Why are people negative??
Why do people complain??
Nobody likes negative people and nobody likes complainers. Negative people don't like themselves either nor do complainers. Life is a huuuge drag. Things constantly stink. So why not just change the "disc" and cut all the garbage out of your repertoire?
The answer in MANY cases is that people have some unconscious hope that if they are negative enough or if they complain enough the situation will change.
News: It doesn't.
So GIVE IT UP. Let go. ACCEPT THE SITUATION AS IT IS.
Accept the situation because you can't change it. [If you can, then stop complaining and change it]. Accept the situation because this is EXACTLY where Hashem wants you. Accept the situation because by doing so you become a much stronger person, one whose happiness is not dependant on external circumstances.
"I won't be happy until I get married".
"After ---- died I can never be happy or complete again".
"Until I have adequate money I won't be able to relax and enjoy life."
"If my child isn't happy then I can't be either".
There are countless such sentences that people say or believe consciously or subconsciously.
They are making a critical mistake.
You don't need a spouse to be happy.
You don't need a satisfying marriage in order to be happy.
You don't need any specific person in order to be happy.
You don't need money in order to be happy. [You can email me and I'll give you my number and prove it to you. Big struggle but not unhappy].
You don't need nachas from children in order to be happy.
You don't need good health in order to be happy.
In order to be happy, you just have to BE.
You ARE. You are alive. You are breathing. You are a Jew. You have a soul that will exist forever. Hashem loves you no matter what. You don't need appreciation or love from any other source. Hashem loves you and you should love yourself. For that you don't need anybody or anything.
What I am saying is that I am ONE HUNDRED PERCENT convinced that all of your dissatisfaction in life is you own doing and therefore you can undo it. There is no objective "bad" in this world. We don't believe that anything is bad. There is "difficult", "challenging" "painful" or other rough cases but never bad. NOTHING is stopping you from being BLISSFULLY happy but you.
DECIDE that your life is PERFECT and all you have to do is help other make their lives more pleasant. The less you think about your problems the less they exist because they ONLY EXIST IN YOUR MIND. You fuel them with your worrying and lack of willingness to accept the reality.
This idea requires a few books and not one post and I can see people taking issue with me but I am convinced that I am correct.
ואידך פירושא זיל גמור.