other day I asked my 3 year old daughter [four on Sunday אי"ה] Adina'le, whose English is better than her Hebrew, what לילה טוב means. She answered "Go to sleep".

The mussar is that we all have filters in our brains and everything we hear and see goes through those filters. There is reality and there is our perception of reality.

Big topic. Not the time...  

Birchos Shelo Asani Aved And Isha

Biur Chometz And Ain Onshin Min Ha-din - A Breathtaking Pilpul

The Need For Transcendence

“To live on a day-to-day basis is insufficient for human beings; we need to transcend, transport, escape; we need meaning, understanding, and explanation; we need to see over-all patterns in our lives. We need hope, the sense of a future. And we need freedom (or, at least, the illusion of freedom) to get beyond ourselves, whether with telescopes and microscopes and our ever-burgeoning technology, or in states of mind that allow us to travel to other worlds, to rise above our immediate surroundings.

We may seek, too, a relaxing of inhibitions that makes it easier to bond with each other, or transports that make our consciousness of time and mortality easier to bear. We seek a holiday from our inner and outer restrictions, a more intense sense of the here and now, the beauty and value of the world we live in.” 

― Oliver Sacks