The Uses [And Abuses] Of Language - Who Is An Apikorus?

People often say things but their usage of words corrupt and twist their true intent.

"With all due respect....." almost always means "with complete contempt". It sounds nice on the surface "due respect" but it really is quite harsh.

I have a weekly email that goes out to a few hundred people. My assumption is that some read it and many more ignore it. That is fine. Religious freedom granted. I am not going to try to force anyone to read words of Torah and chizzuk. Their loss.

I received an email from an old friend a few months ago who could take it no longer. After receiving his weekly dose of Torah and chasidus he shot me back an email "Ally, I love you. Please take me off your list".

I hadn't heard from him for a really long time before and that was the last I heard from him since. But I thought he loved me? What he meant was "I don't want to offend you" [I love you]. "Please take me off your list" [Your emails are really annoying me and I never read them anyway so get off my back].

He is off my list:-).

One very observant friend of mine once told his [former] close friend "I love you but you are an apikorus".

They haven't spoken since and the "apikorus" still feels the sting. The accuser told me that he regrets many things he has said in his life but not that comment.

What he really meant was "I don't want to hurt your feelings [I love you] but you have to know the truth. You are a rasha [apikorsim are reshaim who have no portion in the world to come]".

I happen to think he has a point. The gemara says that anyone who says מאי אהנו לן רבנן - What good do Torah scholars do for us, is a richtige apikorus [a bona fide heretic]. This person was making light of the importance of Torah scholars. [He happens to have tens of millions of dollars also and how sweet would it be if he had a proper respect for the value of Talmidei Chachomim. He would support his very poor friend and both would laugh all the way to gan eden. But friend "A" has no money and friend "B" has no true kavod hatorah. Too bad!].

Sadly, according to that definition, there are many apikorsim in Klal Yisrael.

In the spirit of Rebbe Aharon M'Belz who was a great melamed zchus on Yidden and whose yahrtzeit is tonight, we will say that, nebuch nebuch, these people don't know any better and it is not their fault. They are captives of a generation of crass materialism and spiritual shallowness.