As is well known, the job of assistant rabbi has opened up at the Park East Synagogue on Manhattan's Upper East Side. What happened there? Everybody is talking about it but almost nobody knows. All speculation and hearsay. Don't believe anything you read.
I am seriously considering applying for the job. There are three things holding me back:
1] I have already been fired twice [inspiring me to name myself the "Firedike Rebbe"]. A third firing would be a halachic "Chazaka" [a presumption that I am a good for nothing for the rest of my life] and that would BUM me out.
2] The daily commute from Israel to Manhattan would be tough [though both Israel and the shul are in the "east"].
3] I am TOTALLY unqualified.
But besides that - I am game. I am sure that the salary is more than the salary in my present position of Kollel Guy and head janitor in "Kollel Toras Elchonon". Plus, I would get to sit on the fancy throne that they give the rabbi in these modern shuls. Instead of the "Firedike Rebbe", I will call myself "King Elchonon". And in front of the head rabbi - "Assistant King Elchonon".
EGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!馃槀馃槀
